Spiritual Help For The Narcissist Abuse Victim: The path to healing from narcissist abuse is different for all of us and some people simply prefer purely secular methods of achieving that healing. If this has led to someone's full recovery I am glad for them and wish them a life filled with joy. Any person who has survived an encounter with a narcissist deserves that. However some of us do want to use both secular and spiritual tools and today I would like to specifically focus on some spiritual methods of resolving the damage left after the narcissist has moved on to their next victim. One of the main things that hold the victim back from a full recovery is the issue of resentment for the narc abuse victim. Letting go of that resentment can be a daily exercise and over time we can achieve relative peace in our lives, but resolving that resentment seems a never ending task. Why is this? Well partly because there are so many episodes of abuse and every time the memory of a lie or a cruelty or any sort of abuse comes to the victim's mind the resentment once again wells up in the victim. To compound the problem as time goes on and the victim reassesses that time with the narcissist in light of the truth more and more lies and duplicity come to the surface and the victim seems to have a never ending supply of new revelations of the abuse. A second subconscious reason the victim clings to their resentment is that it may be the only thing that binds them to the narcissist, the only thing that the discarded victim still has to hold on to. So in an unusual twist of events the victim can still be close to the narcissist while they indulge their resentment. The alternative to letting go of the resentment in this case is being alone and that even seems worse for the victim. However, another way of looking at it is that the resentment itself is responsible for the victim isolating themselves. No matter the cause let's make it clear the victim's resentment is a natural response to the cruel and callous actions of the narcissist. Let's remember the narcissist had no mercy whatsoever. That narc saw the suffering of their previous partner and didn't just turn a cold shoulder to that victim, they actually took the opportunity to inflict more pain on their vulnerable ex partner. No compassion, no mercy. So it is quite natural for the resentment to build in the victim as the victim wakes up to what narcissism is and truly begins to comprehend the enormous scale of that narc's duplicity and the mind boggling percentage of lying that the narc had done. Yes with knowledge that resentment just grows and grows. So in a sense, that resentment that goes along with the awakening and knowledge of the victim almost neutralizes the progress gained by the revelations of the truth. So this is where spirituality can have a critical role in reversing that trend. Allowing the victim to learn more and more of the truth, understand what really was happening to them in that relationship, while at the same time not allowing that new information to breed new resentment. I will be exclusively giving the Christian perspective from here on out. To begin healing that resentment spiritually we have to focus on key passages of the Bible and then comprehensively analyze all aspects of what these passages are saying. The first important passage we need to look at is one we have covered numerous times that passage is found in Romans 12 19 “ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” The second equally important passage is found in Galatians 6 7 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” So let's break these passages down and really understand what they are saying. First you have to ask yourself do you believe in God? Think about this long and hard and make sure you are answering honestly. If you do then you go to the next step. Do you believe that God is greater than you are and knows more than you do? Are you willing to submit your will to God? Do you trust that God knows what He is talking about? Do you believe that God will always keep His promises? If you have answered all of those questions affirmatively then you can go to the next step. Do you believe that the Bible is God's word and do you believe that the advice given in the Bible is trustworthy? If so then you take the next step and actually start the healing process by taking God's advice and listening to His directions. So what exactly is God telling us in Romans 12 19? Well He is telling us vengeance belongs to Him. So think about what we are doing when we hold on to that need for vengeance. We are literally keeping that need for vengeance and not letting it go. No we aren't holding it in our hands, at least in our hands there would be the possibility of dislodging it. But we are actually holding that urge for vengeance much more closely than by hand, it is in our hearts and has almost become a part of us. God is telling us that that vengeance doesn't belong to us it, belongs to Him and He is telling us to release our grip on that urge for vengeance. To let it go because that vengeance belongs to Him NOT us. So if we insist on holding on to that vengeance, we are at least in our hearts not believing or trusting the advice God is giving us. Now it is understandable that a narc abuse victim has problems trusting, but to not trust God is taking things too far and preventing us from taking His advice. God isn't just saying you should give Him that vengeance and telling you to have a good day, He is also telling you to stay out of His way because He will make sure the narcissist gets their payment. So in a sense that narc will never get their just reward if we don't give God that vengeance. God is clearly saying that the person who has wronged you will be re-payed and more specifically will get God's wrath as payment. If you don't want to believe God or trust God then ultimately that is the source of your not being able to let go of that vengeance. God isn't saying to just let it go, He is saying to have peace, relax He is taking that incredible burden off of your heart and carrying that load for you. He is showing you the path to peace, but to achieve that peace you have to listen to God. But just in case you aren't quite satisfied with that answer there is more information and that is contained in Galatians 6 7. Now the concept of karma is widely known and believed and most people believe in that concept to a certain extent. That concept of karma is open to wide interpretation with some going as far as putting themselves in the place of God. Yes the deluded narc actually called herself a goddess and made the statement that Karma was going to visit itself upon me because she was greatly displeased. Well of course that deluded narc thought she was being cute and cleaver with those threats, but in her own mind she really believed herself to have that kind of authority and by making those statements she gave away her total ignorance of how “cosmic retribution” actually functions. So let's dispense with the term karma and be more specific. You reap what you sew. Period. Yes there is a God that will provide the payment but He is decidedly male and decidedly apart from being human. So think about what the concept of sewing something means. It means you plant a seed and that small seed will eventually mature into a plant that is exponentially larger and of a totally different nature than the seed that it sprang from. In the same way that evil and all of that terrible abuse that narcissist perpetrated upon the victim will also germinate and grow and eventually the narcissist will have to reap that mature harvest. So the victim has to keep this in mind. We victims truly loved that narcissist and did nothing but good for them we also sewed seeds, but our seeds were of a positive nature. So the victim will also reap the product of their seeds the good product. What does this all mean? Well the narcissist will pay for all of their evil and you if you have done good for that narcissist and truly loved them will also be rewarded for all of those acts of love that were wasted on the unappreciative narcissist. I only have one narcissist as a tangible example, but that narcissist was continually alluding to all of the terrible abuse she had suffered at the hands of her mother and her mother's boyfriends as well as a previous partner. Her descriptions of the cruelty that had been perpetrated on her were heartbreaking to me and made me that much more committed to showing her that love did exist and that all of her suffering was not in vain. She had shunned both her siblings and her mother because of the alleged abuse. To be sure she had not been given a ideal childhood. But that was before. Before the abuse, cruelty and treachery she had perpetrated upon me. To be sure what she did to me far eclipsed any of her accounts of that deprived childhood of hers. Yes, that narc was far worse than that mother of hers and those siblings of hers. Or those boyfriends. Yet she continues to consider herself the victim. It stands to reason that even when it came to her time growing up it was she who had been the worst and most toxic member of that family. I want to believe that she never did worse to anyone than what she did to me, but I can't be sure of that. Let's be clear, I didn't deserve that treatment. It was totally unjustified. And yes she shunned me just as she did the rest of her family. Never a chance to explain and try to clear up the misunderstanding. Yes I have the scars to prove it and I just contemplated the fact that if these scars that I see are seeds. What will those full grown plants look like when she finally reaps them? That is a frightening thought and I sincerely hope that she avoids her punishment and accepts Jesus as her savior. But that stubborn self entitled deluded fool will never bow her knee to God and therefore those seeds will grow into the plants that she will one day reap. Of course those scars that are visible are just a small percentage of the damage and evil she has committed through the course of her existence. Do you now get it? Holding on to that need for vengeance and being concerned if the narc will ever pay is not only holding you back from healing, but it is stealing your peace. The frustration of having lost that investment that you made in that narcissist is also not justified. Both your positive and good reward and the narc's reward of punishment will be taken care of by God. The narcissist has one way and only one way out,: Accept Jesus as their Savior. So remember, the narcissist will reap what they have sewn, and it will be a bitter harvest. Yes, the narc was in a position to grant forgiveness even if that was for a perceived wrong done to them. Yes, the narc was in a position to give someone a hearing to listen to their concerns, but the narc refused. Not even 5 minutes of a two way conversation after a sudden discard and that conversation was nothing but lies and gaslighting. Not 5 minutes for someone they had told for 3 years they committed their lives to. Not 5 minutes for someone who never did anything to them but love them. Then all contact was forbidden. Yes, the narcissist was in a position to show compassion when it was absolutely needed, but they sternly refused. One day that narc will also be in that position and ask for mercy, but if it is after they die it will be too late. Here is the difference: the narc had a lifetime of being able to make up for their sins and a lifetime to ask for mercy and they would have received it. To say that they will pay for all of the evil they have done plus interest is really a gross understatement when you contemplate the difference between a seed and the mature plant that grows from it. Please also remember that the victim will not lose any of the kindness, compassion, love and concern that they gave to that narc. That good was not wasted, it will come back to the victim, in abundance. So after all that the narc has done, does any sane human being really think the narcissist deserves any compassion or understanding? After all the narc takes anything that is good and turns it to filth. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.