Freedom After Narcissistic Abuse: Where Do You Go From Here? Five Key Points So you are free of the narc, or so you think. Recurring nightmares with the narc causing you distress are still there, but you only realize that when you wake up in the middle of the night with the nightmare fresh on your mind. The dream shows you the extent of the psychological damage the narc did in your life. It gives you insight into your subconscious. Goodness knows how many of these dreams go on that you aren't aware of. The subconscious is far from having fully processed the trauma you think is no longer an issue. The dream sets up a scenario where you are totally dependent upon the narc, trust them implicitly to follow through in an acute time of need, and then they walk away, with you left totally vulnerable and unable to handle the situation alone. At least that was my scenario. The repair process is still at work in your mind, maybe it's a blessing you aren't consciously aware of most of it. But what is it that you can do to help the process? Here are some of the things I have found helped me and I hope this benefits others. First and foremost, take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Be as good to yourself as you can be. Getting adequate and extra sleep is critical for the mind to repair itself as the above dream illustration just highlighted. If you are tired, your ability to handle past stress that still has its grip on you and immediate stress that requires immediate attention goes down dramatically. If you are constantly tired your judgment on your future also gets clouded. You need rest and peace in your life. Why not give the subconscious the time it needs by getting adequate and extra sleep? Second: You need to eat right and not overindulge in junk food. Use these foods sparingly to give yourself a break, but see them for what they are: no different than a cigarette. Sugar and other processed foods can be addictive and overeating in general isn't conducive to clear thinking. Not eating or not getting yourself on a routine meal schedule can also wreak havoc on the psyche. Right now you need to have as clear a thinking process as possible. You need to restore as much physical and mental and emotional stability in your life as possible. You have wounds, they aren't visible to the outside world and they aren't even visible to you, only your subconscious is fully aware of the damage and is working on your repair. So why not help out your subconscious and supply it with proper fuel, in the form of food. The best fuel you can get, the highest quality fuel. This isn't necessarily more expensive than the less healthy alternatives. Nutrition is not the focus of this video, so we will move on (hint: think fruits, vegetables and adequate amounts of meat, not prepackaged foods). Third: Limit your exposure to addictive social media and other forms of web and smart phone activities. These activities are just as harmful as drugs and alcohol in the sense that they create an instability and unnatural dependence on unwholesome things in your life. The added danger of these social sites is that they can be a force for good, but this then provides a cover for those abusing these sites and NOT using them for their own advantage or that of society. For example: yes, on the outside Instagram may seem like it is benign, but when you see how some have abused it, you may understand that it has actually ruined good people and good relationships and totally destroyed people's lives. Fourth: in addition to limiting phone and web use, don't add extra stress to your life. You are in no shape to make rational decisions about your present or future. This is a time to hold onto all of the good things that are still present in your life. You have already been forced to make major changes by the necessity of filling in the hole the narc blew into your life. Fifth: use whatever free time you have to be productive. Do things that your heart is telling you to do, POSITIVE things. These videos are my way of doing that and I sincerely hope they are of benefit. Focus your pain and suffering into whatever productive activity your heart is telling you to engage in. For the Christian believer, this means focusing on the Holy Spirit which dwells inside of every believer and being attentive to what the Spirit is telling you. Jesus talks about the Holy Spirit, in John 14: 15 to 17: 15: If yee love me, keep my commandments. 16: And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; 17: Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but yee know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. More information on the Holy Spirit: John 14: 25 and 26: 25:These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. 26: But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things... Doing God's will is critical for further repair. God sees your needs and is working on a solution to all of your problems, only you can prevent God from helping you by getting in His way. Be still and know that I am God as stated in Psalm 46 10. Spend time with God whenever you can, whether it be in the morning or any other time that is convenient. You should remove all of the cares of the world and just LISTEN. Lets be clear, we aren't talking about an audible voice, we are just allowing the conscious mind to relax and absorb whatever calm and peace and guidance that is available in our environment. God will work through your subconscious or simply provide you with peace in the form of assurance. Being positive is critical and focusing on the word of God, the Bible, and the glorious promises it makes for the believer can do a lot to take your mind off of your present situation and give you an attitude of hope and optimism. Remember, Jesus didn't make any promises He couldn't keep. He put his actions where His mouth was. When Jesus says that death is not the end and that you can have eternal life as a believer, He proved He knew what He was talking about. He did this by raising others from the dead and He himself rose from the dead. You do realize that is the reason for celebrating Easter? You do realize this is the reason for having hope, LEGITIMATE HOPE, and the proof that Jesus is the REAL THING? The ONLY real thing, as Jesus stated in John 14 6: “I am the way the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me”. That's a pretty strong assertion for someone to make. Think about that, you people who have devoted your life to a cause without scrutinizing exactly what these people you idolize are actually doing to help animals or humanity. You reject Jesus, who proved Himself, and you devote your time and energy to an easily provable fraud, simply because it is trendy, famous people back it, and it makes you feel good about yourself, because that is the type of person you want to be. Good luck with that. Those who are mystified and baffled by Christianity, have a good day, and peace be with you. The rest of this video will require a willingness to believe what Jesus said, and even His disciples were confused and needed Jesus to clarify. Let's continue on in John 14 since it really provides a lot of answers that the unbeliever has a hard time understanding . John 14 takes place before the crucifixion and the disciples were totally unaware of what was about to happen. Jesus, of course, knew the future in full detail. John 14 verses 18 to 21: 18: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. 19: Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but yee see me: because I live, yee shall live also. 20: At that day yee shall know that I am in my Father, and yee in me, and I in you. 21: He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. This is Jesus talking about physical death, eternal life, the Holy Spirit, and He clearly states that if you love God, He will reveal Himself to you, a true believer, and manifest in the believer's life. So to those who think it is crazy to be listening to God and hearing His voice and receiving guidance from God and seeing the presence of God in your life, here is your answer as to why YOU, the unbeliever, consider this nonsense: John 14: 22 to 23: 22: Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world? 23: Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. Here Jesus is clarifying the confusion by stating things more clearly to Judas (not the Judas who betrayed Him). There is a part of God, the Holy Spirit, that will live inside of a believer, referred to as “he who keeps my words”. Here is the KEY: God will be invisible and undetectable to “the world”, otherwise known as unbelievers. Do you get it? Do you, the unbeliever understand that is why you don't see the presence of God in your life and don't believe it when others say they do see God in their lives? Remember what was just stated in the question asked above: How is it that the believer will see God manifest in their lives and the world won't see this? Unbelievers will NOT see or believe. Jesus also describes the unbeliever in John 14: 24: He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which yee hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me... And finally an explanation as to why the unbeliever sees this all as nonsense: 1 Corinthians 2:14 “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” Here is the second key point:, the unbeliever will not understand. Do you get it? The unbeliever won't one: see God, and two: won't understand the wisdom of God. Thank you as always for watching, your comments are welcomed.

Assessing your Progress on the Road to Recovery from Narc Abuse You have struggled to “get yourself back” by learning as much as possible about narcissism and you have pulled yourself out of the darkest time of your life, but the fight seems never ending and it is easy to lose heart, especially when you have bouts of PTSD and all of the sudden after so many months you are back in the doldrums. Back to being hopeless, back to being angry and resentful, back to focusing on the fact that you are alone and in pain, while the narc and her new intimate partner go on seemingly unaffected and are able to get away with their arrogant, haughty gloating. At this time, it may be necessary to take yourself off the hook, give yourself a break, and take a breather. This is the time to make a true assessment of your current situation and compare it to where you started from. You never got any straight answers from the narc, so you should at least be at a point where you have accepted the fact that you will never know the truth of what is going on with that person or what their true intentions were. That is progress. Yes, you are still angry, but the anger no longer grips you. You have told yourself and continue to tell yourself “vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord” and this has been very effective, you are able to accept the abuse you received and are able to leave it in God's hands. That is more progress. You are no longer interested in what is happening with the narc, you have granted her the wish of getting away with the damage and pain she has caused without having to take any blame or be accountable. You are out of her life totally and she is off the hook and will never have to face any scrutiny or answer any questions. She is free to pursue her new relationship without any complications, like having to explain why she was disloyal and never lived up to the commitments she made, progress. You still get really down, because you think to yourself you should be the one in a relationship and happy and she should be the one that is miserable and alone. Yes, your long-term prospects for happiness are far greater than the narc's, but that is not the case at present and you do have concerns that the narc will never have to pay for their evil behavior. Remember that is not your concern. But then comes the most important thing you need to focus on. You have been so caught up in the struggle for the last few months, you have not fully appreciated all of the blessings that have been brought into your life, so now is the perfect time to focus on all of the good things that have happened to you. So start counting your blessings. As an example for you, I will count my blessings, and hopefully this can be of benefit to you in doing the same for yourself. First of all, I am still alive and breathing, and my head is once again screwed on straight and I am thinking clearly again. No doubt I have a long way to go and it wouldn't take much for a major setback, but at least for the moment I am at peace, and I have periods of joy. Then I have to look at all of the miracles of the last few months. It is nothing short of miraculous that every person that was taken from my life, every person that I depended on has been replaced with someone new that I never knew before. People who are supportive and positive and a pleasure to work with now surround me and they have played a major role in my healing process. Without these people, I might not be standing here today. I am now healed to the point that I can actually make good, rational decisions. The narc was removed from my life in a sequence of events that could never be considered random coincidence and these wonderful people were brought to me in the same way. The presence of GOD'S hand in my life and the evidence of miracles is all over the occurrences of the past few months. God has protected me, guided me, and allowed me the opportunity to heal. Information was given to me about my narc partner that shocked me to my core. That information, in addition to the terrible, cruel, calloused behavior of the narc, the hideous and evil part of the narc's personality that was totally hidden from me, has now fully been illuminated for me, and boy, did I dodge a bullet. Nothing short of miraculous. No, I don't have a partner yet, and I am not really ready for a relationship, but there is an optimism and drive inside of me and somehow I am certain that the last thing I lost, a partner to share my life with, will be restored with someone much better. Someone more beautiful, with a true capacity for love and empathy and a true loyalty and commitment to me. A person that will put their hand in mine, smile at me, give me their heart, tell me they love me and really mean it. So I am optimistic, but VERY cautiously so. I am also acutely aware, that in this time of opportunity and change in my life, I have to make very important and sober decisions that will effect the rest of my life. I know that with the promise of the life that I always wanted comes the danger of losing everything. My goals and my drive are being motivated by a strong inner sense that I have been given of God's will and presence in my life. In other words, I can feel God's presence and will in my life and I have to follow that will very precisely for things to work. Because I have been given FAITH , I have a supernatural optimism and hope that things will work out for me. You could say that I “know” things will work out, if I keep the faith. So, when I compare where I am today with where I was a few short months ago the progress I have made is remarkable. There is still a long way to go, but at the moment, I can just rest and be thankful and truly appreciate where I am right now. It's my sincerest hope that all that watch are helped by the words of this video and that all who listen, come to find peace and joy and their path out of the dark and hopeless world that the narcissist surrounded them with. Peace be with you. May your heart be filled with the assurance that life will once again be vibrant and worth living. Thank you for watching, your comments are welcomed.

The Nature of reality, A Christian Perspective: What Can Humans Know? Metaphysics, Theosophy, and many Eastern religions make a science of religion and give the impression that everything is potentially knowable by a mere human being. So the question is: can Humans know all there is about human existence, the world, the universe or even begin to grasp the concept of God? The answer, to the honest and sober observer to all of the questions is NO. Don't tell this to the mystics and seekers who see Christianity as just a quaint, old fashioned religion that has long ago been replaced by a high tech spirituality incorporating ALL religions and is therefore ENLIGHTENED. Sort of like an iPhone compared to the first telephone. If you want answers to all of the mysteries of life and the universe and even God, they will be given to you by those willing to give you answers, but how reliable is the source of these answers? By what authority are the answers being given? Is the source a near death experience, a mystic, a psychic, a seer, an astral traveler, a prophet? Well, that is your good pleasure if you want to believe, but how far are you willing to go to check out your sources and see how reliable they really are? For most people, not far. The belief that you can have special knowledge and know the mysteries of the universe is quite attractive and it can even be addictive to some people. But are these people really more aware than the average person or more deluded? Take it from someone who spent over ten years of his life as a “seeker”, the end result of all of your studies and knowledge and checking things out is a person who thinks they know the mysteries and is well on their way to total enlightenment, but they are really deluded. This mystical person's natural mindset is that of a drunken person compared to the non-spiritual person. Christianity does just the opposite. It places no emphasis on the know-ability of the Universe and human existence or the enlightenment of the individual aside from what the Bible teaches. The wisdom is IN the word of God and can only be absorbed, processed and then REFLECTED by the believer. The result is just the opposite of the “mystic” religions, a person that becomes MORE SOBER than the average human. Yes, the unbelievers are now seen as “drunk” in their natural thought process relative to the Christian believer. They are drunk with the lies and deceit that this world offers. The lies of the importance of humanity and that man is the final arbiter of what is right and wrong. So with that in mind, let's try to answer the BIG question to the extent that the Bible governs the answer. Trying to answer this question without the Bible is bald-faced arrogance and foolishness to the Christian. So, let's try to answer the question of what reality is, or more specifically, define reality in terms that humans can reasonably know and understand. Observable reality can be put into two general categories: One: The physical, which ranges from a grain of rice in the palm of your hand to a distant galaxy: matter or material things and the environment that surrounds these things. In other words, the universe and all it contains. Two: The events that occur in the physical environment as time goes on, otherwise known as the past, present, and future. These two comprise the measurable and scientifically observable aspects of reality- you might call them the VISIBLE part of reality. There is no debate when it comes to this part of reality, but there are other aspects of reality that aren't measurable and they can be called the INVISIBLE part of reality. The invisible part of reality, is not observable or measurable and can't be verified, so FAITH is required when dealing with the invisible. People can then debate who's invisible reality is true and who's is false. Let's divide this Invisible reality into two categories also. One: The Invisible reality as described by the Bible and Two: The Invisible reality described by everyone else. Please note, this is from a Christian perspective, so I am categorizing with that in mind. Some of these invisible parts of reality may one day be uncovered when science and knowledge increase, so that something such as telepathy, out of body experiences, and seeing auras can actually be measured and detected and studied. Even if these metaphysical activities do exist and become measurable, the question can still be posed are they Godly or considered a form of witchcraft? That is not the focus of this discussion, so we will move on. The invisible part of reality for the Christian is God, the heavenly realms and the various entities that occupy this environment. The Christian's source for his belief in this invisible reality is the Bible as well as his faith and the evidence of God in his own life as a believer. The Bible makes both the invisible reality of heaven and the nature of the one and only God comprehensible to mere humans. In other words, the Bible limits the information given about this invisible reality to what a human can understand. This invisible reality might be another dimension or something simply not comprehensible or definable in human terms. To a Christian this human existence is “not where it's at”. Our human existence is no doubt 100 percent real, but the invisible heavenly realm is, if it makes any sense, “more real” than our earthly existence. That invisible world is certainly more permanent and it is eternal, compared to the physical reality we see every day. Our hope, as believers, is to be fortunate enough to share in this unimaginable glorious existence when we leave this earth. So, that is a simplified, not comprehensive, version of what reality is. Observable reality is simply time and space and matter and the events that occur as they interact. So what is the practical use of discussing reality? Reality is the foundation of TRUTH. Reality doesn't change and truth doesn't change and therefore people should value truth and be dedicated to and aware of the truth and honor it in their daily lives. Truth is the essence of and foundation for clear thinking. No one human has the truth, we all have flawed memories and we all can only see the physical environment from our individual, limited point of view. Humans are limited by there physical senses, their intelligence, their intuition, their emotional capabilities, as well as their preconceived ideas, or “dogmas” that they refuse to let go of. We are all dishonest with ourselves and others to one extent or another and of course we need to be aware that truth is immutable and our version of the truth is flawed. This attitude is the basis of all of the accomplishments and achievements of the human race. It is only when people clung to a lie and insisted upon it being real that progress was impeded, and yes sometimes the church, which should have been an ambassador of the truth , became truth's enemy (see Copernicus). In short, functional people as well as functional and healthy societies can only make progress proportional to their dedication to the truth. Lies impede progress in both people and societies. So why do people and societies cling to their lies? That is because the “father of lies” has been allowed a short reign in this fallen and broken world. We are talking about the Devil or Satan. That is the world we now live in. So let's briefly think about the so-called reality of our present day world, American society, and even the so-called reality of individuals. Is what you are told by the media real? Have you ever really examined it? Is political correctness dedicated to the truth- or a lie? Is man made global warming the threat you are told it is? The scientists agree on man made global warming don't they? Think about what questions are being asked of these scientists, how the answers to the questions are being interpreted and how the answers are being made to agree with a preconceived conclusion. Who do these scientists depend on for their livelihood and what would happen if they expressed descent? These are just some safer illustrations of the lies and deceit going on in our present world. So what harsh truths does the world not want to hear? They are too numerous to count, but here is a big one. God created this world and the people on it for His purposes. God is sovereign and in control of the world and every Human being on it. God's opinion as expressed in the Bible- NOT men's opinions of what the Bible says, but the accurate interpretation of the Bible, is TRUTH. ANY OPINION or ATTITUDE that contradicts the Bible is a lie and carries all of the baggage that lies bring with them. So here is the takeaway: You are being told that those people that hold to the Bible and Christianity are an impediment to progress. That our present day society has progressed and is “enlightened”. We are living in an age when the lie is presented as the truth and the truth as a lie. You could say that in our day mankind in general and people in specific are their own “gods”, being the ultimate arbiters of what is right and wrong. They are of the opinion man created god, sounds foolish but it really is their attitude whether they are conscious of it or not. So think about this: TRUTH is the path to progress, lies IMPEDE progress. Do you get it? Our present day “progress” is not progress at all because it's essence and foundation is a lie. The Bible foretold of this situation occurring in the last days. Are we there yet? Only God knows. The only reason God is still allowing Satan- “the father of lies” reign is because God is not yet finished with His purpose for this earth. God will end this earth when there is no more value in allowing the wickedness and sin to prosper, probably when no more people on earth are redeemable, but that is only a guess. Remember: our stay in this broken, fallen, sinful, imperfect world is temporary, and if you are a true believer in Jesus, hold on and have FAITH. An unimaginably glorious eternal existence awaits you in heaven. May you be filled with peace, love and joy and may the Lord richly bless you and bring you enlightenment. Thank you as always for watching, comments are welcome.

The Narcissist and their Fantasy World: If They Could Only Keep it to Themselves Just about all of the great achievements of humanity started out in a person's mind and imagination. These achievements can be in art or science, in inventions, in social ideas, the list goes on. To give a few examples, the United States was an idea before it came into existence, music, sculpture and paintings are all conceived in the mind first. On a personal level, we all have hopes and dreams and plans for the future. We might want to own a yacht in our mind or be president of the United States, but most of us are aware that these thoughts are just a fantasy, “mind candy” if you want to call it that. Most people can usually tell the difference between PRACTICAL and IMPRACTICAL thoughts that occur in the mind and use their minds efficiently by putting almost all of their efforts into one: meeting their every day responsibilities, and two: making reasonable plans to move forward with life. These reasonable plans and expectations will always need to be governed by an honest assessment of your own capabilities and resources. In addition, those expectations are governed by the harsh fact that we are just one of many humans on this earth, no more or less important than the next person. The world does not revolve around or conform itself to the wishes of one person, the person has to conform to the world, a fact that the narc refuses to acknowledge. To put it another way, no matter how intense our “flights of fancy”, as we mature as adults we are able to intuitively understand that our dreams need to be in line with our capabilities and resources. To give an absurd example, in their mind a person may have the opinion they are able to fly, but in reality, they know they can't fly and wouldn't be foolish enough to jump off of a bridge. It is only when this imaginary mind, the source of all of the good and great things in this world, takes control and asserts itself that people become dysfunctional. So the person who really believes they can fly, or really believes they are president, or is a yacht owner or a millionaire, has taken a short cut and just decided that their imagination doesn't need to be governed by the reality of the world. This is considered mental illness, especially when it results in the person harming themselves or others. Why not just eliminate the middle man (otherwise known as the real world) and make your fantasy world YOUR reality. No one can tell you you aren't a millionaire, or the president, or that you can't fly, you have every right to believe these things. No one has the right to try to convince you that your assertions aren't true. This is the flawed, warped logic and reasoning of the mentally ill. So how does relate to the narcissist? Well, the narc doesn't live in the extreme outward fantasies, just described. The narc is much more subtle. The narc's fantasy existence appears plausible and realistic and reasonable, but it is no less a fantasy that the extreme cases mentioned above. That makes these fantasies extremely dangerous to the people unfortunate enough to be sucked into them. The narc's damage to themselves and others is COVERT, and undetectable to most in the outside world and to themselves, only the victim that has been used as a player in one of the narc's fantasy scenarios and then realized he was not in real situation is aware of the narc's illness. The narc is hurting themselves and very severely harming others, but this is done in the most deceptive and crafty way and the narc has made a high art of extracting himself out of the problems he causes and coming out appearing to be the victim. The sad thing is that the narc convinces himself that he really is the victim, doesn't learn and then repeats the process multiple times throughout his existence, leaving a long line of actual victims in his wake. The narc intuitively chooses people and scenarios that he can gain control over and easily conceal. So a wife, for example, could choose a quick, ongoing fling with a mailman, knowing that this relationship could easily be covered up. Or if a daily encounter with a stay- at home dad arises, again there is opportunity. The narc can conceal all of these relationships and if the flings involve a married man, all the better. The narc can end these relationships undetected and all partners will benefit from denying the relationships ever existed. So, what is the problem with the narc? The narc is always indulging in and living in a fantasy world. The real life he lives is simply an act he puts on, a persona he creates, and those around him exist to provide him with narcissistic supply in the form of attention and energy. In addition, the narc is continually indulging in and conceiving additional fantasies in his mind, since even the artificial reality he creates and deceives others into entering isn't enough to satisfy him. The narc is never satisfied, because the unreal fantasy existence he creates can't satisfy in the way real life does for people who actually have the ability to appreciate real life, real relationships and have the capacity for genuine love and joy. The narc's artificial reality can't satisfy, so the narc is compelled to engage in even more mental fantasies. The problem lies in the fact that others have to be involved with the narc's fantasy world and then are destroyed by the narc as he manipulates, gaslights and otherwise distorts the realities of his victims. Normal people engage in fantasies also, but they at least have the courtesy to not expect others to take part in these fantasies and at least they see these fantasies for what they are: not real. A normal person does have dreams and plans, but they are at least more realistically achieved and the normal person is at least living in a real world, where he is not the center of the universe and not more entitled or more accomplished that those around him. Thank you as always for watching. Your comments are welcomed.

THE CHRISTIAN WARRIOR The modern day stereotype of a “warrior” is a fantasy creation of video game players and “meme” creators made up by people who have never been in real hand to hand combat (other than in their video games, or fantasy Anime world). The modern-day , warped concept of a warrior is someone who is dark, ominous,unpredictable, someone to be feared and respected because they are feared. This concept is PURE NONSENSE. Let's take a look at what God says about going into battle. God's warrior is humble, placing all trust in God, giving God the glory, and relying on God's power to make the difference, not his own. Think of David and Goliath, David's FAITH is what won that battle, God provided the victory. God's warrior is Light (not dark), accessible, mild, humble, and reluctant to go into battle, he “trains” daily, by teaching himself to listen for and do God's will. Let's take a look at the Christian warrior : Ephesians 6:13-18:

“Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints” The enemies are the “forces of darkness” the armour is in general DEFENSIVE in use, the sword is simply God's word, which cuts through evil, deceit, duplicity, and lies among other weapons of the Devil. There is nothing ominous or dangerous about the warrior of God. He is a force for good and never to be feared. Respect for the Christian warrior is a non-issue, the glory goes to God, with the warrior being a mere servant. “Praying in the Spirit” means always staying in tune with God's will, not your own.

The 9 Stages of Covert Narcissist Abuse Recovery: One Person's Perspective (account de-personalized to protect the Narcissistic abuser): Please Note: This is the relationship from the victim's point of view: Initial situation: The abuse victim has been in a relationship which has lasted over 3 years and has made himself totally vulnerable. The victim has planned all of his future with the needs and desires of his narc partner being of primary importance. The victim has NEVER heard of Covert narcissism and can't conceive of this type of person even existing. He trusts his partner implicitly. He is certainly aware that the partner sometimes embellishes stories and has caught the partner in lies that they refuse to admit to, the victim attributes this to “ no one is perfect”. The victim sometimes can't understand the narc's occasional apparent callousness, subtle, but obvious shifting of their loyalty away from the relationship, and apparent lack of empathy in situations that any normal human being would be concerned and offer support, let alone an intimate partner. Any concerns brought up to the narc are easily explained away by the narc and the victim, being 100 percent committed to the relationship, is eager to believe the explanations. Occasional arguments with the narc do puzzle the victim, because there are often no logical reasons for the arguments and there is never any gain or resolution from the arguments. These arguments simply serve to disturb the peace of the relationship. Pain with no gain or actual regression. What is the point? When trying to actually have meaningful discussions that may resolve problems in the relationship, the victim somehow never gets anywhere with the narc and subconsciously does get frustrated. The victim tries every method possible to move the relationship forward and forge solid plans for the future, but the narc is constantly shifting their views and modifying past conversations to make them mean something different than was actually intended. Even worse the narc subtly changes statements the victim has made in the past, changing the meaning and intent of what was said by the victim. In addition, the narc sometimes presents themselves as an authority on a subject they don't understand, and the victim has long ago learned NEVER to tell the narc “you don't know what you are talking about”. Lastly, the narc sometimes uses reasoning and logic in incoherent ways, almost as if they don't integrate their thoughts or have a core belief system that they rely on for decision making, viewing the world, and learning from life. One example of this is that the narc will tie together two unrelated things, making one event the cause and the other, unrelated event the effect, then tie these two events to a nonsensical conclusion that furthers an argument or an agenda that the narc is trying to achieve. I guess to simplify things the narc seeks an outcome or conclusion FIRST, then warps reasoning and actual events into a reality that supports that nonsensical conclusion. The narc literally wants to be in control of reality- the reality of the past, the present and the future, and this is one method of changing the past and immediate present. More frustration and more items on the list of things to resolve for the victim who is serious about having a deep, meaningful, healthy, joyful, satisfying relationship with the narc. The victim always has hope that it's only a matter of time before he can finally understand the narc and give them what they need so that the relationship can move forward and truly be healthy, functional and satisfying. The victim is totally vulnerable, totally in love with, and totally devoted to the narc partner. The victim believes in and trusts the narc 100 percent and has total Faith in their narc partner. The narc in turn always re-emphasizes their love, commitment and loyalty to their victim with WORDS. It's only the narc's actions in those areas that give doubt, as well as the apparent inability to progress the relationship forward through communication. The victim actually buys the narc books on communication and tries to get things on track, but all attempts eventually fade into the ether and the victim is at a loss, but still tries to find other ways to make a great relationship (based on the narc's VERBAL feedback and the victim's hope and belief in the narc's honesty) better. Stage 1: The sudden and unexpected chain of events that results in a great relationship with the narc “loving” their partner on October 6, to a discard- “the relationship is over” -on October 11 with NOT ONE WORD spoken in between, a “dropping of the mask” with the narc literally acting like a stranger the love partner never even met before, and the narc fluidly and expertly flirting with someone 5 feet away from the victim on October 15 and a subsequent vicious physical attack on October 18 with an imposition of NO CONTACT on the victim and SERIOUS threats to the victim. Three additional aggressive encounters by the narc, with the narc being furious and re- emphasizing they don't want ANY conversation or communication whatsoever with the victim and repeating and doubling down on very serious threats against the victim. The victim is terrorized and paralyzed and for over 6 weeks, fearing for his life and the safety of his pets and those around him. The victim can't eat or sleep and all the while he tries to contact the partner and get some resolution,- NONE will be offered. Stage 2: The victim has just lost the love of his life and is shocked by what the narc has done, as well as terrorized by the incredible threats made to him. The victim never thought the narc capable of any of the actions just mentioned, so the victim tries to understand- he needs answers and some closure from the narc. The narc refuses any resolution to the situation, only making the victim at total fault for the breakup. Internet searches by putting in the unusual behavior of the narc, points the victim to a condition called covert narcissism (also referred to as inverted narcissism, as the victim later finds out). The victim then embarks on a painful journey of discovery, finding answers to what the previous 3 plus years of his life were really about. Stage 3: The victim doesn't want to accept or believe his partner is really a narc and continues trying to understand this condition. There are different types of narcs, the condition is on a spectrum. Yes most narcs can't be cured, but maybe his narc CAN. Stage 4: In an effort to find out what went wrong with the relationship, the victim learns that the narc was already “shopping” new partners online and flirting with men on the internet and then comes the real shock: the narc is already intimately involved with someone on line and possibly has already hooked up with this person, since they don't live that far away. Stage 5: The victim then tries to engage the partner on the social site that gave the narc their new persona, “life mission” and “soul mate”, and is subject to the cruelest form of gas lighting, mind games and triangulation by the narc and the new intimate partner. The new intimate partner gloats about having taken away the victim's lover and makes vicious and SERIOUS indirect threats against the narc's previous partner, also known as our victim. The narc indirectly also makes it clear how superior the new love interest is to the victim and how she adores, admires, respects and is bonded to the new partner as well as how much she and her new partner have in common. KEEP IN MIND this is literally 6 weeks after the victim was told “I love you” by the narc and the future relationship was on track. Stage 6: After weeks of abuse, incredible intimidation and fear, the victim decides to go to the authorities and file a report, ONLY for defensive reasons. The victim also gets on the aforementioned social site, building his own page and begins to get back a sense of himself. He gets to a point where he is no longer afraid of the narc and definitely is, and WAS NEVER afraid of the weasel (actually a complicit flying monkey if you want to be accurate) that is her new intimate partner. This progresses to the point where the new lover is confronted by the victim to follow through on his threats. The new partner turns out to be a coward and our victim finally gets back some of the self- respect, dignity, and self confidence that was torn from him. Stage 7: The victim begins having clarity and slowly realizes the incredibly warped, insane, surreal situation he was in with the narc, without ever having known it. He finally gets answers to all of the bizarre, unexplained behavior of the narc and through discovering that narcs are all very similar and that the victims all have similar experiences, he realizes that he was NOT to blame for any of the things that happened to him, even though the narc convinced him otherwise. His behavior to the breakup, lack of closure, and difficulty getting over the narc was all totally NORMAL behavior that a normally healthy human being who truly loves their partner would have exhibited. As time goes by, the victim is finally able to have positive thoughts, hope and optimism again and suddenly everything changes. The victim can clearly see a bright optimistic future for himself and has the epiphany that the narc is still living in the sewer that is located in their mind. The narc will probably never get out of that sewer, because they are comfortable living there. Stage 8: The victim looks back on the experience with the narc and sees it for the tragedy that it was. There was NO GOOD in the relationship. The victim realizes that, without a doubt, he would have been better off NEVER having met the narc. The life experience gained may have matured the victim, but only to the extent he is now aware to be on the lookout for these filthy demons that sometimes have the appearance of an angel that was sent from heaven. The narc is DEFINITELY not an inhabitant of heaven. They prefer the darkness, deception and lies that they have lived their whole lives in and will continue to live in. Stage 9: The narc no longer has any hold on the victim and although the victim still thinks about the narc, this becomes less and less. The victim now thinks of the narc with the same indifference that the narc always thought of him – no emotions or feelings. The narc is of NO CONSEQUENCE to the victim. Healing is now clearly evident, but the victim now knows that the narc may well make another appearance in the future to destroy anything that has been rebuilt. The victim will make sure to get strong and be prepared IF this ever happens. The victim is actually hoping to NEVER see or hear from the narc again. The narc wanted the relationship and eventually got the relationship with the victim and then the narc wanted nothing to do with the victim and achieved that also. So to the narc I say: “Well done, you won and got everything you ever wanted. You screwed up my life with impunity. Savor your victory, you are truly a better, more powerful, more capable person than I will ever hope to be, or even could aspire to be. Let me clarify: In the areas of lies, deceit, mind games, disloyalty, duplicity, callousness, cruelty. Yes, in those ares you are unparalleled and unbeatable, a true champion, your power in those areas is incredible. Well done!! In conclusion: Is there a “Stage 10” or more? Is this the end of the story? I sincerely hope so, but at this point I can't say I know for sure. The only thing I know for sure is that I am happier than I have been for a long time, to think of it, sort of like I was before the narc ever darkened my doorstep. I guess that's progress, and maybe, hopefully a happy ending to a situation that could have ended very badly for me, the victim. Thank you as always for watching. I hope these videos provide you with as much comfort as other people's accounts have done for me. Stay strong, hold on, do whatever it takes to get away from these narcs and inform yourself about their evil ways. But YOU have to know what path is best for YOU. We are all different and each person's path to recovery is different. Peace and tranquility and joy are possible and will be felt by you again, once the narc's toxins and poisons have been processed and are out of your system. You have the ability to love, the ability to feel joy, the ability to have all of the positive emotions this world has to offer and that is why the narc chose you and extracted every ounce of positivity and goodness from you before they threw you away like useless garbage. You have the ability to regenerate those positive things on your own and be a clear, sane thinker once again. The narc doesn't have the capability of generating these things on their own- they depend on others. Remember that.

The Narcissist Promises Heaven, But Delivers Hell The narcissist is, by design, a dishonest partner, never having any intention of presenting their true selves in a relationship. A normal relationship is where both partners get to know each other and make an earnest effort to compromise and adapt to each other, with the idea of creating a bond that will last forever in a relationship that is carefully crafted over time. A normal relationship is based on mutual respect and true love and concern for the partner. In a healthy relationship that love and respect grow and provide the incentive to get to know the partner on a deeper and deeper level. The more intimate the relationship, the more vulnerable each partner makes themselves and the deeper the relationship becomes. This creates a deep loyalty. An honest partner is interested in continually improving and growing the relationship and the bond and the love and loyalty. The narcissist isn't interested in any of the above for a number of reasons. First and foremost, his ability to love is nonexistent or very weak, second he has no empathy, or interest in knowing his love partner, third, the narcissist is not dedicated to honesty and has little genuine respect for his partner. In short all of the important things required for a solid and satisfying relationship are absent in the narc. So the narc is forced to put on an act and mimic what comes across as genuine emotional investment, love , concern, empathy, commitment, respect, and loyalty. The narc doesn't comprehend any of these emotions only what they appear like on the outside, so he approaches a relationship from a totally different perspective. Unfortunately, to the partner the narc appears normal and on the same page and genuinely interested in a healthy relationship. The giveaways are that the narc does occasionally slip. There are times where lack of empathy, lack of loyalty, lack of honesty, and lack of genuine love make a brief visit to the surface of the narc's personality, but the narc explains the situations away and the narc's partner is all too willing to believe the narc's excuses. Because the narc is unable to experience any of the emotions necessary in creating a truly satisfying relationship, he doesn't have the incentives needed to build the relationship and is also incapable of appreciating or enjoying a relationship and therefore he doesn't really value the relationship for any of the correct reasons. Instead, the narc sees a relationship as a source of fuel, or narcissistic supply. This means the relationship itself has no real value, only the energy that can be extracted from it and sadly, there is no real love or appreciation for the partner. The narc is truly putting on an act or wearing a mask and playing a game, unfortunately the rest of the world, especially the intimate partner, is serious and unaware that below the normal appearing surface the narc has none of the positive emotions or intentions that he is portraying. Only occasional “glitches” will give a glimpse of the real person behind the mask and it is never a pretty sight. So, now that the groundwork for the narc's mentality and attitude towards relationships has been established, let's talk about the promises that are made or implied by the narc in a relationship. It boggles the normal person's mind when a person that is “100 percent in”, “totally committed to” a relationship for years, overnight becomes a different person and leaves a relationship with no remorse, leaving behind all of the commitment and all of the promises made to the partner. The reason for the narc leaving, if one is given at all, makes no sense or is simply something that a normal person who loves there partner would understand. So here is what I think has been going on. The narc, by his very nature is never serious about a relationship the way a normal person would be. To the narc it is a game and he will say, do, and promise whatever it it takes to achieve the goal of obtaining his narcissist supply or the love and devotion of his partner. Intuitively knowing that he never has any intentions of fulfilling all of the promises he makes leaves him free to promise just about anything. The promise might just be an implied lifetime commitment or love or loyalty or devotion to the partner, or for a man a promise of great future wealth to the unsuspecting female partner. None of it is a problem, because the narc will always have a good excuse for why they haven't delivered on the promises. At best the partner might just get disappointing news that the promised future wealth just disappeared due to unforeseen or unexpected circumstances. The partner, now hooked, lovingly understands. When instead, a narc simply tires of a relationship and has found a new source of supply in another partner, the narc employs a different strategy. Alternatively, the partner may begin to show signs of independence and unwillingness to allow the narc to control them, or the partner may start showing signs of being aware of the narc's act. Any of these are reason enough for the narc to seek fresher fields. Usually the narc will set up a set of circumstances that will make the partner seem like they are at fault for causing the breakup. The reason given is frequently makes no sense, or the narc baits the partner into getting upset and then uses the partner's reaction as the reason for the breakup. The narc then makes a hasty retreat with no discussion or conversation had, otherwise known as the discard. The narc, having no empathy, first of all has no incentive to help his now useless former partner because there is “nothing in it” for him. Second, the narc at least partially understands that he has done something wrong by breaking up with the partner. Third, the narc also knows that the excuses and lies he has made for the breakup may not stand up to scrutiny, so it is best to remain silent and “no contact”. In conclusion, the narc makes incredible and outrageous promises and is free to do so, because he will always have a good excuse or an exit strategy lined up if there is ever the risk of having to deliver on the promises. The victim promised HEAVEN, is left with the reality of a true HELL on earth when the narc discards them with no remorse and no contact and no closure.

Another important thing to note about the narcissist's relationships that underscores the fact that they are not serious about having a real relationship and that they don't value or love the person they are seeking a relationship with is the indiscriminate nature of the choice they make in partners. Since the narc isn't looking for a partner to love and respect, but just someone to extract energy or narcissistic supply from and manipulate, their partner can be a janitor, a mailman, a doctor, a lawyer or even a stay-at-home father that isn't working that gives the narc the opportunity for an easily concealed thrill. Their partner can be older or younger than them, or not even good looking. The income level of a new partner is not important to the narc if they have another partner paying the bills, since the narc never expects to have a permanent relationship with the new partner. They will convince a new partner in any way necessary that they are serious and committed to the relationship and promise the new partner they are planning a life with them and love them, simply to string them along and extract their fuel. All the while the narc plans his exit strategy as just previously described. Every relationship scenario is just seen as a different set of variables to manipulate to the narcissist's advantage. The narc's partner choices are merely pawns and three dimensional objects for the narcissist's use. The narcissist will be able to manipulate the people that are in the lower status and intelligence category more easily and be able to extract higher quality fuel from those partners of higher status and intelligence. No matter their status, every one of the narc's partners will be discarded if there is no more energy to extract from them. The narc's insatiable desire for a new experience makes them continually seek relationships with all categories of people, since they are never satisfied. So let's re-emphasize the common theme. The narc doesn't cherish, understand, appreciate, or seek out a healthy relationship with a love partner. The narc doesn't have the capacity to love, appreciate, or respect another human being in a relationship, they only view their partner as a source of narcissistic supply or fuel, this makes the partner disposable and the narc has no intention of a lifetime commitment to any one person, unless that lifetime relationship provides something of benefit to the narc. The narc will feign love, commitment, respect, remorse, empathy, anything necessary if it is needed to maintain their narcissistic supply. The narc may experience “withdrawal symptoms” if the partner unexpectedly exits the relationship, but this is not due to sadness about losing the person, it's all about pride, having their sense of “being in control” shattered. The narc will not miss the partner in the normal way or be heartbroken, they will miss the energy supply and any desire to get the relationship back is all about regaining control over the relationship or getting back the energy supply. Healing from narcissistic abuse can be a long process. Knowledge is the key to understanding what happened to you. This unfortunately requires understanding the dark inner recesses and warped motivations of the narc's mind. That mind isn't a swamp, it's more like a sewer and you need to explore it to understand and get healthy. Take heart, you will get better and once again go out into the fresh air and sunlight and you will be able to experience things with new insight and be armed with knowledge and wisdom that will equip you to spot and avoid these evil creatures in the future. You have the capacity to love, to deeply feel, to experience joy. The narc will never have these things and always be unhappy and dissatisfied. Once again, thank you for watching, your comments are always welcome.