The Narcissist Has No Respect: The narcissist has no respect for anyone or anything. They don't respect their parents growing up. They don't respect relatives. They don't respect their peers. As the narc matures and is expected to act as an adult their lack of respect becomes more covert. Yes, the narc did learn one thing: to get any sort of response from others around them they do need to emulate, to fake, respect. Yes, the narc learned early on that respect is something that human beings expect from each other. Respect is given and received in a normal exchange between two people. So the narc did understand that totally and they used that fake respect to manipulate those around them. Yes when the narc wanted something from mom or dad they feigned obedience and even reverence for their parents and to not give themselves away they gradually, seamlessly reverted back to disdain once that item was obtained. The narc knew full well that insubordination was frowned upon by their superiors and the last thing the narc wanted was to let it slip that the narc never really considered those superiors even equal to them. Yes the narc considered every authority figure in their lives inferior to them from as early as they could begin to think of those around them. Only as the narc got older did that narc realize that they had to keep that dark secret of having disdain for everyone around them concealed. Yes, society frowned upon that. So yes that narc never had any respect for any human being, but they also had absolutely zero respect for institutions. The narc didn't buy into the family hierarchy at all since they never felt it was appropriate for their parents to have authority over them. The narc felt the same way about school, why in the world should they be forced to listen to those teachers when the narc, at least in their mind already knew it all. Yes that narc was always inflexible and unteachable, but the narc did learn. That learning was all on the narc's terms, however. Yes, the narc would educate themselves, picking and choosing what to study. Those studies were quite unconventional. No, their were no guidebooks or classes on being the best liar in the room. There were no AP classes in treachery and deceit. Gaslighting wasn't even a subject to be studied, because even to this day that word and all of its meaning has yet to be mainstream. So the narc did learn and learn quite well, it just wasn't learning that would benefit society. It was learning solely for the purpose and benefit of the narc and the narc alone. That learning did become more beneficial to society however when the narc realized that they needed to work for a living to get money and all of the things that they wanted for themselves. So the narc readily received their training and mastered the skills to fulfill their tasks in any job they took, but that learning was solely for selfish reasons, the side effect was that the narc actually was a productive individual. Yes, productivity was a mere unintended consequence. But make no mistake the narc milked everything they could to leverage that productivity as efficiently as possible. Yes, any good thing the narc did always had to give maximum benefit to the narc and the bare minimum to others. So typically the narc gave the appearance of building one position up after another and seemed like a loyal employee, but when that position was mined for every ounce of benefit, or a new and better opportunity arose, the narc abandoned their post for fresher ground. Yes that “loyal” narc employee was always looking for a better opportunity. The search was done carefully, behind the employer's back, and then the narc's excuse for leaving was that “an opportunity” was presented to them serendipitously, without any effort being put in on their part. Yes, it was an offer the narc just couldn't refuse. It is uncanny how the narc cheated on their employer just like they cheated on their partners. The narc is always looking for a newer, a fresher opportunity and they see no reason to allow a little thing like commitment and respect and loyalty to get in their way. Promises either explicit or implied can always be gaslit out of existence as the narc rewrites history and moves on to their new supply. Yes, the long list of employment positions is only rivaled by the narc's personal endeavors in relationships. But the narc was well aware of the need for references and was very delicate and gentle in moving from one job to the next. Yes, leaving on good terms was important, but of course the narc frequently revealed their treachery in one job or another and the way that narc dealt with those failures to fully deceive was to simply leave holes in their resume and call themselves a caretaker of an elder or a stay at home parent, or any other feasible excuse. Yes the narc I was with actually called herself a “homemaker”, O K. The reality is that many of those spaces in the resume are actually nuclear disasters that left the employer in a huge bind and required huge effort to repair the damage that was done. But the narc leveraged it all and always made sure their reputation or billboard was intact. Those messy departures from one job or another were always followed with threats and in the modern day workplace it is in the employer's interest to let things slide. After all that employer has actual responsibilities and a true commitment to the services and products they provide. The employer needs to focus on the actual work that needs to be done. So that is the narc in the workplace and the common theme there is that they have no respect for anyone that is in authority over them. They simply feign respect because it is a necessary tool to get what they want. The narc is no different in their relationships. The narc never respected a single one of the long list of partners they accumulated over their lifetime. Oh yes, the narc felt themselves quite generous if they let a current partner go gently, with one lame excuse or another. The real reason was almost invariably that a new partner was already obtained and the narc needed to do housecleaning. Yes, a clean departure would allow the narc to enjoy that new relationship unencumbered. So it's clear that the gentle release was simply because it benefited the narc. How else can we know this? Well, once the narc had fresh supply, they simply had no incentive or motivation to put effort into the existing relationship, so the narc frequently got sloppy and blew their cover. After all that victim wasn't really even worth any more effort. As a result the narc either inadvertently or by design revealed the calloused, heartless, depraved creature under the mask right in front of their soon to be ex partner. After all, that narc no longer had anything to lose. So in that scenario the narc showed their true nature and didn't feel any need whatsoever to feign respect for that discarded partner. Yes, the narc was ruthless and displayed a chilling lack of even an ounce of humanity. If it isn't in the narc's interest they don't expend any energy whatsoever on another human being. Yes, the narc actually wants to lose that partner, so why show any respect. Instead the narc puts their lack of respect for another person on full display and when the victim is exposed to that level of depravity it shocks them to the core. Yes the narc exposed themselves in the heat of the moment and this gave them an immediate benefit. But long term that narc created a problem for themselves since now there was someone who knew their secret, knew the truth. Gaslighting, reframing and a total rewrite of the past was used on the victim to confuse and disorient them. Lies, slander, treachery, and bearing false witness was used to repudiate the victim to those outside of the relationship. Yes, a smear campaign with flying monkeys is the narc's cure all for everything when they can no longer pull the wool over the victim's eyes or silence them. But a victim that educates themselves and puts together the pieces will know the narc's game. That victim will heal no matter how many flying monkeys or tools of the trade the narc uses against them. The narc's lack of respect extends to God as well. The narc may convince themselves they are worshiping God, but make no mistake, deep inside, at the subconscious level the narc believes themselves to be god. The narc will always have full authority in their own lives and never truly submit to or even admit to the existence of a higher power. In the narc's mind the definition of God is open to interpretation. Even if that narc professes Christianity that narc's god is subject to the narc's rules. Talk about the Almighty God and the rules laid down by that Supreme Being and the narc will give lip service and agree, but no way would that type of God, the true God, ever be acceptable to a narcissist. That God would require the narc's respect. No, the narc will keep the god of their creation, the god that they can redefine whenever necessary. The god that decides that everything the narc does is correct and noble no matter how depraved or evil. The god that lets the narc do and say whatever they want to do. The god that respects the narc. Now it becomes clear why a green jade Buddha is the narc's perfect false idol. So any appearance the narc gives of allowing God authority in their lives is a mere act. Yes the pattern that they show in their work and personal life extends to their relationship with God. Religion is seen as merely a very useful tool to make others regard them as fine human beings, as good people, but the pattern is exactly the same. The narc is simply counterfeiting the appearance of piety to bolster their billboard. Conversely, if atheism is considered the “in” thing with a group they want to be a part of, that narc will emulate that as well. Feigning atheism is one of the few times that the narc is portraying a more accurate exterior, one that more closely resembles what is actually going on inside their warped, diseased psyche. But make no mistake, that atheism is an act, because the narc does believe in a god and only one god, themselves. Yes, Satan has them on a tight leash and the narc never realizes that in all of their efforts to be number one in deceit, they never see that they themselves are the ones that are the most deceived. The narc's love affair with trendy social causes is easily explained since these causes are the perfect venue for the narc to disguise their lack of respect. Why? Because the narc has the perfect ability to feign genuine concern and dedication to a cause with little or no scrutiny of their true motives, and the payback to their ego is enormous in relationship to the amount of effort they expend. Yes, what better way to have society admire them than to be a supporter of a cause that is prominent with the important people of the world. Yes, that narc's inner hollow lack of concern will never be questioned in a group setting. Again it is all a matter of “doing the math” for the narc and those social causes give the largest payback for the smallest amount of input. Social causes are the ultimate candy for the narc, because these causes give the narc the most exposure, the greatest direct infusion of energy to their over-inflated and totally fake public persona or “billboard”. How incredibly sick it is to cover up your total selfishness by appearing to be just the opposite in public. True story: My ex was “passionately” championing suicide prevention on a social site, while at the same exact time she was teaming up with her weasel creep friend to try and push me over the edge. Yes the depraved hypocrisy of the narcissist takes your breath away. That calloused cretin was all of the sudden concerned with PTSD since her next target would be, and had to be a military man and that creep turned generating PTSD in her ex partner into a fine art. Those chains have now been broken by the way. The narc's lack of respect extends to institutions, their own country, and even their own heritage, since everything has to bow down to the narcissist. Nothing is sacred to the narc. The narc has no respect for marriage. Once that narc is married the obligations and responsibilities that the marriage contract imposes don't even figure into any of their plans. Why? Simply because that narc has absolutely no respect for the institution of marriage and sadly has no respect for their partner either. Marriage is simply a tool to get the narc what they want. Yes, marriage gives prestige. Being seen publicly as committed to another human being means the narc is viewed as a prime mover by society. Marriage gives all of the other perks as well, such as financial stability. Never does the narc even begin to appreciate the sanctity of the institution of marriage, the importance of it, the incredible gift it can be when done right. But again, the narc has absolutely no respect for the institution of marriage. If the narc wants an extramarital relationship, that narc will never allow a marriage to get in their way. The narc doesn't respect the family unit. They didn't respect their parents growing up and they frequently don't even respect their role as parent when they are older. Yes, a narc that doesn't take that role of parent seriously probably commits the worst act of disrespect a human being is capable of. Yes, the narc will seem to sacrifice themselves, but even with their children the narc always takes as much benefit from the role of parent for themselves as possible. Does the narc love their children? Maybe they actually do and maybe they actually sacrifice for their children, but it is never even close to the level of obligation that parenting should be. The narc just simply isn't capable of thinking more of others than of themselves. Not even their own children. I will spare a poignant anecdote that was related to me to protect the innocent about a person who actually put huge efforts into cultivating a new relationship when they should have been focusing exclusively on a child that was in severe need. So, does the narc respect the authorities, Police for example? Same as all of the above, respect is feigned because it is necessary, but only to the extent that it is necessary. Yes, my narc ex was followed by a police officer through town and finally stopped and told off the officer asking why he was following her. She felt safe because she believed she hadn't broken any laws. The narc also made a point of being close to some of the officers in town and avoided numerous tickets by taking advantage of those associations. But actual respect for authority? Not a chance. The list of how the narc disrespects everything can go on and on, but is there anything that the narc respects? The only form of respect a narc has is that which is motivated by fear. Fear of public humiliation, fear of being publicly unmasked, fear of being found out for the fake, phony frauds that they are. Only then will the narc actually give the appearance of yielding if it is necessary. But once that danger is evaded the narc will make a point of returning with a vengeance and have absolutely no mercy when they have gotten the upper hand and give their payback. Yes, the narc never forgets and the narc will never allow someone to get the last word, the narc will never allow themselves to be bested. Never is this more clearly felt and comprehended than when a narc thinks they were discarded by their partner, then resumes the relationship with that person. The sole reason for that narc to get back together with their partner is to exact revenge and make very sure that the partner is totally abandoned when at their most vulnerable. Sick but true. So the pattern of disrespect becomes clear and it is the same exact pattern in every single setting the narc enters into. No genuine respect for anything or anyone, fake respect for everything and everyone and the only goal for the narc is to extract as much benefit for themselves in every single instance. So, what if the narc actually does things that are beneficial to others? Well again, those are simply unintended consequences, but make no mistake whatsoever, the fruits of the narc's efforts are primarily for selfish reasons and the narc makes sure they are the greatest beneficiaries of those fruits. Of course no one knows what is really going on in someone else's head, so why make such a harsh judgment? Well here is a key: The narc helps many people over the course of their lives and actually can be seen as a positive force at least for a while, but then the narc gives themselves away and shows they never really cared at all. How is this? Well once a narc is done with any situation and they no longer have any use for a person or a job that narc frequently burns down and destroys every one of their positive accomplishments. Yes every good act and act of apparent kindness and concern is literally blown up leaving the partner, or the job, or others that depended on that narcissist in far worse condition than before that narc made their appearance. Yes the narc literally destroys all of the good that they have done and then does additional damage, leaving things worse off than before they ever appeared on the scene. Why would someone do this? Because they never really cared or respected and by blowing things up either on purpose or inadvertently that lack of concern is fully exposed. Yes the narc could have easily avoided doing the damage and would have avoided it if they ever really genuinely cared. Having your partner and confidant suddenly drop their mask and become a totally different person, a stranger is one of the most incredible shocks anyone in a relationship could experience, That shock is only equaled when an informed observer sees and fully comprehends the incredible hypocrisy of the narc in a public setting. Wolves in sheep's clothing, like whitewashed tombs which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. Choose your metaphor. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you. Ending Comment: The purpose of every human being on this earth is to glorify God. The Universe, this Earth and the people on this Earth, including narcissists, were created by God for His purposes. Yes, the narc started out as a creation of God to glorify God, but somewhere during the course of their existence they were taken over by darkness. So the new purpose of the covert narcissist is to embody evil and glorify their master, Satan. How is this possible in a world that was created by God? God has allowed Satan, sin, and the “ministers of unrighteousness”, which includes covert narcissists, to have apparent freedom to do as they please. Somehow God is using sin for His purposes, to turn evil into good. But here is the frightening thought, the narc is clearly owned and operated by Satan, but that narc is so far gone that telling them this truth won't make a bit of difference. You will be confronted with the typical narc smirk. Yes the narc is a slave to sin and totally convinced that everything is OK, totally convinced that they are in control. The narc may not even believe in the devil, but they are his puppet all the same. Just as the devil, and the third of the angels that followed him were once good and obedient to God, and purposely rebelled against their sole purpose for existence, the narc was also created to be good and worship God. So the devil, his fallen angels called demons, and all unrepentant narcissists will one day end up in the same location. No, they aren't going to a good place. The covert narc will broadcast their great compassion, concern, and empathy about an animal to the world. …meanwhile, in private, they engage in the lowest form of treachery, and depravity that a human is capable of TRUE STORY

When to Say Goodbye to the Narcissist: Putting that narcissist abuse behind you ultimately means putting that narcissist totally out of your thoughts. Yes, the narc may be dead to you in the sense that you are no longer concerned about what goes on in their daily lives. The narc may be dead to you because their opinion is no longer valid. The narc may be dead to you because they don't figure in to your plans either present day or future. All of that is a sign of healing and mental health. But the past still lingers and to put that past behind you you need to comprehend that past and fully extract all of the lessons that need to be learned from that time with the narcissist. Part of that learning experience is understanding narcissism in general and also trying to understand that individual narcissist that you were with. So why do some of us dwell on an individual that has absolutely no consequence to our existence going forward? Why do we still want to understand that person? Why are we still trying to contemplate if they were really a covert pathological narcissist or not? The actions of that person make it clear they were a narcopath, yet we still try to understand them. Well part of the reason we dwell on that person is because we still have a strong residual attachment to them, we still have feelings of love, commitment, and responsibility towards that person. We are even now still trying to understand that person because it is the natural thing that we are used to doing in an effort to bond and form a relationship with someone. So yes, quite some time has gone by and you are still trying to sort that narc out in your mind, still trying to analyze each and every personal experience that narc related to you and trying to determine fact from fiction. You still try to understand what could cause a person to become such a warped, diseased creature that is called a covert pathological narcissist. Yes, you are still subconsciously searching for and answer, an understanding of what that person was all about. You do that despite the fact that the motivations of narcissists in general have been carefully chronicled and described in high detail and you did intensive research and learning on the subject. To an outsider they may be quite puzzled as to why you would expend energy on a person that has long disappeared from the scene and is of no consequence to you whatsoever. But here is the important thing to note: if you still need to understand that person it is never any other human being's right to tell you to move on and not dwell. That advice giver no doubt has your best interests at heart and the logic behind that advice is sound. The idea is that if you stop thinking about the narc then you can heal. But if you aren't ready to put that narc out of your heart and mind you have to go against your own instincts to achieve that goal . Your instincts tell you that although the narc is over, the damage that the creep did to you is far from over. So taking that well intentioned advice from an outsider, even if they happen to have credentials is going against your own subconscious and may not be the right course of action for you. It may actually be a form of denial, a method of burying unresolved issues. Of course there is a time limit, but even that is usually proportional to the time spent with the narcissist and the level of abuse suffered. Yes, just like your body intuitively knows how to heal a physical wound, a cut or other injury, your psyche has it's own way of healing itself. Outside advice, especially by knowledgeable professionals is sometimes very beneficial for sure, and for some it is needed. For others however, we need to do what our heart tells us to do and continue pondering every aspect of that abusive relationship and the person that perpetrated that abuse, even though it is now a part of our past. So that process of pondering goes on and on and then one day when pursuing another avenue to try to gain insight into that person it dawns on you: the effort you are putting in is a waste of your time. You realize yourself that the efforts put in are not appropriate since the insight you get has no purpose or function. That insight that may be valuable in an ongoing relationship, useful to you, to your partner in trying to help them overcome their severe psychological dysfunction, and useful to having a more fluid and healthy relationship. But that insight is of no value whatsoever in your present situation. Yes, in your mind you were still in that relationship trying to understand, trying to get resolution, trying to get to a point of peace and joy for you, your partner, and the relationship. But then one day it sinks in that you are wasting your time. It sinks in that the effort is better spent pursuing other goals and possibly other relationships. Every outsider can tell you that a covert narcissist is a waste of your time, every well intentioned friend and professional, after all it is obvious. But the true breakthrough comes when you tell it to yourself. That breakthrough is the result of countless days, weeks, months, and years of daily work. Maybe even decades. So how do you know if that dwelling on the past is a part of the healthy process of healing your psyche or dysfunction? The easiest way to know is to look at the progress you are making. Are you more functional day after day, are you dwelling on that abusive relationship less and less as time goes on? Is hope and joy returning to your life? Are you planning a future and looking forward to that future, a future with every trace of that narcopath out of your life? All of those mileposts are very useful tools and allow you to gauge and monitor your progress. So yes, you are no longer concerned with trying to understand that individual narcissist because you realize it is a waste of time, but the need for vengeance can still bind you down. Now that the narc is no longer of any consequence, rather than dwelling on that creep receiving justice, you focus on your own standing with God and ask God to have mercy on you. Rather than expecting God to punish that narcissist, you focus on your own deficiencies and areas that need improvement. Yes, that covert narcissist may be dozens of times more wicked than the victim, but God's standards are different and no one is perfect enough to make it into heaven without God providing the payment for their sins. We have to keep in mind that every human being that has ever existed other than Jesus has committed sin just about every day of their lives. Sins of omission as well as sins of commission. So every human being on earth needs the grace of God, His mercy, not justice. Justice would mean to not gain entry into heaven. So if we need God's mercy, not His justice (and all of us do), then it wouldn't be appropriate for us to want justice for the narcissist. Insisting on justice for the narc in this case, means we also have to have justice from God and being that none of us are perfect it puts the victim in a bad position. As honest individuals we don't want to institute a double standard and consider ourselves special. That is what covert narcissists do. Instead, what goes for the narc goes for us as well. So does that mean the narc won't pay for all the evil they have done? Not at all. Here is the key: The narc absolutely has the possibility of being fully forgiven for all that they have done to you, have their debt fully paid so to speak, but there is only one important thing that is required of the narcissist. That narc has to genuinely repent, have remorse, and be sorry for what they did to you. That narc has to humble themselves and humbly ask God to forgive them and have mercy on them. That narc has to take full responsibility for all that they have done, not point the finger at an innocent party and bear false witness. We victims are only required to leave that narc fully in God's hands and have no concern whatsoever as to what will happen to that narc. So the narc is given the same opportunity that the victim has been given. If that narc does suffer a terrible fate, in this life or the next, they are solely responsible for those repercussions. The narc has damned themselves by their own attitude, their own lack of willingness to repent and humble themselves. The thing that upsets many victims the most is the fact that that narc will be free to perpetrate the same damage on another target that they inflicted upon them. But God is aware, God sees, and God will be the final arbiter of how much more damage that narc will be able to cause for the rest of their miserable existence. On the other hand, if the narc repents and has a genuine conversion the danger to others will have been brought to an end. Remember, the narc may think they can deceive God, but they will not be able to get away with a fake conversion. No one can gaslight God. He sees it all in high detail and total accuracy. Leaving that narc in God's hands will produce the best results and ultimately justice will be served. Justice or Jesus, and we all know that a covert narc actually changing and becoming truly humble would take a miracle. So yes it is possible, but the chances are slim to none, being that the narc prefers their self anointed and appointed godhood over any possibility of bowing to the real God. Not our problem. It is God's problem and He wants us to stay out of His way. That narc is no longer our responsibility. So yes one day you realize that you are wasting your time expending any energy whatsoever on that individual that pretended to be a human being. An individual that abdicated their humanity, but instead decided to be evil and only give the appearance of being human. Thinking about that individual covert narcissist has no consequence or significance, bears no weight whatsoever, doesn't figure in at all in the calculations and plans that you make for your future. But that is only when you yourself decide that dwelling on that narc has served its purpose in your life. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.