The Covert Narcissist Never
“Sleeps”: Longer Version The covert narc, just like rust
never stops trying to take control of the narrative, never stops
trying to erode the confidence of an ex partner that is wise to their
ways. Yes, just like rust, the narc never sleeps. That narcissist
eroded and rusted out whole sections of our life beyond repair. That
damage had to be cut out, new patch panels fabricated and those
panels had to be welded in place, primed and painted. We may think
that we have patched, welded in, painted and primed every surface
point, but without our knowledge there was a small spot that we
neglected and immediately the rust took hold. We were lucky enough
to spot that area and retreated it, but without our vigilance that
area would have quickly become yet another area of erosion that could
potentially rust the entire piece. The primary example of this is
the long line of crafty commenters seeking to covertly create
unnecessary ambiguity and wanting to place doubt into people who have
just come out of the most extreme fantasy world any sane person could
ever be drawn into. Yes these commenters are often focusing on the
person creating the video commentary, attempting to undermine the
progress made in exposing the wiles of covert narco paths, but the
message sent is also intended to spread misinformation to those who
view the comment. No, a healing victim doesn't need ambiguity, they
need clarity. A healing victim doesn't need to be told the abuse was
their fault or that they were “equally” to blame in a narco
pathic relationship. Then some of these people go one step further
and attempt to gaslight whole groups of people by stating they are
trying to be “helpful” to the victims. It was never about
the victim not seeing their own fault and blame. That victim never
had a problem with self introspection or soul searching. They did
look deep inside themselves and try to become better people. But the
em path was blind to their self-love deficiency and the discard from
the narcopath forced them to understand what it was inside themselves
that the narcopath capitalized on and took advantage of. Yes that em
path turned victim had to face their co-dependency and did. Yes the
victim understands very clearly that they made a huge mistake in
trusting that narcopath. The victim is well aware of being self love
deficient, co-dependent, naive, not vigilant, too trusting and too
willing to believe. The victim is well aware that they shouldn't
have accepted and allowed the abuse. Yes something inside the victim
told them that that abuse was OK, in fact the victim actually
subconsciously thought it was normal to be abused. Yes somehow that
victim felt “comfortable” being put down and having all of their
self worth and dreams and accomplishments denigrated and minimized.
Yes, it may well be that previous narco paths in that em paths
childhood conditioned them to accept abuse. But the
bigger picture , the main theme of that narco pathic relationship has
been craft-fully omitted or minimized with those arguments intended
to “help” victims. The big problem with that narco pathic
relationship is the fact that the narcopath is a predator, seeking to
find someone to victimize. The foundation of a relationship is all
about being genuine and sincere and the em path was all of those
things. The em path gave of themselves and loved and committed and
was loyal. The em path, for the most part sought to be a positive
influence in the narco paths life. The narcopath has none of those
things to their credit. No there is no equivalency whatsoever when
it comes to assigning blame in that relationship. The greatest
portion of the blame and responsibility for both the abuse and the
dysfunction in that narco pathic relationship rests almost solely on
the shoulders of that narcopath. The sincerity of intentions is the
primary thing to focus on when two people enter a relationship and
without a doubt the narcopath was insincere. The empath, no matter
how faulty a human being, at least was serious about the
relationship. That should close the case of where the vast majority
of the blame needs to be placed. Yes that victim may have
had many “close calls” in past relationships and saw the
manipulation of a partner for what it was. The victim departed those
relationships whole and intact. But the narcopath craftily subverted
all of that em paths innate discernment, slowly but surely drawing
that em path further and further into a bizarre fantasy world having
less and less resemblance to the real and actual world. A fantasy
that incorporated that victim's whole life, the entire scope of the
relationship, their own self image, and the entire vision that victim
had of their future. Yes it came as a shock to the victim when
it was revealed that most of their life was a fabricated farce. That
was difficult to process for the victim. But the information was
slowly absorbed and with time that victim began to see things clearly
and live in the real world again. However, there are always those
who insist on casting doubt into that victim's mind. Well,
dispelling doubt and seeing that narcopath as a perpetrator with
impure intentions is part of the healing process for the victim and
confusing that issue does nothing at all to aid in the healing
process. So what are some of the things these people do to create
the doubt? Well, it almost always boils down to building up the
narco paths grandeur and devaluing and minimizing the true victim.
Yes, in a sense it is a way of getting whole groups of people who
have finally understood that they were victims and calling into
question all of the progress they have made. Yes every human being
can look inside themselves and identify many areas where there is
room for improvement, but the covert narcissist abuse victim should
be very clear about the fact that the narcopath was a predator with
malevolent intentions. No, the victim didn't jump to that conclusion
easily, there was no effort on the victim's end to avoid personal
responsibility or shift blame. The narcopath themselves proved their
own evil narcissism 100 times over simply by their actions and words.
But those persisting attempts to demoralize a past
victim are usually confined to and focused on those ex partners who
decide to publicly expose narco paths. Yes, this includes people
who post on YouTube as well as posts created on any other form of
social media such as Instagram and Facebook, to name a few others.
Yes when the narc sees an ex partner putting themselves back
together and uncovering the truth of narco pathic depravity the
temptation to troll that ex is irresistible. The opportunities of
that narc themselves to garner the support of flying monkeys that
will assist in that trolling of that ex are nearly unlimited. Yes
social media opens up a whole new frontier and generates ways of
creating deception and manipulation and outright fraud in ways that
were previously unimaginable to the narcopath. But leave it to the
shrewd narcopath to always see a way of abusing, using and turning
something that could be used for good and instead degrading those
good things and using them as tools for the purpose of
evil. For the vast majority of victims, there is a different,
more insidious way in which an individual covert narcopath continues
to use and abuse their ex partners long after they have discarded
that victim. Yes that long list of people the narcopath destroyed
are an integral part of their personality and have all been
incorporated into a present day narrative. Those past associations
provide a wealth of material to be used when the narc crafts their
next fake and phony persona. One in which in every single instance
the narcopath was themselves the victim and the overcomer. One in
which those past victims have everything about themselves warped and
transformed so that in the end the description of that person and the
narrative of their actions and words bears no resemblance to the
actual person and events it is based upon. Many of those past
partners are depicted as unreasonable fools, people with mental
illness, people who are irrational and manipulative, people who are
lazy, irresponsible, lie, cheat, steal, abuse drugs or alcohol, etc.
Others of those ex partners will be turned into outright demons.
Yes the narcopath is well versed in evil and treachery so they are
experts at projecting onto past victims what they as narcopaths are
themselves. Yes the narcopath needs to go no further than themselves
for a motherload of material to use in falsely casting that ex
partner as the wrongdoer. Many a victim would be taken aback by
what they are being portrayed as when the narc is in the presence of
various people. Those stories are custom tailored to the audience,
but they all share a common thread: They are very loosely based on
the facts that the current audience is aware of. The narrative
itself, including the narco paths role in that association is almost
pure fabrication. A healed victim would simply be amused at hearing
the fiction a warped mind dedicated to treachery and deception and
specializing in smearing ex partners can create out of thin air. Of
course it isn't really thin air, since the narc uses their own
malevolence and irrational behavior and incorporates it into that
smear campaign by assigning those traits to the ex
partner. The sad thing is that the narcopath was doing this
projection all along once that partner was placed in the devaluation
phase and that narcopath was simultaneously searching for fresh
supply. Our notion of the narcopath as having a fake mask is spot
on, but we wrongly assumed that the fake personas were sequential.
Yes we assumed that each fake persona would be the entirety of the
narcopath's existence wherever they went until a next fake persona
was chosen. But that was never the case. The reality was that the
narcopath had many different fake personas all at the same time,
custom tailored to each setting. So they would be one person with
their partner and a totally different person at work or at a
community group, not to mention the phony identity they were
projecting on social sites. Yes that narcopath was already casting
their partner as an abuser long before the actual discard. The
convenient thing with these multiple fake personas is that they do
allow a narcopath to remain in a relationship for decades. The narc
remains the dutiful and devoted spouse as long as they can convince
their partner of it and has multiple affairs on the side where they
can indulge in alter egos. Yes the narcopath can tire of one of
these adulterous alter egos and then simply switch to another when
the next affair is started. Greedy narcs sometimes overstep
themselves and keep three or even more relationships going all at
once. But the point is each of these partners will require a
different and customized false mask. Yes we are describing insanity
here. That must be clear to everyone by now. Eventually life
goes on for the victim and the effects of the narco pathic abuse
gradually fade. But because the lingering effects of that past
abuse still influence huge portions of the victim's existence, the
link to the narcopath is almost impossible to erase fully until the
damage itself has been repaired. But the narcopath, who was for the
most part never effected by their own abusive and phony behavior
saves each and every one of those relationships and freely uses those
past victims over and over again when necessary. Those past victims
are used to weave the false narrative of the narcopath never having
been understood and having been in one abusive relationship after
another. Prime material to use as bait in the procurement of the
next exciting adventure with the next unwary target. But the
narcopath is displeased to no end when they are prevented from fully
owning the narrative in the event that a victim has the audacity to
set the record straight. The narc thinks it their right and privilege
to own all of the versions of what occurred in that relationship.
Yes, the covert narcissist has a copyright on pain and anyone telling
their version of those occurrences is infringing on the narc's
copyright. Yes, the narcopath has sovereignty over all of it, the
narrative of the past relationship and they even think themselves the
continued owners of that discarded victim, even if they never have
any intentions of contacting or seeing that person again. So the
narc never sleeps, never stops scheming, never stops manipulating,
never stops weaving their tales of deception that involve real actual
people but other than that are total fiction. Without a doubt, the
narc gives up on people, on commitments, on relationships, on jobs,
even on parents and siblings, but the narcissist never gives up on
their treachery and deceit. The narc never gives up on destroying
anyone they have decided is unworthy of their presence. The narc
discards but never gives up ownership of these people. People they
have gotten the better of, deceived, used, then thrown away. Yes
those people, even if the narc has discarded them need to behave in a
manner that is acceptable to the narcissist, never have a mind of
their own, and more importantly never should they dare expose the
methods of covert narcissists. Well that is just too bad for those
narco paths. They aren't God and they don't own the world. No the
narc isn't sovereign. So when one of these “vanquished”
individuals rises from the ashes and begins exposing the ways of
their evil, their methods of operation, the narcopath becomes very
annoyed. They will try every way possible to silence, to defeat, to
discourage, to intimidate. They will try anything that they can
possibly conjure up from that bag of tricks of theirs. The narc will
try to do this individually and if they can manage it, they will also
create and enlist flying monkeys to aid them in their quest of
destruction. As an individual, the narc will try threats and
intimidation. The narc will throw every wild accusation that is even
remotely feasible at that target that was once their ex partner.
When that fails, they will try a different approach and contact the
ex partner in mild humility, making subtle suggestions that maybe the
person should stop making videos. Yes, I am speaking from
personal experience and I will go into further detail of my own
actual observations. In the immediate aftermath of the discard the
narcopath found a useful idiot in her new partner, a flying monkey
ready to try and strong arm and vanquish the ex partner. But the
problem was the narcissist as well as their pet weasel, vastly
underestimated what would happen when they pushed someone to their
limit. Yes the all knowing narc never encountered a super em path
before and that new narco pathic weasel partner of hers had only the
faulty information that the narcopath fed him to go by. Yes I am
speaking from personal experience and I will not speculate on the
crazy scenario that the covert narcopath made up about me. I am sure
there were numerous different stories, depending on who her audience
was, but I am particularly interested in how she portrayed me to
those new partners of hers. Yes, no doubt that first useful idiot
was discarded once he was no longer useful. But others have come
since then. Yes there is no doubt that there is yet another new man
in that narco paths life who has been fed a version of past abuse by
numerous partners including myself custom tailored to his particular
idiosyncrasies. Possibly that man is gentler, more sophisticated,
and more refined than the weasel, or maybe he is another thug this
crazy creep seemed to be so fond of towards the end. No matter.
They are still fools for believing a word that comes out of the narco
paths mouth. Yes I will freely admit I was a fool to even believe
one word that flowed from that creep's lips. But onto the
underminers and destroyers that want to be “helpful” to the video
presenter and his audience. Let's and call them trolls as a group to
keep things simple even though that implies being judgmental and
presuming the motives of another person that we don't even know. Not
all of these people are purposeful trolls, but the effect of their
posts does every bit as much damage. So we call all of these people
trolls even though not all of them intend to be. Some of these
people are simply self-deluded, arrogant, and uninformed and
actually do think they are helping. But a person who has never
experienced narco pathic abuse is in no position whatsoever to
understand what a person that has suffered at the hands of a
narcopath goes through and is therefor unqualified to have an opinion
let alone pass judgment on genuine victims. No the victim of a
narcopath wasn't a fool who believed every world of flattery or every
lie that narcopath told. The capture of that target by the predatory
narcopath was so subtle that a person who was well versed in
psychology but never introduced to the concept of covert narcissism
could be fully deceived. Yes psychological safeguards were put in
place by some of those targets to avoid liars and deceivers.
Safeguards were put in place by the target to slowly extract
themselves and make themselves less vulnerable to a partner who was
displaying signs of treachery and disloyalty. But the narcopath cut
every one of those psychological safeguards to pieces with plausible
explanations for why they weren't able to show loyalty, love and
vulnerability like most other people do. Yes that narc was a
hardened person due to an abused childhood according to that narc's
narrative, so in many cases they got a free pass. Back to the
trolls. These trolls often try to make the point that the target was
just a naive fool who should have known better. Well anyone who
knows about covert narcissism does know better...now. These trolls
are often independent but the opportunity for the narc themselves to
get flying monkeys to assist in this trolling means that the narc can
engage in the attempted destabilization of an ex partner on a
continuing basis through third parties. Since the barrage of
naysayers and wiseguys that occasionally crawl out from under their
rocks to comment is never ending, hiding their own personal trolls in
the crowd is a relatively easy task for the covert narcissist. To
add to the mix the covert narc themselves will also take on numerous
anonymous social alter egos and continue their attempts at
demoralizing the ex as well. But when that narc has been bested and
detected too many times they eventually stop trying on their own and
focus their efforts an finding someone that can do a better job than
they can. The fabricated tale of woe and victim-hood is simply
something many members of the opposite sex can't resist. Especially
when the potential for a relationship is implied. But make no
mistake there are plenty of average people simply motivated by self
righteousness that will also be more than willing to believe that
narcopath's phony stories and be willing to help bring down a
supposed evil doer we all understand to be the genuine victim. Yes
the narc is an expert at creating flying monkeys from all walks of
life to aid and abet them. But then the narc has a masterstroke
idea that is something they never conceived of before. Yes, they
then come up with an idea that excites them to no end. They decide
to enlist their new partner in a trolling campaign. This new partner
is not the typical lowlife thug the narc gravitates to but someone
who considers themselves an intellectual and a high class
sophisticate that is wise to the ways of the world. A person who is
convinced by the narcopath that this ex partner is simply disgruntled
and making up stories about the covert narc on social sites. So this
wise intellectual partner is enlisted to do for the narc what that
narc can't do for themselves. Silence that ex partner if at all
possible, but confront using reason and logic. Confront posing as a
mild mannered humble person who “just wants to help”.
Yes most of us are well aware of the covert narcissist's
knack for getting reasonable and even possibly good people to do
their bidding and commit acts that boil down to being treacherous,
damaging, and evil. We are also all well aware of the covert narc's
addiction to capturing targets and making those targets believe they
are actually entering into and engaging in a genuine relationship.
But now the narc enters into one of their most ambitious endeavors to
date. Yes if the narc can actually introduce their new partner to
the concept of covert narcissism and deceive that new partner into
believing they are genuine and not a narcopath at all they have
achieved something never attained before. The novel idea here is
that after introducing the new partner to the concept of covert
narcissism that narc craft-fully endeavors to subtly victimize and
deceive this same new partner just as every covert narcissist does.
Convince this new partner that they are genuinely committed and love
that partner even when covert narcissism and the actual treachery
committed by this individual narcopath are clearly laid out in
videos. Yes this takes narcopathic deception to a new level. From
there on out convincing that deceived partner to do their evil
bidding while thinking they are doing good becomes a relatively easy
task. Yes that new partner will be fully convinced that every word
of every video is an absolute lie and that target might even be
convinced that the concept of covert narcissism is an overblown hoax.
That new protector is convinced of that narco paths authenticity.
That dupe hasn't a clue, even when given all of the information
needed on a silver platter, Karpman triangle references and all.
OK. Keep in mind we are not talking at all about one of
the narc's standard ploys: that of simply deceiving someone into
believing they are either interested in a relationship or actually
faking a relationship with someone to get that person to do their
bidding. What we are talking about has many more layers of
complexity and subtlety. This is treachery cleaned up, sanitized and
dressed in formal, high class attire. This is treachery that no one
even sees as treachery. Not even the perpetrator duped into
promulgating this nonsense sees it as treachery. Yes these clowns
actually think their psychobabble will convince a person into
believing nonsense which through twisted logic and reason would make
someone conclude that covert narcissism is a myth and that the
victims are all to blame for their own difficulty in recovering and
moving on. This is treachery that appears reasonable, sophisticated
and may even on its surface seem to be a genuine attempt at
“helping”, at enlightening. But the proof is in the pudding and
once we slice though all of the layers of deception, and see that all
of this “help” is really producing one result: telling the
victim it's all their fault, casting doubt on their victim status and
more importantly casting doubt on the very existence of covert
narcissism. But the giveaway is when the clowns overstep themselves
and actually blatantly imply in not so many words that the covert
narc is some sort of demigod or goddess and overtly state that this
person was so magnificent the ex partner can never get over the loss
or ever be able to recreate that experience. Of course what the
fools fail to realize is that they themselves are being deceived.
Yes these dupes doing the bidding of the covert narc may actually
believe all the nonsense they are spouting especially about the “god
like” nature of their “special” new partner. Oh yes I forgot
to mention that these commenters at least one of them, is now the
proud partner of the narcopath. But of course covert narcissism
doesn't exist and that narc is a true treasure that the fool thinks
themselves lucky to be in a relationship with. Yes they get what
they deserve, but it will be a while before the true nature of that
“treasure” reveals itself. Maybe some people like being abused
and mistreated and denigrated. If so they have found themselves the
perfect match. As for the rest of us rest assured when the fog
clears and the victim gets themselves back they have no illusions as
to the irreplaceability of the narcopath. A healed victim just has
to look around and they will see numerous people both physically and
spiritually. not to mention psychologically, far superior to the
narcopath. That narc was special to the target for one reason and
one reason alone: we chose to love them and endow them with that
importance and stature. We chose to invest ourselves into these
people and believe in them and have faith in them despite their deep
flaws. We chose to be supportive and work with what we had and
gently show these people a better way, rather than constantly
pointing out their flaws. Our failing was simply not being able to
conceive of someone who literally didn't love us or care about us at
all. No those telltale signs, the red flags that made us wonder,
weren't small things, they were the tip of an iceberg. No, that narc
wasn't a hardened person with a good heart, they were a person with
no heart using an abused past as a smokescreen. Yes a
person can be forgiven when under the spell of a narcopath while
being totally unaware of the existence of covert narcissism. But to
have everything laid out right in front of you and still be
oblivious? Well that means someone has a big problem and is under a
serious delusion. Fortunately that isn't the problem of an aware
victim. Most people, especially narc abuse victims don't enjoy
observing dysfunctional train wrecks otherwise known as modern and
evolved open relationships. The dupes have no idea how open that
relationship with the narcopath really is. Yes the dupe actually
thinks there is some degree of genuine loyalty, some genuine
commitment and love. Sorry, no there is not. So the narc abuse
victim really doesn't enjoy a person making a spectacle and a fool of
themselves. Let them enjoy the covert narc and live in their fool's
paradise. The victims simply want to be left alone and “protectors”
doing the narco paths bidding can take a hike. They will be
identified, isolated, and eliminated. They will be erased. Just as
the narcopath was erased. So what is the point of mentioning all
of this? Well part of the fabricated narrative the new dupe is
sometimes fed involves an ex partner that supposedly had nothing
going on in their lives other than the narcopath. Yes the ex made
that narcopath their whole life. They were totally dependent on the
narcopath and couldn't handle their departure, so that when the
narcopath left the ex partner lost everything. Yes, according to
that narrative that ex partner was nothing without the presence of
that narcopath in their lives. So the ex can't move on. Yes that ex
partner of the narc is an empty shell that was nothing before the
narc arrived into their lives and is once again nothing now that the
narcopath has departed. There is no doubt that is only
one of the themes of that carefully crafted fake narrative presented
to the dupe. But the main thing is that narrative totally
legitimizes the narcopath even in the face of all of the videos made
by her ex. Yes what a clever stroke of that narco paths imagination.
The narc can have their Karpman triangle right in the face of a
Karpman triangle video. But this triangle is artistic, subtler, more
covert, more refined. But in it's own way this more covert way of
dealing with things is also much more sinister. Yes the dupe is all
in, and they and the narc are both on the same page. Subtle
subterfuge. Intellectual and philosophical warfare. But when you
boil it all down it is still all of the same game playing. Immature
and foolish deception and posturing with the appearance of reason and
logic, presented with pseudo-scientific intellectualistic language.
The same old garbage dressed up to look different. In my case, at
least the narc's first weasel partner who was used to cruelly
triangulate was unsophisticated enough to not be able to help
himself. That weasel's self deluded sense of greatness and personal
narcissism could be seen a mile away. But we aren't talking about
that type of overt aggression designed to destroy. Yes this attack
is more “covert”, but with all of the same malevolence, only
having the surface appearance of humility. Yes this new
strategy is to appear humble. Speak gently with deference. But then
provide links to so called “helpful” videos designed to begin
playing at a sentence that gives the real message intended. Clever.
Covert. Wicked. The same goes with the so called “helpful”
advice to victims of covert narcissist abuse that ends up creating
confusion and making the victim once again question themselves and
think themselves the ones that bear much if not all of the
responsibility for the narcopath abusing and eventually leaving. Yes
that so called “help”, when analyzed gives these creeps away and
shows them to be the phonies that they are. Sadly you can never have
a clear and open conversation, a fruitful exchange of ideas that
both parties can learn and benefit from with a narcopath. It's all
about winning at a game of deception for the narcopath, and that is
the other “tell” that separates a well meaning person with
incorrect information seeking a conversation from a disruptor with
the intent of destroying, of demoralizing, of confusing, of
silencing. So the new narrative used against a covert
narcissist abuse victim is that they made the narcopath “their
whole lives” and that is why they couldn't get over it when the
narcopath departed. Well that could make sense, if it were true.
That could make sense, but the problem is that covert narcissism
actually exists and that victim can't get over the situation because
of severe psychological and emotional abuse. Covert narcissism is
real, not a myth. Yes there are actually people in the world
dedicated to lying and deceit. People who don't have a conscience or
remorse. People who discard and weave false narratives of abuse
simply to suit their own needs and desires. Yes people who create
accounts of abuse and terrible intolerable behavior that is
fabricated out of thin air. No abuse whatsoever actually occurred.
On the contrary, the discarded partner, the so called abuser was
supportive, kind, complimentary, compassionate, and appreciative.
The so called abuser was the one who was actually being terribly
abused and lied to on a daily basis. The so called abuser was being
ground down and sucked dry of every ounce of their lifeforce. But
the narcopath twisted everything and projected all of the abuse
originating from themselves onto the ex partner, the actual victim of
abuse. But what about that accusation of making the
narcopath not the center of their lives, but “their whole life”?
Well once again a small amount of actual fact is mixed in with a
huge deception, cobbled together, then presented as the truth. Make
no mistake, the covert narcissist's goal was to enslave their target
and make that target totally dependent on them. Yes that narcopath
wanted the em path or self love deficient person or codependent to
make them not just the center of their lives, but “their whole
life”. However if that target ever actually did make that
narcopath “their whole life”, it was not because of any
deficiencies in themselves, it was because the narcopath never gave
up until finally they got it all their way and made themselves that
target's whole life. The very point of all of the narcissist's lies,
the gaslighting, the future faking was to fully and totally
manipulate and control another human being. Yes if the narc had
their way they would have precisely what was described: a person who
made them their whole life. No, not just the center of their lives,
but their whole life. It should be stated clearly again: If such a
poor soul exists they were purposefully made that way by the
narcopath, not because of their own deficiencies and dysfunctional
need to focus their whole life on someone else. But how easy it is
to twist everything and once again blame the victim. The irony and
the wickedness of it all is that once the narc has created this so
called mind numbed robot they actually use the result of all of their
abuse as the reason for them to discard that self same victim. Yes
that is the definition of evil, of incredibly depraved indifference,
wickedness and cruelty. This is possible for the covert narcissist
because they don't see anyone else as an actual human being, the
narco paths victims are dehumanized and are simply seen as appliances
for the narcopath to use. But the narcopath is never done. They
now enlist others and tell them of that target's “issues”. Yes
that target is still dwelling on covert narcissism and continues to
recount the details of abuse in that relationship in videos they are
making. But of course the narcopath being under the impression that
they have ownership of a previous target couldn't possibly allow that
person to have sovereignty over their own lives, so the narc enlists
their new soul mate, or new best friend or any other person they can
convince into being a flying monkey, in to handle a lingering
“problem” they have. Yes the new dupe will now be helpful and
try to point out to the target that they have a huge problem. Yes
the victim of a covert narcissist is now told all of their problems
that arose from the relationship with a covert narcissist are their
fault and their fault alone. Never is there any allusion whatsoever
to the narcopath having any problems at all. No, those lies, the
deception, the gaslighting, the cycle of flattery, mirroring
idealization, followed by the honeymoon period and the devaluation
and sudden discard are a mere coincidence. Maybe those events never
even occurred, are even outright lies. The target is severely
deluded. Covert narcissism is a myth, or at least their
interpretation of their ex as having been a covert narcissist is
faulty. Yes that ex partner, the actual victim is the one with all
of the problems. The victim is the one lying, making up stories, and
fabricating the scenarios of that relationship out of thin air.
Isn't that cute. The foolishness of these clowns is unimaginable.
Yes the accounts of someone who lived something, actually witnessed
it all, and was the actual victim of those events doesn't know what
he is talking about, but a third party who was never even present is
going by the “accurate” accounts of a covert narcissist, a proven
liar one hundred times over, and presenting themselves as an
authority on those events. You have to give it to
those covert narcissists. This is an absolute master stroke. Their
crowning achievement. The narc achieves the near impossible: they
create a dupe, a clown that fully believes all of their lies and
never questions. Even when given all of the information about how
covert narcissists lie and deceive and manipulate their targets.
Even when numerous details of what is actually going on inside the
warped head of that narcopath are presented to them clearly. Even
after having most of the details of the abuse that the individual
narcopath perpetrated clearly described right in front of their eyes.
Well maybe some narcopaths do finally find their lap dog. Good for
them. But that is of no concern or interest to the victims. What
is of concern is when these fools spew garbage and misinformation and
use the age old technique of projection, actually putting all of the
blame and abuse squarely on the shoulders of the genuine victim. Yes
the narcopath is the sane one and needs to change nothing. They were
the victim. Yes the person victimized by the narcopath is presented
as the one who needs to work on themselves and change. Well
here is the narco paths problem: Their lies and manipulations are
now clearly visible. Those victims are now living in the world of
reality where black is black, white is white, up is up, and down is
down. No more floating in outer space or drifting in a fog.
Reality bites but only those who refuse to acknowledge it.
So here is the reality: Most victims did love that
narcopath and make that person their highest priority and even the
center of their lives. That is a function of love. But to say that
narc was the target's whole life is a vast over reach. Most of those
targets did have many interests in art, in nature, in science, things
that attracted the narcopath in the first place. But just because a
partner becomes the focus of our attention, our highest priority as
is appropriate when a person genuinely loves another human being does
not at all add up to that partner being “someone's whole life”.
So when an anon wants to give “helpful” advice about not making
someone “your whole life” it is immediately seen for the nonsense
that it is. At least for me. But even for those who were conned and
manipulated into making a narcopath their whole lives, how dare
someone even suggest that those people are to blame for that. That
qualifies as kicking someone, even psychologically abusing someone
when they are already down. Yes, that anon referred to
with all of the “helpful” comments is real. All of the events
recounted in my relationship with the narcopath are true to the best
of my recollection. All of the interactions with that narco paths
first new partner, the weasel that was her partner right after the
discard are real. No they aren't fabrications, they are raw facts of
the harsh and cruel reality that every covert narcissist abuse victim
has to deal with long after that creep is done with them. So it
becomes clear that the narcopath did everything in their power to
break down the victim and eliminate all of their interests, leaving
themselves as the only thing remaining in the victim's life. But
that was by the covert narcissist's design. When the narc's strategy
doesn't work and they see that the victim doesn't give everything up,
that is called disloyalty or inattentiveness displayed by the victim.
When the target refuses to be manipulated, that is called showing a
lack of love by the narcopath, or being difficult. Ironically, the
narc will often accuse someone of being manipulative when that person
refuses to be manipulated. So in the end the narc moves on and
gives up when they realize that person will never become a slave.
The excuse being that the person was never serious about the
relationship, never really loved the narcopath and had never been
loyal. Sadly, those who do give in to the narcopath eventually
suffer the very same fate. Only in that case the narc makes the
argument that the person had no life and made them their whole lives.
No, you will never be able to win with a narcissist. They will
always have an excuse for what we all now know is obvious: the narc
does what they want to do due to pure selfishness, regardless of the
cost to others. Yes the narc always wins and that game goes on
long after the discard. The narc never sleeps or stops scheming or
re-purposing. The narc never stops trying to erode everything and
everyone they come in contact with, even past partners. Day in day
out. Until the end of their days. But in reality they have eroded
themselves. The targets that were victimized are used as trophies
and dusted off every now and then when the narc sees something that
is useful to them in their present. A quality, a talent, a like or
dislike of those former exes can always be plagiarized and used by
the narc for their own fake persona. An ex partner making videos can
still be targeted for abuse either directly or indirectly through
third parties. The common theme is always the same: The narcopath
dehumanizes and uses people. They do this before, during, and even
long after they have used and abused these ex partners. Only the
outward appearance and actions and words of the narc seem to indicate
they change their attitude. But rest assured it's always the same
for the narcopath. It's all about them and them alone. They are
always the victim. They are never wrong. They are never to blame.
But oh how proud they are of all of the people they bested and
destroyed and there amazing ability to erode and degrade everything
until it is nearly useless. That is what gives those creeps self
worth and self esteem. Sick. Thank you for watching.
Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you. Ending commentary:
The power of relying on God's advice as given in the Bible can not be
overstated. We rarely understand that advice at the time, but if we
follow it we see the benefits and wisdom of that advice eventually.
God doesn't need to be told what the narcopath did to you. He is
well aware of the situation. God doesn't need your advice on what
should happen to the narcopath, what their punishment should be. God
doesn't need your help in punishing that narcopath. God told you
what to do: stay out of His way, He would take care of the
situation. Any attempt at “informing” God of what we think He
isn't aware of , any attempt at “helping” God means that we think
we know better than God, means that we believe our solution to the
problem is superior to that of God's. Yes that narc may not suffer
or pay for what they did to us and we won't be able to understand why
that was allowed. Yes God does allow the wicked to prosper and the
Bible makes it very clear that God is aware of the frustration that
causes those victims. He understands the pain, the rage and your
longing to see justice. But God is in control. He has this.
