Morality and the Narcissist: The narcissist has a curious but very intimate relationship with morality. She will never be constrained by it, but it is one of her most effective tools of manipulation. All of us consider ourselves to be free. We believe we have the freedom to live life any way we see fit, within the boundaries of the law. This attitude is exponentially increased in the narcissist. The average person will always limit their activities and choices to things that are beneficial to themselves, but stop short of seeking their own benefits if another person is hurt by their gain. Most people set up a boundary, beyond which they will not go, no matter how much their need, that person will not hurt another human being to fulfill that need. There are gray areas where a person may choose a huge benefit for themselves even if it does cause some discomfort to another human being, and there are also altruistic actions where a person will choose to suffer or bear a cost for the benefit of another human being. The narc is a different animal all together. The slightest gain for many narcissists is all that is required, even if the cost to multiple other people is enormous. Not the narc's problem. Most narcissists are a bit more restrained and do set up a minor boundary which they will not go beyond without at least some thought. There might even be some consideration for the welfare of others, but the main reason for the narcissist thinking about things is to make sure they will be safe from the repercussions of hurting other people, rather than being concerned about the actual pain that they cause. So a narcissist will make sure they don't get caught breaking the law and they will make sure they size up the people they know will be harmed before they engage in their treacherous activity. This is where many a narcissist makes a mistake. The narcissist overestimates their abilities and underestimates the abilities of their victims. Because the narcissist is so self deluded, they sometimes expose their own treachery and mental illness publicly without even knowing it. My narc partner was dead set on gaslighting me with her fake sham Instagram accounts and her posts became so bizarre that her mental illness was obvious to anyone who looked at those posts, one in particular comes to mind. I showed these posts to a number of people and they confirmed that this was the work of a person with mental illness. The posts were literally incoherent and self contradictory. All of these posts were backed up by her narc weasel boyfriend as well as some of the flying monkeys she had accumulated on Instagram. The narc made a brief third visit to my place of business. That was at our last encounter when she was doing damage control for her boyfriend, since I was now calling him out to back up all of his threats. I had a rare opportunity to actually have a limited two way conversation with her. When she was made aware of the obviousness of her irrational behavior on Instagram, she never even skipped a beat, but her problem was I was now wise to narcissism and her gaslighting and lies were fully obvious to me in real time, while she thought she was talking to the old naive me. That brief visit was not for my benefit, it was for hers and her boyfriend's. In a final act of treachery she tried to gaslight me and denied she had been on Instagram for the past 3 months. Trying to twist the blade that she had embedded deep into my heart. I proved to her without a doubt how I knew these were her accounts and yet there was only the slightest twitch in her eyes as she continued barefacedly lying right to my face with eyes that had the look of insanity. Deep inside, however she knew she had been defeated. This was the last of three unannounced visits to my facility, the last two of which were witnessed by a third party and that person had no doubt that the narc was suffering from mental illness. The rage of this narc on the first two visits was incredible and that rage was backed up by a physical assault with threats the first visit and with additional incredible threats to myself on the second visit. I never did anything to actively try to harm the narc, but the narc became paranoid after the breakup because I actually had the audacity to talk to someone about the shabby treatment she had given me on our last weekend working together. The way she broke up with me, followed by the flirting and hand contact while gazing in another person's eyes for over 10 seconds right in front of me, etc. It enraged the narc that I told someone about this. The second visit was the narc not liking me having an Instagram page and she again threatened me with her “family” getting involved. Yes, the implication was I might be killed and in fact she said I would be killed if I didn't immediately delete the Instagram account. She had me so terrorized I removed it, but three days later I came to my senses and decided I'd had enough of the intimidation. I set up a new Instagram account. Yes, the narc had me firmly hypnotized and so totally disoriented that I didn't know the difference between her lies and the real world. Not the case on her third visit as mentioned above. So anyway, the narc sees something she wants and then does anything necessary to get it with no regard to the pain and suffering of others. She will freely enjoy that gain with no conscience or remorse. Only the narc's pleasure and desires are important to the narc. The number of unfortunate victims accumulates as the narc goes through her life. Now we will concentrate on the subject of morality. As stated, the narc is addicted to being free to live life as she deems necessary. Morality constitutes an unnatural and unnecessary restraint on that freedom for the narcissist in their business, social, and personal life. We will only focus on the personal relationship aspects in our discussion today. Commitment, loyalty, love, honor, truth, well those items are all too constraining for the narcissist personally, but they are important tools of manipulation. Telling the truth would mean losing the opportunity to have a new relationship, so she lies and says she is unattached. Telling the truth might mean she actually has to engage in a relationship on an even playing field with both partners actually having the same information. The lying, in the narc's eyes, gives her an advantage. She knows her partner's truth, but the partner doesn't know hers. That gives her power. She will not allow commitment or loyalty to her current partner to prevent her from seeking a new partner, that would limit her freedom. Of course, when it comes to her current partner, genuine commitment and loyalty are very necessary and expected, since they give her power over that partner. Similarly, the current partner's true love and devotion are perfect tools that give the narc another source of the power to dominate the relationship. After all, the narc isn't under the influence of the vulnerable feelings of being in love or bonded to another human being. In summary, when it comes to morality, the narc will never allow themselves to be constrained by morals, since they are addicted to freedom and they see morality as constraining. However, the narc does see the value of morals as tools to dominate her partner in a relationship because it gives her an advantage over her partner, a superiority, so the narc does expect her partner to be under the constraints of morality. Thank you for watching. Your comments are welcomed.