Channel Update/Misconceptions of the Narc Abuse Target/The Fate of the Narcissist Just a quick channel update to my viewers. Thank you for the support and feedback over the past year and a half. Some concern was expressed about my situation. Yes I am here and I am currently in the process of moving and that is requiring all of my focus and attention. Much is being learned that will hopefully provide material for future videos. I have a completed script that I will be working on once time becomes available. So in the interim I will share some of my current thoughts on narcissism. I will break those thoughts down into two areas of interest: The first theme will be an effort to shed light on some major misconceptions the victim has after being discarded by a narcissist. That process will focus on the Herculean task the victim has of reinterpreting every experience they lived through for the period of time they spent with the narcissist. The damage a narcissist does to their partner is multifaceted. One of the major ways that harm is done is by creating a warped sense of reality in a previously sane and grounded partner. That phony fantasy world the narc draws the victim into creates a faulty perception of the narcissist in the victim's mind and causes that victim to have a faulty interpretation of what that relationship meant in the arc of their life. So a key component of the healing process is replacing those false mental images and ideas and the emotions that result from those illusions with the actual facts of the situation. Once the target correctly and accurately perceives the actual impact of that narcissistic relationship on their lives and sees the truth, the reality of that narcissist, they will be able to frame that relationship more accurately and put things into perspective. Yes, the fog does need to clear if we are ever to see things for what they actually are. Yes, the gaslighting, the mirroring, the reframing, the projection, the future faking, the lies, the treachery, just about all of the narc's wiles were all designed to create ambiguity, “fog”, confusion. Take away the misperception and that narc and the relationship come clearly into focus. Make no mistake the true appearance of that narcissist and that relationship will take the victim's breath away and make them nauseous, so it may take some time to adapt to the shock of it all. Sometimes harsh reality needs to be accepted in small doses, but regaining sanity and a sense of reality demands it. The second theme will be to share some current thoughts on the narcissist and their future fate. One of the first things that I noticed right after the treacherous discard and attack by that narcissist was that I somehow still felt close to and loved the person who had been so devious, treacherous, and evil towards me. Yes that narcissist came back to my place of work weeks later threatening me and curiously enough I still felt joy at having that creep close to me. That made no sense and yet it made all the sense in the world when you realize that you were still very much in love with the person you spent the last 2 ½ years of your life with. Yes the sack of filth standing before you was no longer that person and in fact was never that person, but still something inside of you hoped that your ex was somehow present inside of that ghoul. You were mistaken and only after learning about covert pathological narcissism could you even begin to understand how mistaken you were. Even in those early days I realized I was probably going to have to go through some sort of major learning process to finally deeply understand and comprehend how wrong that relationship with the narcissist was, what an incredible tragedy it was that this person came into my life. Using logic and reason and the realization of how totally fake the whole encounter with the narc was made it clear there was nothing good in that relationship, but my heart and emotions could only accept the “good” of it all. So to a discarded victim that demon was somehow still an angel and the future that narc and you planned out was the only version of happiness and joy that you could even conceive of. Yes I still believed that narc was the answer to my prayers sent by the forces of good, not the emissary of Satan they were in actuality. So it became clear to me very early on as I learned more and more about covert narcissism and the farce that was perpetrated upon me that I would eventually have to fully understand how wrong that relationship was and how destructive and evil a force that person was in my life. Yes, it seemed logical and rational that ultimately when I finally understood those two facts the departure of the narc would be seen for what it was in actuality: a blessing not a curse. But despite all of that slowly growing enlightenment, throughout all of those months of suffering my heart was still desperately holding on to the future that I had planned with this person. Knowledge gives power and the undeniable reality was that my ex was a covert pathological narcissist and that meant the person that I loved and believed in was simply a fabricated phony persona. That love, that loyalty, that future together and all of those plans, in fact every single interaction with that sick narcopath were merely game playing by a creature pretending to be a human being. So the battle rages on inside of the victim where the mind, logic and reason, the facts fight against the heart and soul taken over by a narcissist virus, causing the victim to tightly cling to the fantasy that the narcissist created. The sad outcome is a disintegrated human being suffering from cognitive dissonance. That virus of dysfunctional irrational illogical thinking transfers directly from the narc to the victim but make no mistake the narc plays an active role in infecting their target. The narc is the one who gaslights and deceives in every conceivable way until the target believes every lie without question and totally buys in to the fantasy world that narc custom makes for the occasion. Yes for the victim it is a lifetime commitment and the narc echoes that sentiment with their lips. But the fact is this is only another “occasion” for the narc and there is no way on earth the self deluded narc would ever belittle themselves and limit their life experience to a relationship with one insignificant human being. After all the narc's grandiosity complex dictates that they are god. Yes even a narc who grants a lifetime relationship to a chosen partner always sees the situation as one of lowering themselves and the resentment shows in the boorish hideous treatment these chosen “loved” ones have to endure behind closed doors. So the admonitions and heartfelt advice of some telling a victim to move on is well received. But we always have to realize that each individual and each individual's encounter with a narcissist is unique. To put this on a personal note, yes I feel that I have moved on and I am nearly healed. The person that was reduced to a confused, shocked, stunned human being desperately trying to understand what happened to them has learned what happened to him and is no longer confused. That person that fought hard to find out the truth has now found out the truth and accepted that harsh reality. Yes, throughout the months of learning about narcissism and mentally understanding what narcissism is all about my heart had different notions altogether but with time that heart did let go and did understand. But we all have a subconscious and no one has command of that portion of their mind. I can tell you that within the last three days I had another dream about that narcissist being so dissatisfied and me desperately wanting that person to be happy, to please them and what a relief it was when that narc finally threw me a few crumbs of approval. But that was in my dream and it told me that even now subconsciously I have not fully moved on or gotten over it even though I continue to progress mentally. That is a fact and denying that reality will not aid in a full recovery. Just look at the sad outcome of those who refuse to see reality and deny it, fight it. Just look at narcissists and what happens to a person who will never live in a world of reality, a world shared with others. True healing for the victim requires seeing things as clearly as possible. The important thing is that I now do understand that the narc was a force of evil in my life and I do feel fortunate for that creature being removed from my environment despite those residual attachments to the fantasy that narc created. So then we come to the narcissist themselves and their fate. The target eventually gets to a point where the fate of that narcissist is of minimal concern to them, but yet they are still curious and wondering to one extent or another what will happen to the narcopath. Yes it's hard to believe a treacherous deviant will simply walk away from all of the damage they did and not have to pay. But the target allows for that possibility, since God is in control and has purposes that are beyond any human being's comprehension. That leaves the target with peace and the possibility of living a life filled with joy. Well here’s the reality for that narcissist. Yes, that narc discarded you, found a weasel that was more than willing to destroy another human being they didn’t even know and viciously triangulated in their sick Karpman triangle. That narc mostly got it all their way except for the fact that the victim was still breathing and then had the audacity to actually put the effort in to repair the damage that narc perpetrated. Then the narc came up with their new ruse. Yes that narc moved on and has been rewarded. That narc has now met the right person in the right place at the right time. “True love”, with a “real man”, in an ideal environment, the place she was always meant to be. Let's forget about the cost of that achievement, after all it was borne by others and they are forgotten and discarded. Yes all of the components for the life that narc always thinks they deserved are in place. But there is a problem. Yes, even if we ignore the treachery, the multiple commitments made and walked away from. Even if we ignore the pile of victims in that narc's past, there is a problem. Yes, the kids are out of the house and the decks have been cleared of the unworthy but there is a problem. Let's ignore the fact that two years after the discard the damage that narc has done to her previous lifetime partner and soul mate still surrounds that forgotten one as his life is being held together with intense effort and intermittently threatening to fall to pieces. There is still a problem. Yes the narc has now met the right person at the right time in the right place under all of the right circumstances. As a bonus the narc has created the ultimate persona to go along with this ideal circumstance. There “final” persona. Yes that narc is smiling and happy and believes they have now finally found peace, joy, and contentment. But there is a problem and in fact there are multiple problems. Somehow the narc believes that just pretending their treachery never existed, denying that anything that was previously done actually occurred makes that narc think they are no longer responsible for the damage they have done. So the narc blindly goes on into their new life thinking that somehow everything will be just great and fine. But that’s not how the world works because even though that narc thinks they are the center of the world and even though they think that they control it all, the average sane human being understands that is a total delusion on the part of the narcissist. So that narc wanted our concern and our empathy. They wanted us to focus all of our attention on them and devote our lives to them and we did. Then they tired of it and threw us away finding a new source to satiate their warped appetite for destruction and now somehow that narc thinks that life will reward them with everything they ever wanted. Well, that won’t happen. The narc has baggage. The narc has a history. The narc has a pile of victims from their past a mile high and they will never be able to escape that reality. More important than all of those truths is the simple fact that the narc is blind to the fact that they have done this over and over and over again throughout their lives. Of course we always focus on the victims of these narcopathic sacks of filth and that is right to do, but that narc is also a victim of themselves. Every initial involvement was ideal for the narc as they idealized and mirrored the new and exciting soul mate and lifetime partner of the moment. Yes, the narc no longer wanted your care or your concern and you as an em path had to learn that it isn’t your obligation to heal another human being or to take responsibility for their happiness. It's not your responsibility to try to reason with a narc and make them understand. There is no talking reason and logic to someone who is repulsed by the truth. So the narc is headed for the cliff and you are unable to do a thing about it. Your hands are tied and the narc won't even listen. So that narc's fate plays itself out and that narc will destroy themselves by their own hand, either rapidly or slowly. It doesn't really matter, they are the masters of their destiny but they fail to see their own poor judgment and inability to navigate through or appreciate the precious opportunity that is life. So the narc deteriorates over time. Yes, that narc is destroying themselves and what we have learned is that the narcissist is their own enemy. Their misery has always come at their own hand and yet they’ve always pointed to another human being as the source of it. That narc can change their location and go to the most ideal tropical setting and have what they seemingly think is the most ideal life with the most ideal person and they will never be happy, they will always be miserable human beings. They will never have peace, they will never have joy, they will never have contentment, they will never be satisfied, and after all of the misery that they brought upon themselves they will never be able to really blame anyone but themselves because they did have opportunities. There were people who cared, there were people with insight into their lives that wanted to make a difference. Ultimately that narc will have to come face-to-face with their maker and there will be no one to point the finger at. The victim will similarly not be pointing to the narcissist for their woes. We are all responsible for ourselves and our behavior as human beings. So, does the victim need to wish that narc well? They can if they want to and have the desire to. Does the victim need to hope for the best when it comes to that narc? Sure if they feel the need to. We endeavor to do no harm to the narc, but is it OK to just be numb and neutral? It isn't like we didn't try or turned our back on the narc. So yes, in my opinion it's fine to no longer care at all what that narc's ultimate fate is, good or bad. The tragedy that surrounds us may well be primarily a result of that narcissist showing up at our doorstep, but ultimately the decision made to love that person and allow that person into our lives and our hearts and our minds was our own. Yes, we have to understand what it was inside of us that allowed us to make such a grievous mistake, but we should also take ourselves “off the hook”. Most of us could never conceive of and had never heard of a covert pathological narcissist. Most of us had no reason to doubt that narcissist or their sincerity. The narc on the other hand was well aware of the game being played. Now they believe that they will be rewarded? OK, Just like a previous video I maintain their past will haunt them not because of remorse, but because of fear. Even a narc has to realize eventually evil acts catch up with you. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.