The Narcissist and Their Religion: The click bate title of this video could have been “All Narcissists are Satanists and All Satanists are Narcissists”, and it would accurately describe the true religion of the narc. Yes, narcs are devout believers in Satan and unwittingly or wittingly worship him. Some say that our battle against narcissist abuse is simply a psychological one and there is no spiritual component at all. I beg to differ. The battle we face is very much a spiritual one and narcissist abuse victims are severely crippling their chances of recovery if they refuse to accept that fact. To even begin to get a handle on narcissism we have to understand the underlying “religion” of the narcissist, a religion they all share. Some narcissists have simply made their lives very easy and accepted the fact that they “aren't going to a good place”. This attitude gives the narc the impression that they are somehow protected at least in this world and in this life from the forces many call karma, but the Christian believer calls Almighty God. Well, apparently the narcissist's life experience bears that out. Yes, the narcissist has gotten away with numerous acts of treachery and has come out unscathed time and time again, so in a way the narcissists understand intuitively that they are somehow protected from having to pay for their acts of evil. Yes, even the narcissist understands the evil nature of their acts, but the narc feels that they have gotten a good bargain in the exchange, the exchange of living in the here and now with no concern for an uncertain or unknown future. Why not throw the existence of an unseen God under the bus? Case closed for the narc. God simply doesn't exist, He is a figment of the imagination. Take your pleasure in this world and have all of the freedom you can imagine to do as you please whenever you please without ever having any concern for the people you damage. In exchange you simply accept the fact that “you aren't going to a good place”. Yes, the narcissist wants immediate gratification, the narc thinks any person who lives this life, and submits their own will to an unseen God is simply wasting an opportunity. The narc will never waste any opportunity whatsoever to do something they can get away with. So the narcissists simply finds no need to live by external standards of conduct imposed upon them by God. How dare someone tell them that their adulterous relationship is wrong. The narc is the one who makes the rules and just ask them, they will give you numerous reasons why their relationships with multiple partners all at the same time is totally justified. Now of course the narcissist is aware that society does frown upon acts of treachery and adultery, but the only concern for the narcissists in these situations is to be publicly exposed. It isn't that the narcissist feels any guilt, but there is the aspect of shame, of public devaluation or humiliation that is of great concern for the narcissist. So the narc is careful in some of the things that they do, but that is only because they cling tightly to their “billboard”, their public image. So what has all of this to do with Satan worship? Many narcissists are “devout” Christians, others are Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists. Still others are devout atheists or agnostics. The last category of narcissists, the enlightened ones, the self aware ones are outright Satanists. No, not all of these Satanists are going to profess their religion publicly. Instead many Satanists simply feign Christianity or any other form of religion to have a more acceptable, higher profile public image. Yes at least Satanism has not yet become publicly acceptable. No problem with it below the radar, but publicly Satanism is still shunned, so the wise Satanist doesn't let on. What is the way of life of the Satanist, the moral code as proclaimed by Aleister Crowley? “Do as thou wilt”. Does this sound familiar? Yes it is the creed, the subconscious or conscious creed of the narcissist. Sure, a person will convince themselves they are a Christian believer, but their fruits, their actual actions paint a very different picture. The Bible clearly states “by their fruits you shall know them”. Well what do the fruits of the narcissist point to, even a narcissistic Christian believer? The short answer is “Do as thou wilt”. For example is it any wonder that a young narcissist who wants to be a nun becomes severely disappointed by the fact that God doesn't throw out a red carpet for them in gratitude and fall down to worship them? After all the narcissist has just told God they would be partners with him. Oh yes, the narcissist consciously thinks they are worshiping God, but they become disheartened when their prayers, which are really commands to God go unanswered, in reality unheeded. Yes, God doesn't listen well to the narcissist, so the narcissist is highly insulted. The narc has no need for a God that doesn't listen to them so they become an atheist. Other narcs maintain their “relationship” with God in one religion or another, but that relationship with God is mere lip service. The reality is the narc is practicing their true religion all of the time. “Do as thou wilt”. So let's be very clear now, it is no great mystery at all that Satan exists. Yes, the devil is more than pleased to put a hook in someone's nose and have that self same person be under the arrogant impression that they are above it all. Yes, the atheistic narcissist is quite an arrogant fool and will confidently proclaim that Satan is a fairy tale and so is God. What glee the devil must have in that situation. Yes, the narc atheist is a patsy for the devil, keep on not believing is Satan's opinion. The narc agnostic is not far behind although it should be noted that not all agnostics are narcissists. We are talking about agnostic narcissists here. The narc agnostic simply can't accept the existence of something they can't fully comprehend, something that is beyond them. Most agnostics are just being honest, maybe they have doubts, but the narc agnostic most likely simply refuses to bow their knee to God. Either way, any doubt whatsoever the devil can create about the existence or the nature or the sovereignty of God is adequate for him to achieve his goals. In the case of the narcissist who sees themselves as a worshiper of God, the devil simply warps that narcissist's ideas of what it means to be a believer, that is also more than acceptable to Satan. The main thing is making people believe they can and should “Do as thou wilt”. Yes, Satan is saying to these deluded fools “you can be as God”, “God doesn't want you to have any knowledge because He is trying to prevent you from being enlightened”, “God is trying to spoil your fun”, “You are God”, “God doesn't exist”, or Satan will simply warp your opinion of God and make God a “Genie in a bottle”, someone who takes commands from you and fulfills your wishes, when there is no use for God, you simply put a cork in the bottle and “Do as thou wilt”. So the pieces of the puzzle begin coming together and the picture you see becomes clear. Yes some narcissists are self-deluded and think themselves followers of God, others have doubts, and God is therefore effectively neutralized, and yet others are self aware and openly deny and refuse any influence of a higher power in their lives. No matter, every single narcissist is a worshiper of themselves as god and will never submit their will to any other being and that is where they have made their fatal mistake. The narcissist is a slave to Satan and even though they are under the impression they have freedom in this world in reality the narcissist is the most enslaved person on the planet. They walk around continually doing the will of their father, the father of lies, Satan and he deftly pulls the narcissist's strings and directs their every move and thought like a puppet. Narcissists are the willing slaves and property of Satan. They are slaves to sin and they are under total domination as indicated in Romans 6 16: “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?” Yes the reality, the truth of eternal life and the obvious fallacy of the lies of the devil and the false path to happiness and fulfillment by indulging in the pleasures of sin in this world are clearly stated in the Bible. But the narc is too drunk on themselves to understand what a child can comprehend. What is that? That God exists and the importance of submitting to someone with more knowledge and authority than yourself, admitting that you aren't King or Queen. Of course a narcissistic child with progressive parents may never learn of that reality, but the average child intuitively “gets it”. So we have now put our finger on the precise problem with the narcissist, the foundation of all that is wrong with them and also shown them the clear way out of their endless cycle of misery and destruction, both to themselves and everyone their lives touch. What is that way? It is full and total submission to God and a genuine internal acknowledgment that there is a higher power. We now understand why it is almost impossible for the narcissist to change, they simply will never give up the authority over their own lives let alone even consider the notion that they aren't god. Make no mistake, the covert narcissist will give the appearance of submission in the workplace or in their personal lives and they may even convince themselves that they are humble and meek, but they subconsciously consider themselves god, the final authority in all that they do. So the narcissist wastes their opportunity of life, misses the point of human existence altogether. Just like they had everything a person could ever want and wasted the opportunity, a relationship with someone who truly cared and was committed to their mental and emotional health. Rather than appreciate that situation they threw it away and in the process lost any excuse that they were never given a break in life. Yes, eventually the narcissist will have to take personal responsibility for their lives and the dark, desolate, lifeless, hollow world they have created for themselves. Yes there is a way for the narcissist to free themselves. Think of what Romans 6 16 says: You are either obedient to God, or you sin. One thing we know for sure the obstinate narcissist will never be obedient to anything or any one, yes they may act obedient to deceive someone but the reality is the narc will always be god in their world. Their puppet master is just fine with that. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

The Narcissist and the Karpman Drama Triangle: So, you have just gone through the battle of your life trying to get answers from your narc ex and the new knight in shining armor ( let's call him what he really is: a narcissistic weasel) has run interference and is protecting the narcissist ex from any contact with you at all. The end of the relationship came suddenly with a physical attack and vicious threats and a sudden loss of your ex as the mask slipped off totally and she suddenly turned into someone you never met before. Yes there were issues that needed to be discussed and answers that deserved to be given and some closure was needed. Things had to be sorted out. Anyone with the bare minimum of respect for a person they said they loved and intended to spend the rest of their life with owed the ex partner at least that much. But the weasel, who may well have been the catalyst for the breakup in the first place was making sure there would be no equitable resolution by enabling the situation to be fully no contact and enabling and aggravating the demonization of someone he never met before, someone he never knew. Yes, think of a deluded fool who would judge another human being he had never met simply by the disclosure of an unstable woman in distress. Oh yes the narc's world did blow up unexpectedly this time along with the person she was discarding. This wasn't expected by the narcissist at all and the shock of actually being a victim of her own duplicity shook the narcissist to her core. No she was never supposed to have any repercussions from her own treacherous acts, but this time it all caught up with her. Make no mistake though, this just meant the narc had a new battle. Her final phone conversation with me was filled with one threat after another, and my concern was for her and I said please don't hurt yourself. Her response: she was on a mission to destroy me and no she wasn't going to harm herself, my total destruction was her reason for being alive, she was going to make sure I suffered. Yes, her new battle was to make sure that her ex partner suffered and had at least twice as much pain as she had. So the weasel was the perfect tool for her to achieve that goal as well as provide her with comfort. In a sense this was a match made in hell. The female narc on a mission to burn down her previous partner and the manipulative deluded weasel narcissist male with an inferiority complex that couldn't resist the urge to vanquish another man and prove his superiority. Finally he could live out his fantasy delusion of being a victorious warrior. Yes stealing another person's relationship and being a victor was the ultimate mind candy for this clown and his years of wanting to be a victor over another man were finally being lived out in real life. Yes, the weasel thought himself a knight and the female narc played the role of the damsel in distress to a “T”. So you are trying to have important conversations and resolve some major issues with your ex partner. Trying to make sense of things. Trying to get answers. None will ever be coming. Instead you are faced with triangulation as the new couple flaunts their emotionally intimate relationship right in front of you and attempts to drive you crazy with the narc ex putting up multiple sham posts and starting multiple Instagram accounts that they think they are gaslighting you with. The narcissist male weasel's account is the source of one threat after another and the ex backs him up as each post is within seconds “liked” by the female ex and vice versa. Yes this relationship's emotional intimacy plays itself out right in front of you on multiple posts each day. The Christmas and New Years posts brought you to your knees. The female narc and the weasel literally collaborate with each other for hours each day keeping in close contact and synchronizing everything. You have no option but to communicate through your Instagram account and the two way conversations between you and the narc male weasel go on for 4 to 6 weeks. There is no contact between you and the narc ex at all. Yes you and the narc weasel boyfriend are engaging in psychological warfare with the narc weasel making threats one after another and insults as well. You try to keep things positive on your site and reach your ex as well as refute the atheistic rants and raves of the weasel narc and of course the threats of doing violence and things that will end him up in jail. Finally, trying to put an end to things you tell the weasel. You have won, be happy with your achievement. Now stop the threats. Well the weasel continues to gloat. Another warning is given. Bear in mind these are all simply posts on my site and posts on his. I simply ignore the weasel's site for a week or two and then in an effort to block this account I unfortunately have to view it. Well the post that stares me in the face is this: “Proverb: Fear only two: God and the man who has no fear of God”. Well that was a take on my Biblical passages that I had posted on my site. I then made this comment directly on the post: “Fear this: a man who believes in God and has no fear of you.” It's time for you to back up your threats. So what happens next? Well within 20 minutes the narcissist ex shows up at my doorstep and engages in our final conversation and contact together and that brings us to the subject of this video the Karpman Drama Triangle. In short the Karpman drama triangle is the dynamic between three people playing three roles that of victim, persecutor, and savior. How does this apply to the narcissist? Well the narc unwittingly is always caught up in this triangle and seamlessly switches from one role to the next. Let's get back to that final meeting since it only became clearer to me this very day what was going on. So the narcissist walks in to my place of business calm cool and collected and says she only has a few minutes to talk. She thinks she has shocked me by coming in. Why? It goes back to those Instagram accounts of hers. I will spare the details of the gaslighting she did on her site and the bizarre self contradictory posts that she made. In short she was attempting to get me to believe she was moving to another state. The posts on that site were a clear display of the instability and mental illness she was suffering from. Somehow she actually thought that I believed she had moved out of state. So when she walked into my business she thought she had shocked me. She then proceeds to tell me that she hasn't been on Instagram for three months and a friend told her about my Instagram site. No she knew nothing about anything and then proceeds to discuss some of the posts I had made. I then show her on my phone how Instagram links your contacts to an Instagram page and she proceeds with her lying without skipping a beat. I show her more contradictory evidence. Printouts of the threatening Instagram posts that she had made. Yes that advice was given me by the police and a copy of those printouts was added to my police report. I will be kind and not mention the extent of those threats. Just to be clear I did give the narc fair warning to stop the threats or I would file a report with the police. She didn't think I was serious. After 6 weeks of fearing for my life and not eating I had had enough and made the report. Even that day the narc had the opportunity to stop the threats of her family taking care of me. She did not. By the way, I did forget to mention that the worst of her threats were on a very special day. My birthday. Getting back to the final encounter at my business, she then tells me I had to apologize for what I did first and then she would apologize. She then struts out of my business thinking herself victorious. Well her problem was I had already been learning about covert narcissism and I was spotting the lying in real time. Yes her crazy eyes were steady as she blurted out one lie after another, but I looked straight into her eyes and her upper eyelid began twitching. She knew that I knew but thought she wasn't letting on. So what was actually going on in that last meeting other than the obvious? The cold hearted creature was there to run interference for her new beau, but the important thing was her demeanor. She came in calm cool and collected, and she was channeling the new boyfriend who had helped her stay calm and cool and subdue her rage in the face of the terrible situation with her evil ex boyfriend, yours truly. Yes the narc was now mirroring someone new and was a different person altogether than the one who was my partner. That new creature staring right into my eyes had no soul. She literally channeled that narcissistic sack of filth boyfriend of hers as she proudly lied, gaslit me and literally every word out of her mouth was a lie meant to bury me alive. Lying, duplicity, treachery, aggressive vengeful hatred were now virtues to this beast that had once espoused all of my positive traits as her world view and way of life also. Yes my partner once believed honesty, humility, hard work, kindness to others, selflessness, tolerance, a belief in God and being faithful and loyal to her partner for a lifetime as the correct path. This demon in front of me bore no resemblance whatsoever to the previous love of my life. Yes, they shared the same physical body, but my ex was nowhere to be seen inside that Jezebel. The weasel boyfriend had saved her and told her he would take care of her problem, namely me. Yes she was all saturated and filled with the new supply from a new boyfriend and she and he were one. That narc weasel was living inside of her and she treated me like a total stranger with a coldness of spirit that chilled me to the bone. That narcissist truly had no soul and I could hardly believe that I hadn't noticed that throughout our years together. But that was another persona, another mask. This person in front of me was someone else altogether. The cycle, the Karpman triangle had been fully completed with me now being firmly in the role of the evil perpetrator and someone else installed as the savior. She once again took her favorite position of the victim. But let's not downplay the narcissist's versatility. Yes, she had seamlessly played every one of the positions in that Karpman triangle. She walked through my door in June of 2013 doe eyed and at the end of her rope seeking employment. A broken woman. She rapidly told me about a terrible ex she had ended the relationship with but was still in close contact with and slowly she convinced me that I was the perfect man for her. The man she had been looking for all of her life. Yes she was a victim of terrible abuse with a former partner who drank all of the time and was always drunk. She had been abused and likened her previous relationship to the Julia Roberts movie “Sleeping with the Enemy” where the partner came home and everything had to be perfectly organized and clean or she would be berated. But the descriptions of her partner when asked didn't line up with the statements of abuse and I didn't buy into it all and never took the bate by calling that ex evil. Did I know of the Karpman triangle? No. But in retrospect this is exactly what I was dealing with. So fast forward to our last day and the narc who started off as a victim when she walked in my door that first day walked out as the obvious perpetrator that last day. That last day I had been placed into the role of her ex partner and goodness knows what stories she fabricated about me, and the narc weasel was now the savior. Full circle. In actuality I was the victim and both the narc and her weasel savior were the true perpetrators. Of course the narc had gradually taken that position of perpetrator for at least the two previous years of our relationship. However in her mind, even while being the perpetrator in our relationship, it is clear to me that she believed herself to be the victim and correspondingly portrayed herself as the victim and me as the perpetrator to the outside world. Yes she started off the victim, making me the savior and her previous partner the perpetrator. To summarize, in that second stage she made me the perpetrator and herself the victim to the outside world while simultaneously behind closed doors she was the actual perpetrator. In the final act of this Karpman Drama triangle she had retained victim status, made the narcissist weasel the new savior and retained me as the perpetrator. The narc weasel boyfriend complied with her wishes and aided in my demonization and punishment. Karpman triangle completed. One narcissist, three roles. Her role is always of the victim publicly while behind closed doors she is the actual perpetrator. The previous savior then becomes the perpetrator in her public discourse away from him when she no longer has any use for him and is shopping for a new savior. Yes an evil perpetrator is always required and the more evil she can make him the greater the contrast she can create as she idealizes her new savior. This cycle continues throughout the narcissist's life. The trail of broken lives left behind boggles the mind. But the narcissist is always in control of that triangle, always making sure they act out the role that serves their best interest at the moment. Does the narc ever think of themselves as a savior? Yes, when they love bomb and idealize someone and build that person up. Like a calf being fattened for the slaughter. But ultimately the cornerstone of the narc's existence, in their mind at least, is the role of victim. How strange that the narc can't see the irony. For the most part the only victims in the narc's world are those around them and the only perpetrator in their world is the narc themselves. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

The Narcissist and Their Web: How to Break Away The narcissist lives in a world of ambiguity and chaos and will never want to come out of that world of foggy turmoil. The average person couldn't conceive of living in constant unstable pandemonium. It makes no sense to want to live that way, and yet the narc fights every attempt at being brought into the light, into peace, into contentment, into stability. Part of the reason for that is that the narcissist gets bored easily, so stability isn't stimulating enough, but there is also another very important reason why the narcissist wants no resolution in their lives and that is mainly because a peaceful environment with clarity might well expose the narcissist and all of their duplicity. Then there is an even more important area the narcissist has to keep cloudy and ambiguous and that has to do with the debt that the narcissist owes to all that they have come in contact with throughout their lives. Yes that is the core of what makes the narcissist never come out of that dark world of theirs. As long as the narc lives in their world they can avoid seeing things clearly or being seen clearly. Yes, the narc will always stay the victim in their world and always be the person that other people have wronged, the person that is owed repayment. To come out into the light, the world of crystal clear transparency would leave the narcissist very vulnerable and never more so than when the reality is shown. What is that reality? It is the fact that the narc owes a huge debt to the victims they have amassed over their lifetimes. The narc sees themselves as the wronged one, the perennial victim, because the narc intuitively understands that the person that owes is a slave to the person that they owe. The narc always wants to have others in the position of slaves and themselves in the position of master. That is part of the narc's MO, method of operations, modus operandi. The narc must be in control, must be master, must be king or queen and what better way to be in that position than to have everyone they have ever been in contact with be the person who wronged THEM. So the narc puts a huge effort into maintaining victim status and convincing all of those around them that they are the ones who have wronged the narcissist. So the narcissist weaves their web and catches their victims in it, but the narcissist themselves is the one who is truly doomed to live in that web forever, a world strewn with the remains of the countless broken lives of their victims. Those victims, having been sucked dry, either escaped or were ejected by the narcissist, but the remains of the damage will forever stay attached to the narcissist's web. So maybe the narc views these remains as trophies, a source of comfort. A constant reminder that they, the narc, “won”. But that “win” is only valid as long as the narcissist stays in their web. Yes those victims left that web and rebuilt and some poor victims were repeatedly entangled into yet another web of the next narcissist. Knowledge however made other victims learn to recognize the whiles of a narcissist and avoid ever being trapped again. So that is the narcissist's world. No, it isn't a pleasant place to spend time in. Isn't it curious that it takes some time for the victim to realize that obvious fact, the fact that they were actually caught in a web. Well we have to remember that the narc injected that victim with toxins making the victim think that entanglement was natural and normal and even desirable. After enough time away those toxins do wear off and the victim can get back their senses and see things as they really are. Now at this point the victim may finally understand the reality that the narc was the one who wronged them and the narc is the one that owes them a great debt. Of course by now the narc has moved on and has made very sure no collection of that debt will ever be made. In fact the narc will never admit to themselves or to others that they are the ones who owe. No the narc will always insist that they are the victim and that those ex partners all owe them. Pure nonsense, but what else is the narcissist to do? Yes subconsciously the narc knows they are the ones who owe, but the narc will never let themselves or others become aware of that fact. What does this all mean for the victim? Well as the victim becomes more and more aware of what was done to them they become filled with rage anger and resentment and a need to settle the score and seek vengeance. But the slimy narcissist has been through this situation many times before and is fully prepared to never let you get anywhere near them or if you do get an opportunity the narc will make sure they make a speedy exit when confronted and never address any of your concerns. What is exactly going on in these interchanges between narc and victim? To get an answer we will have to take a closer look at the above dynamic and analyze the situation. To do that we will have to look at the relationship between a debtor and the person who is owed the debt. By definition the person who owes is a slave to the person who is owed and this really gets to the heart of the conflict that takes place inside the victim. The victim intuitively, subconsciously understands that they are “owed”, that they are in a position of power after having suffered the abuse and the narcissist is equally aware of “owing” on the very same level of subconsciousness. Yet consciously the victim feels powerless while at the same time the narcissist seems to have all of the power. Yes consciously the dynamic makes the victim the slave with the narcissist as master and in control. But like everything else relating to narcissists that outward appearance is fantasy and in this case it is the exact opposite of reality. The narcissist is actually the slave and the victim is the master. So as a victim you have to understand that dynamic. You think you are in the worst position and the narc has moved on and is in the superior position with no ill effects suffered and in a new relationship. But you have to ask this question of yourself. Would you want to be the person who owes or the person who is owed? Well you don't have that choice, but when you think about it the person who is owed is in a far better position. That person has the power to forgive the perpetrator and grant that narcissist their freedom. Of course the narcissist will never accept that reality and will never appreciate or comprehend the great gift they are given, but that isn't really the point. In granting the narcissist freedom, since you the victim have all of the power to do that, you have freed yourself as well. That is right, the narcissist has no power at all. For the narc to be able to live in clarity, get out of their web they would have to see things as they really are , see themselves as the perpetrator, the one who owes, the one who is enslaved, the one who depends on the victim, who is by default the narc's master, to free them. Yes, the narc depends on your forgiveness but you the victim have no dependence on the narcissist whatsoever to gain your freedom. You are fully in control. You are the master and until you are willing to release the narcissist from his or her bondage to you, you will also be bound to the abuse, stuck in that web so to speak. You can now free yourself. You can break that psychic bond that connected you to the narcissist. Yes, in a way that resentment and anger you felt for the narcissist meant that the narc was still with you, and you with them. Those emotions maintained the emotional connection you had with the narcissist. For you it was a relationship based on love, but for the narcissist that love was never there. Post relationship the victim who has the ability to love is naturally still attached to the narcissist. The very nature of love is that it doesn't let go even in the face of terrible adversity. But that was on the victims end, the victim who is normal. The narc is different when it comes to that bond. The narc never loved and could really care less what happens to their previous partner. The narcissist was never emotionally attached to the victim. If the narc does have any attachment whatsoever to the victim it is either to enjoy seeing the victim pine for them or to torture the victim by flaunting a new relationship or to get the sick thrill of getting the victim to believe that they have changed and perpetrate another con job on their partner once again. Yes it is quite a thrill for the narcissist, it makes them almost feel omnipotent and invincible when they can treat a person with absolute disrespect and cruelty and then return and once again deceive the victim and have them eating out of their hands. No, it isn't about love at all for the narcissist. It is about control and being superior to their target-victim. It's all about playing god and having another person worship them. So whether the victim sees it or not any attachment that exists between them and the narcissist is to the advantage of the narcissist and to the detriment of the victim. The victim gets no benefit whatsoever in maintaining that emotional connection to the narcissist. So if the victim is ever to truly heal every last trace of that bond must be eliminated. No, that isn't what a caring loving human being should do, but when dealing with a narcissist it is the only appropriate thing to do especially if there are no children and you haven't married. Yes it will mean saying goodbye to the narcissist and being that we do still have love for that person despite all that they have done it means we will need to let go. Every victim has the power to decide when that day comes. The day that the narcissist is fully detached from our existence. The narc with all of their ability to deny everything has no say and no power as to when you release them. But to fully release the narcissist and yourself and make that final cut, there is one more bond that has to be severed and that is your love for the narcissist. So yes, you released the narcissist from their debt that they owed you, you eliminated your need for vengeance and now you still have that bond of love that is holding you down. Let's make this clear, the narcissist neither wants nor needs nor appreciates that love so keeping the flame alive will do nothing at all to benefit the possibility of a future relationship. On the contrary the narc will simply use that last vestige of love as a tool to extract even more energy from you the victim. The narc will callously use your love as a tool to manipulate and because they have already burned you the narc will actually think in their heart that you are asking for further abuse, that you actually deserve it. Think about that. So yes it is time to sever that love bond. My deadline was one year and that day is approaching soon and may well be passed by the time this script is made into a video. Yes, I gave it a full year before pronouncing the relationship abandoned. A full year to remove all doubts that the narc was just not thinking clearly and actually is sorry for all that they have done. A full year to pay respect to the love and the commitment I had to that person. To do less would have meant my love and commitment were as fake and phony as that of the narcissist. Forever holding on to my resentment could have sealed the narcissist's fate for eternity as an eternal debtor, but I choose to release them from their debt and wish them happiness and joy in whatever relationship they are now in. Jesus allowed my sins to be forgiven so I am obliged to forgive the narcissist as well, or have my forgiveness placed in jeopardy. In so doing I have freed myself and yes it is with tears in my eyes. Tears for all of the plans and dreams, all of the things we were yet to do together, all of the beaches we would comb and quiet weekends together, all of the sunsets that we will never share. Yes, it was all narcissistic future faking. All fantasies that would never come true as I tried to bring peace and contentment to someone who was living in a web, a web of lies and being that I didn't realize I was in that web with her I could never understand what was binding us and binding me to that frustration and chaos and fog and ambiguity. Yes it was a web that I was caught in and now I am free. Am I better off, happier, more joyful today than I was one year ago, October 6^th 2016? It was one year ago when my ex told me she loved me for the last time. Yes, I am, and that is sad because that means that being alone and in total chaos with an uncertain future but aware and awake is far better than living in a fool's paradise where the angel in front of you was nothing more that a demon in disguise. Yes, I am free and I can go into the future knowing that I did nothing wrong, never lifted one finger or said one word to hurt the narcissist. No it wasn't my fault what happened to me. Yes, the narcissist will say the same thing and try to convince themselves they are innocent, but the weight of their actions, the reality, the truth can never be escaped in the real world. So the narc is no longer a slave to me, but she will always be a slave to her own lies and will always be stuck in her web. Yes in a moment of clarity after a particular rough time the narc gave me I called her a black widow. She rather liked that analogy. Little did I know, only she knew, how close to the truth that analogy was for me and for many others that had come before me. But none of that makes a difference any more. I have come full circle. One year ago today I loved and I had no animosity or anger or bitterness or resentment. One year has passed and I have gotten myself back. I have no anger, no bitterness, no resentment, no animosity. Yes I am back and climbing that mountain of forgiving that narcissist and actually wishing them well was my Mount Everest. I made it to the top and viewed the vast distances that surrounded me. I saw clearly the path my life had taken below me. I saw the path that led me to this point and the many slips and falls, the hopelessness the fear the anxiety the self doubt, the tears, but I persevered and made it to this peak. I now walk back carefully to the ground changed, stronger, better, more aware. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed, Peace be with you.

The Narcissist is Inflexible and Unteachable: The narcissist's mind and motivations will always be an enigma to the outside observer. We can describe narcissists and know what to look for and even try to describe the internal workings of their mind and emotions, but in the end if we aren't narcissists we are giving educated guesses. Sam Vaknin and H. G. Tudor, both avowed narcissists, have taken great efforts to describe the internal workings of their minds and emotions, their motivations and in the early stages their videos are of great value. It just isn't natural or logical or productive to think like a narcissist and the understanding of narcs is simply a way of getting answers for the victim. It is also a field of study for mental health professionals. Those of us on the outside are motivated to know so that we can be enlightened, so that we can make some sense out of the nonsensical world we didn't realize we were dragged into. The subject of love and loyalty and their importance in a relationship has been covered previously. The fact that the narc has an impaired, or no ability at all to appreciate or understand or feel love and loyalty has also been covered. Yes, the narc uses people and loves things although they may “love” their animals and their children, but we use that term love loosely when it comes to the narcissist. My personal observation is that the narc has a loyalty to ideas and ways of thinking, but not to people and this is one of the things that makes them hollow people with no internal compass or code of conduct. It is what makes them unteachable and inflexible and ultimately stunts their growth as individuals. This once again gets into one of the narc's deficiencies. The narc can't think three dimensionally when it comes to emotions, they can only see things on face value, think in two dimensions. That doesn't mean that a narc can't be highly intelligent, but when it comes to emotions they are incapable of understanding many things that most of us take for granted. They don't seek to be independent thinkers or comprehensively understand something, they simply read the “cliff notes” of a subject or even of life itself and then go about pretending they comprehensively studied and red the whole book. So why is this so important? Because being a hollow person is at the heart of, the root of the narcissist's malignancy and toxicity. Malignancy and toxicity to themselves and to all that they come in contact with. Why is this so? Because the narcissist's loyalty to ideas means that they wed themselves to lies and truth becomes a casualty. Yes, the narcissist can never understand the value and the importance and the need for truth. The narcissist considers the truth the enemy, when in reality it is the truth and the truth alone that can free them from their own bondage. So what is wrong with being loyal to an idea? Maybe nothing at all if those ideas are positive and helpful to society, but the problem is always the same, truth can sometimes mean that we need to reevaluate our thought process and divorce ourselves from ideas that we have held all of our lives, because everything always has to be seen in light of new information. The only concept anyone should ever be wedded to is the truth and the truth alone. We should always be willing to lay any idea down when the new truth we have learned dictates that. Our concept of truth is only what we have learned, internalized and processed and it is an opinion, our most accurate and best guess as to what is true. But again we should always be willing to modify that idea we have of what we think the truth is. Is there an ultimate truth? Yes there is, but mere mortals will never be able to see things to that level of clarity. That is God's territory. So how does this apply to narcissists? Well the narcissist sees things totally differently. It's all about image and being seen as a fine person for the narc. Getting accolades and being at the cutting edge. There is no substance to what a narcissist believes or stands for. The narcissist looks at a modern society and then judges what is considered the most trendy and politically correct and most praiseworthy way of thinking in a society and then takes on all of those ideas and opinions as their own. They in effect become loyal to popular and mainstream opinion. Why does the narcissist do this? Because the narcissist is a hollow person with no moral compass and no motivation to seek the truth. It's all about appearance and being seen for the narc, their billboard. Now what if it becomes popular to be against something the narc previously supported? Well then the narc shifts that loyalty to the next popular item. What if it becomes trendy to be an independent thinker? The narc will then feign that also and be counter to things, but only after close observation of people with the genuine passion for change and then the narc will as closely as possible mimic that behavior. So an uninformed observer might actually believe a narc to be a dissident and on the surface that narc will appear to sound like one, but don't ask to many questions. The narc intuitively understands the weakness of any of their stances and this is one of the reasons the narc will never get into an actual substantive discussion on a topic they supposedly support. The narc isn't interested in the truth or to expose their weak understanding of a topic. Again to the narc it's all about maintaining that image, what is on the surface. The narc has no interest and sees no value in the truth if it isn't trendy and sees any attempts at a substantive discussion that may give ideas that are unpopular a seat in her mind as something that doesn't fit her agenda. The narc will never be seen as unpopular or ever have a politically incorrect idea unless of course it becomes trendy to be unpopular or politically incorrect. Then the narc will be all in. Now we might call this the end of the discussion, but we are dealing with a narcissist and so we need to go further. Now if the narc were a genuine person with an actual internal code of conduct and a way of thinking that was actually genuine they could then go into any setting and interact with numerous people as an integrated human being that has ideas that are different from those that are around them, but always willing to change their opinion if their internal truth is contradicted by something that is actually closer to the truth. But here is the problem for the narcissist. The narcissists, being that they are hollow people, have to create a false persona for any setting they are in. The narc couldn't possibly maintain 5 genuine personas, but the narc can very easily put on 5 distinct custom made masks (“hollow surface personas”) at any one time. So the narc sees no value or interest in developing themselves as a genuine human being. Instead the narc puts all of their energy into creating the illusions of being a certain type of person. So what suffers for all of this? Well the people around the narc suffer incredibly, especially when the narc decides they have mined all of their partner's resources, “sucked them dry”, so to speak. But the narc also suffers since they never grow as human beings, they simply shift from one false mask to the next, and this creates the utter turmoil and chaos that the narc spends every moment of every day in. The narc has no stability, no core that has grown over the course of their lives. This creates the insecurity that is at the heart of their malevolent behavior. Yes, the narcissist has insecurities and those insecurities mean that the narcissist intuitively knows that they are "different" from others and not necessarily in a good or superior way. But the narc can't handle that fact, so they constantly have to remind themselves of the falsehood that they are superior to others. Part of being superior to others means that they have to make others in their environment feel inferior to them. Anyone in the narc's environment that has more knowledge or ability is a sore spot for the narc, therefore the narc impulsively has to cut those people down. So, maybe the intent is motivated by a survival instinct. The narc can't imagine being inferior or wrong or bad. The narc can't see or understand that most people are neither all good or all bad and that an acknowledgment and awareness of their own "badness" or being wrong makes a "normal" person work on those areas and become better. The narc can only think in terms of superior or inferior, good or bad right or wrong and the narc always needs to be superior, good, and right, even if they are obviously inferior and wrong. The narc pulls this off in their mind by warping the reality around them and oftentimes enlisting others ("flying monkeys") to reinforce the false image of themselves. Yes the narc puts others down to make them inferior, but that isn't all they do. The narc will engage in a smear campaign or intimidate someone or even threaten or commit physical violence just to always be in the superior position. The position of control and command. So yes the narc may be motivated by the need to deny and drown out their own insecurities, but it goes without saying that the terrible acts they commit are never justified. Those acts are evil plain and simple. So the narc avoids growth and emotionally stays an immature child. So is there really an excuse that the narc can never change? That there upbringing or their genetics or a combination of both caused them to be who they are? So people claim the narc has an abnormal brain structure? Well the brain is plastic and flexible well into old age and that is simply not an acceptable excuse. For all we know years of abberant and evil behavior and a total ignoring of their own conscience and a refusal to feel any empathy or remorse caused the actual remodeling of that narc's brain. But just in case the excuse is made that the narc's brain started out with a deficit let's watch a brief clip from the Ted x talk titled “the woman who changed her brain”. A link of the full video is given at the beginning of the description. So many might not want to believe that the narcissist can change, but the narcissist could change if they so chose. It would take training themselves to respond to and grow their conscience, empathy, feelings of remorse and to try and understand what love really is and cultivate it. No we aren't living in the 1950's. Times have changed. The brain does have plasticity and the brain does restructure it's very physical anatomy with training, even in older people. So the narc has absolutely no excuse at all. They are fully responsible. The narc refuses to learn, the narc refuses to change, the narc refuses to humble themselves and give their life to God. Yes, it would be very convenient for the narcissist if everyone believed they couldn't change because of a brain abnormality, or because of their upbringing, or because of numerous other reasons. Many victims and most narcissists reinforce the notion that the narc can't change. The truth is the narc could change, but the narc refuses to change. The narcissist is inflexible and unteachable. That is by their choice. That makes their depraved and their terrible behavior all the more unacceptable and all the more evil. The narc no longer has any excuses for what they do. Yes the narc is fully responsible for all that they have done throughout their lives and they owe each and every one of their victims a heartfelt apology and the payment of compensation, with interest, for all that they have done. God and God alone can take away that debt. But the narc had better have a genuine conversion. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

Trust and the Narcissist: The narcissist trusts no one. They are suspicious of every word and gesture of those they come in contact with. This attitude is one of the many ways that narcissists make themselves dysfunctional and dissociate themselves with reality. The inability to trust makes narcs inefficient in all that they do and holds them back in many ways, but the narc never sees things that way. Yes, the narc views those who trust as dysfunctional and naive and the narc can point to numerous occasions where being trusting burnt the person who trusted. The narc never sees the big picture, the fact that we all understand that people can't be fully trusted and that the trust we give others is based on experience and testing the waters. So the trust a normal person places in another human being is earned by the person who receives that trust. This ability to give trust appropriately can only be learned by trusting, getting burned and then re-evaluating a healthier way of continuing to trust others. Of course the narc has a severe handicap when it comes to trust. They have only themselves to use as a reference point and the narc is totally aware of the treachery, deceit and duplicity that lurks inside of them. So the narc thinks any trust given to anyone is misplaced. Of course that is true only when a normal human being encounters a narc. Yes, the narc will take advantage of even the smallest amount of trust and belief we place in them. But the narc fails to see that trust is his or her problem, not a problem for normal people who don't seek to lie and deceive people in every way. Yes the narc deceives and plays their game for important things and even in the most trivial things. The narc is wedded to duplicity and will never come clean. Yes the narc will stick to the most insignificant lie and never admit to having lied. Even in the face of the truth. Why? Because the narc takes great pride in that ability to lie and also because the narc's flawless ability to lie relies on the narc themselves clinging to and believing that lie to be true. So what are the nuts and bolts of the narc's thought process with regard to trust? No one but the narc knows for sure, but let's do some informed speculation. Yes, I was intimately involved with a covert narc and actually put a huge effort in to try to understand her. So again, the narc views the average healthy person who trusts as a fool, as dysfunctional and views themselves as the wise functional person. The narc is well aware that the average person starts out with a baseline of trust that they extend to all people and the narc then seeks out that baseline as soon as they can. The narc then gets a foothold on that trust and after studying the victim gradually finds new ways of gaining the target's trust. Again in this scenario the narc always sees themselves as the superior and wise one. Regardless of the level of trust the narc finally obtains they then put that trust on the shelf to be used as a tool in the future when it is needed. To achieve a goal. Let's never forget that the people in the narc's environment are simply objects, appliances to be used and in this case the people will be used towards a goal. You could say that the narc is creating a group of “potential flying monkeys”. That goal could be to damage someone in what the narc considers their own self defense or to “get ahead”, used to get a relationship or job promotion, or used as a tool of treachery. The treachery is when the narc uses another person's good will and trust that they have obtained by duplicity and counterfeit concern and uses that trust to obtain information they then use to damage the person who gave it. Yes, I was an eye witness to that treachery and frankly it took my breath away to think that someone could be that duplicitous and actually use someone's love for them as a tool to damage that very person that cared about them. Yes the narc was actually proud of having been treacherous, she thought it quite an achievement. Never once considering the damage she was doing to others with her treachery or even considering the fact that treachery is evil. So let's illustrate these points, how the narcissist uses trust as a tool. So the narc makes friends and wins their confidence and trust. This could be on a social site or at the workplace or it could even be over the course of years as she gains the confidence of certain extended family members. Yes, the narc builds up trust wherever they go. Then the narc has a major disagreement with someone, or the narc is caught red handed lying, stealing, cheating, committing adultery, etc. The narc immediately uses the trust equity to circle the wagons and makes the person who she feels has wronged her an evil human being by fabricating a story that all of those who trust the narc will believe. If the narc can do this pre-emptively, before the other party has a chance to speak to others about it all the better, so she quickly swings into action. Oftentimes the narc already has another shelf full of feasible lies about that person that can be told to multiple groups of people. The stakes are much higher when the narc is caught doing questionable and embarrassing acts of evil so the narc goes many steps further. First she will try to get the observer to be a nice person and keep what they have observed to themselves. The person may then have to take some time to decide if it is the right thing to keep quiet or not. For example the revelation of a theft or of adultery may end up ruining the narc's job or relationship so the narc plays on that and makes sure she pleads a case to the observer that will make that observer stop and pause. Meanwhile, the narc has bought themselves precious time and immediately engages on a smear campaign to discredit that person with the knowledge of the narc's wrongdoing. The narc sees everything as a power play, a game. The worst thing for a narc is if someone else has damaging information on them. They automatically assume that that person will abuse that supposed power and the narc therefore makes sure the person is discredited and considered unreliable, or even crazy. So yes the narc sees trust as a tool, an insurance policy that he or she will use in any contingency. After all, insurance, a safety net is needed with the kind of questionable practices the narc engages in almost every day of the year. Under less stressful circumstances trust is merely used by the narc to smooth out their life. Make work a bit easier or make her home life easier. Yes the trust always gives a degree of comfort and gives the narc just a bit more wiggle room for practicing her unconventional lifestyle. Unconventional in the sense that the narc will always try to get away with one evil act or another. Living an honest transparent life means there are no opportunities to be covert. No fun for the narc. Yes an honest normal life is boring. Turmoil is all the narc knows and wants. Peace and tranquility and contentment again mean the narc is missing out, missing out on leading a double, triple, or quadruple covert existence. So what is it that the narc is missing out on, just not understanding about trust? Well trust is essential for anyone to be truly functional and achieve their highest potential. It is not naive to trust, it is always understood that people don't always tell the truth or have pure motives, but that is beside the point. To think clearly you take into account the inaccuracies in people's statements and impurity of their motives but to be functional you need to take most everything on face value, with a grain of salt. Constantly believing that people are looking for an edge or doing everything for ulterior motives means that you can never think clearly about anything, you can never make clear decisions or comprehend a situation in order to make those decisions sound. Instead, you are caught up in a never ending cycle of second guessing. The narc fails to realize that their endless second guessing takes them farther away from the truth and clouds the situation rather than giving clarity. Yes, taking things on face value will always invariably be as close to the truth as you can ever get. Can a person live a life under those conditions of never trusting or believing in the good of others? Yes they can, but that person will be functioning far below their potential and will miss out on the opportunities life gives all of us to grow and mature. So when does the average person's ability to trust become a problem, a stumbling block? Only in one instance, when they encounter a narcissist, a criminal, a killer, a psychopath. Being that the narc has no conscience, empathy or remorse there is very little to distinguish them from every other undesirable and evil person on earth. The narc is simply too cowardly to go the next step. But oh what they could achieve if they could get away with everything. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

What the Narcissist Finds At the “End of Themselves” : So a major tragedy has just brought you to the end of yourself and it gave you a rare opportunity to see what was there. What you find there can give you keen insight into what you truly value, what is important to you. It can show you clearly what type of person you genuinely are as opposed to who you think you are and show you what your real priorities in life are, not the ones you profess to yourself and to the world. This situation will also be a test of your genuine faith, not what you profess. So yes, that life changing event can give you profound insight if you use it as an opportunity, not a tragedy. How is this an opportunity? Well it is an opportunity to clearly see yourself as you are, clearly focus on every aspect of your life and being that you have at least for a short time divorced yourself of all of those things, you can pick and choose which one of your priorities to re-instate which to discard, and which priorities to add that were missing. The priorities you keep in your life can then be sorted in order of importance and you can then strengthen those which you deem most important and minimize those that are less important. How does this relate to the narcissist? Well, occasionally the narc's grand plan of deception that they have constructed falls in on them and their lives are also effected by their own duplicity. Yes, the narc got away with their evil time after time as they refined every aspect of their deception. They had the master plan in any current relationship all worked out with contingency plans for every scenario. Yes they worked out the practicability of every one of their actions and lies as they created the fantasy relationship with every victim and sold that relationship as the truth. Yes the narc was obsessed with their confidence game of making the victim believe that they genuinely cared and loved. In the past an occasional victim became wise to them early on and began exposing them for the frauds they were and the narc learned how to pre empt that same scenario from occurring in the future by setting up the next relationship with no loose ends. The narc already had two or three feasible exit plans all worked out and in most cases the victims believed everything, and the drained victim simply went quietly away, never understanding why they were so destroyed. Most of the time the narc convinced the victim that they themselves were to blame for the relationship ending, leaving the narc free to pursue their next fantasy relationship. So yes, the aged narc preserved their immaturity all the while their duplicity, lying, treachery was becoming more and more mature. So the narc's world has hit a major brick wall and not only one mask has been found out but now multiple other masks are potentially going to fall. The narc then garners every one of their matured skills of evil to once again produce feasible explanations to all of those remaining people in their lives, each of those explanations custom tailored for each mask that remained intact. So we now clearly see the difference between what happens to a narc when they come to the end of themselves and the victim. The narc finds a duplicitous, disloyal beast in that brief glimpse of self-revelation and doesn't even glance at what is in front of her or him. Instead they immediately look away and that exposed inner world of theirs is quickly covered up by the most convenient means possible and a new facade is created. No, the narc never skips a beat, never stops and pauses, they simply use that tragedy to become a more refined ghoul. So how can we illustrate the above points just made? Well, lets create some fiction and describe for example, a woman who grows up with a narcissistic mother and maybe is torn between the impulses she has to be just like her mother, who she is repulsed by, or to go a different direction altogether. So maybe the child has some empathy and conscience and remorse mixed in with her strong narcissistic tendencies. Her solution is to pick and choose when to turn her narcissism on and off and when to turn her empathy on and off. So in effect she has turned herself into a classic covert narcissist. She herself sees things differently. In her mind her overtly narcissistic mother is evil and naive and she, the covert narc, is the wise one, the intelligent one, the superior one, the good one. Yes the covert narc sees themselves superior to both the overt narc and the empath who tries to minimize the narcissistic tendencies we all have as people. The covert narc sees herself as self-aware and in control of herself, of course that is just a delusion, but where that delusion becomes dangerous to the rest of the world is when the narc considers themselves in control of their whole environment, the environment they share with other people. That is the root cause of what makes narcissists treat other people as objects to be used. So without knowing it the covert narc has actually become far less aware of reality than her overtly selfish, narcissistic mother. Her overt narc mother at least knew what she was and strangely enough in her own way that mother at least did have some capacity for genuine loyalty and love. So the pattern created as a child, what that covert narc has come to the conclusion is the middle way: to balance overt narcissism and empathy, transfers into every relationship the narc ever has. In every single scenario, be it with an em path or with a narc she sees herself as the superior one, the enlightened one. Each relationship the narc engages in is simply an experiment and a learning experience to see what traits of every one of her lovers she can learn and understand and incorporate into her next fantasy persona otherwise known as a false mask that she creates for the next relationship. Yes the narc never forms any emotional attachment to any of her former partners and she freely takes all of that previous partner's intimate details, detaches them and re purposes those traits as her own. She in effect plagiarizes anything she sees useful that she has extracted from the previous partner and coldly, callously moves on to the next relationship. So the narc will then collect more useful traits from every subsequent relationship and once she has mined all that is useful she moves on to the next victim. That is why the narc sees every prospective partner as simply a source. A source of immediate energy to drain and a source of new material to use for the next performance or act that she will undoubtedly create in the future. Yes the narc is already getting material for her next grand performance, her next production. She will create the new fake persona where she will be the leading lady, the queen, and she will be the production designer and create a whole new environment or “world” from scratch and she will be the director of that new production. Yes, in effect the narc is like a movie maker, but she lives out her productions in real life with every person she comes in contact with as a mere pawn in her game. Life goes on and eventually the covert narc decides on something different. Why not have a long term relationship and see what that is like, since she never tried that before. Plus, it may give her more comfort and provide her with the resources to do even more covert elaborate productions. So, in effect the covert narc can once again be above it all and have the best of both worlds: a stable relationship and the pleasure of multiple covert new relationships to continue mining from. So the narc comes up with all sorts of new scenarios to find partners willing to engage in adulterous affairs with her. The fact that she is married is actually an asset, giving her an “out” any time one of her covert relationships is no longer wanted once it has been thoroughly mined of all of it's resources. But eventually the narc tires of the long term relationship and ends that looking for her next option. Oh yes the narc is still going to use the discarded ex husband as a source of comfort while she freely shops the market and decides if she wants numerous short term relationships or maybe finds another source of comfort that she can use in another fake long term scenario. With today's modern society the excuse will be she never wants to get married again. But then the narc meets someone that she never knew existed, a person known as a super em path. The super em path is someone that is benign and kind and harmless, a person who trusts but when pushed to the limit will be more than a match for the narcissist. The covert narc doesn't see it though, to her he is like putty in her hands, a naive fool that she can toy with as she pleases. Yes she can lie to this person with one hand tied behind her back and she can play with his emotions at will, with him being totally unaware. Years go by and she eventually tires of that relationship, since that em path does have a moral code and that means she can't manipulate him at will, so she then decides it's time to slowly extract herself. Unfortunately for the narc her mask slips off at the worst time and she fully exposes herself for the fraud that she is far earlier than she had anticipated. Unbeknownst to her the em path has been paying attention, has been analyzing the situation, has been aware for all of those years. That is when the carefully laid plans for extraction fall to pieces around her and her victim. The narc then engages in a salvage program, totally vaporizing the previous partner's life and having to make due with an only partially created new persona and only partially built next production. She quickly instates to full status one of the many targets she has been trolling for and uses him to help destroy her previous partner. How easy that was, since she simply demonizes her former partner and uses the new partner as the person saving her from the vicious evil previous partner. Classic damsel in distress knight in shining armor routine. Works every time. She simply walks away from the relationship and refuses any attempt at the previous partner to get any answers. But the super em path will not just curl up and die after the narc takes a sledgehammer to the fantasy world she created for the both of them. A world the em path believed was real. He may be harmless, but he will relentlessly pursue answers and he does eventually get clarity on what was going on. With no help from the narc. Yes, eventually the em path gets all of the answers and in that pursuit many unexpected sources give him more information than he could have ever gotten on his own. So the em path target gets his answers, learns, moves on and grows. He came to the end of himself and used it to his advantage. Now let's answer the question posed by the title: what does the narc find at the end of themselves? What is it that the narc couldn't stand to look at when it was clear for her to see, but she looked away instead? It was a clear view of the hideous creature that lurks behind all of her masks, the core of her being and even one glimpse at that creature would have haunted her for the rest of her life, so she refused to look. That creature is an immature five year old that never grew up and is living inside the body of a full grown demon. Better not to look and move on for the narc. But there will be no growth as the narc slips ever deeper into her dark world. Sad. Yes, even the narc could possibly deserve some pity, but the enormous pain and suffering she has caused eclipses all of that pity. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

Victory Over the Narcissist: The Narcissist is fixated on victory, being the winner. The narc gets the greatest pleasure out of totally destroying their former partner, then coming back for a victory lap and telling the broken victim to get over it. Of course this is ideal for the narc, they have exacted their revenge for supposed wrongs done to them by using their well refined tools of gaslighting, threats of violence and actual physical assault and they got away with all of it. So their crowning achievement is to go back to the victim and tell them to get over it. How convenient. The narc is in effect saying I destroyed you, I took everything you had. Now its time for you to accept that I won and walk away. Yes the narc is quite smug, and that haughty smirk of self satisfaction means they have come out on top yet again. Another achievement that proves they are superior to another human being. Another notch on their belt. Yes, you the victim are just supposed to accept the superiority, the dominance of the narcissist. So, of course being that you are a human being it is natural that you will have deep anger and resentment welling up inside of you. That anger grows into fury as you regain your senses and see more and more clearly how the duplicitous narc played you for a fool and was never at all genuine in any of their actions or words. No one who treated you the way the narc did could have ever really loved you or cared about you at all. So now you look back on that fraudulent relationship in an effort to find the answers to all of the questions. Questions that the narc would never answer, since they simply abandoned the relationship and refused to give any closure at all. You go on a journey, a quest to find out what was really going on in the relationship. Getting those answers can take weeks and months as you reinterpret every moment with the narc and analyze it piece by piece to understand what the narc was actually doing while they called themselves your lifetime partner. You reinterpret what the narc actually meant in all of your conversations together. You look back on all of those moments when you had doubts about the narc's integrity and you now realize that it was your intuition speaking to you or something else inside of you that was trying to warn you, but you simply ignored the warnings. Yes the narc was a fraud, a phony through and through and the more you realize that, the angrier you get. The more you realize the extent of the narc's duplicity, the extent of the lies and deceit, the more you comprehend the narc's total lack of respect for you as a human being, the angrier you get. Then on top of all of that you recount the abuse and remember all of the excuses you made for it and that gets you even angrier, at yourself, but even more so at the narc, because now you see clearly that that abuse was coming from a dark place that was devoid of love and more importantly that abuse was specifically designed to damage you. No, that wasn't tough love the narc was dishing out as you previously thought. It was pure malevolent evil for the sake of extracting the sick pleasure of causing you emotional pain. So the thoughts of all that was done to you as you recount the abuse generates anger and resentment. Those emotions can overwhelm you , make you bitter and eventually destroy you, if you allow them to. So then we come to the subject of the video: having victory over the narcissist. Yes there are numerous ways of getting even with the narc and many will give you ideas or methods on how that can be achieved. Early after the abuse we all would love the opportunity to pay back every ounce of pain that narc inflicted upon us and that might be normal while we are still disoriented and unsure of what just happened to us. But here is the problem, we are playing by the narc's rules to get even with them on their terms. Does it really constitute a victory if we are able to torment or gaslight or deceive a narc, if we terrorize them and make them constantly look over their shoulder? Well one commenter on my page who redacted their comment boasted about physically harming a narc and getting away with it. That might have been a narc troll or just someone making up a story I can't say, but think about the implications. So now we victims are supposed to play by the narc's rules and act like a narc to get a supposed victory? In my opinion that is a loss and it means the narc has made you lose a piece of your humanity. Now please don't misunderstand, I would have taken the opportunity to extract revenge myself right after the discard by simply giving the narc a dose of their own medicine, within reason. Yes it would have been something that I wouldn't regret or have to feel guilty about the rest of my life, it would have been relatively benign in comparison to what the narc did to me, but in it's own way it would have given me the satisfaction of a small victory. I get that and can understand, but to do physical violence or inflict anywhere near the emotional pain the narc inflicted upon you, NO WAY. So how do we get victory over the narcissist? Here is my opinion. First and foremost it is WE, not the narcissist who make the rules and it is WE who decide what constitutes a victory. We are in control, NOT the narcissist and we create the criteria for victory. Leave the narc in their swamp. If we want victory over the narc it is our responsibility to educate and inform ourselves about narcissism. It is our responsibility to try and understand what happened to us in the relationship by applying all that we have learned. It is our responsibility to measure our progress. Are we getting better, becoming more joyful and productive week to week, month to month? If so we are on the right track. It is our responsibility to avoid becoming bitter and we need to work on the resentment and anger. I know of no better way than leaving the narcissist totally in the hands of God and in so doing we remove the heavy burden of wanting to seek vengeance from our shoulders. It is our responsibility to understand what it was inside of us that attracted us to the narc and attracted the narc to us. It is our responsibility to understand that we weren't to blame for the abuse the narc inflicted upon us. Finally it is we and we alone who decide when we no longer need to think about our abuse. We take as long as we need to. There is nothing wrong with dwelling on the abuse as long as we are headed on the path of healing and we are able to measure real progress in our lives. We owe it to ourselves to heal and yes move on when we are ready and we decide. No one is qualified to tell us when that is. If we follow the steps of healing and growth, do the work, eliminate the anger, then hope and joy return to our lives and when we begin to see that progress it gives us an added lift. That is the victory that we as victims who later just think of ourselves as targets are looking for. If we can look back on that interaction with the narc and see that we never sank to the level of the narc, we never returned evil for evil and we are healing then we have achieved the ultimate victory. Yes, victory over the narcissist means we have not allowed the narc to dim our light, have not allowed them to steal any more of our joy. The work we have done to achieve that victory of becoming a fully functioning and joyful human being is ours and ours alone and we may be better off than before the narc came into our lives. Let's be clear though, the narc gets no credit. Similar things occur to people when they get a diagnosis of a disease or have an accident with severe physical trauma, or have their whole environment destroyed by a natural disaster. Yes, we take stock of our lives after major tragedies and maybe have a firmer grip on life, a more focused idea of our life's purpose, a more defined sense of what is important, a clearer sense of what our priorities should be. We might gain a greater appreciation of the simple things in life and regain a sense of joy in those simpler things. But no one would ever give the credit to the tragedy for improving our lives. That was our victory and for the believer it isn't their victory at all, it is God's victory as we get out of His way and listened for His directions. Let's give the full text of Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.” It clearly states that we should stay out of the way and leave the vengeance to God. Good advice from the Creator of the Universe and all that is in it. So to put it in simple terms. The best revenge for the victim is moving on and living a joyful happy life free of resentment and full of joy and hope. That is the true victory. The victory that we work hard to achieve every day. The narc can have their hollow victory gained by doing the most unimaginable evil. We have the genuine, the real victory. The narc's victory is fake and counterfeit and their joy is also fake. Only total denial and self deception can make the narc's victory appear as real, but the narc's victory will NEVER be real. The narc's punishment for all of their evil will be real though, with no possibility of the narc denying it. To put things another way, the Narc blew up your life leaving you to pick up the pieces, disoriented. As you slowly came to your senses and began putting back together the pieces of your life you eventually came to a fork in the road. You had a choice. You could choose the path of vengeance and have a false victory or you could take the road of genuine victory, rebuild your life and choose to leave the narc to their own fate. The path of vengeance is the same path the narc always takes and for the victim this path leads to bitterness and resentment. To get to a point of true healing you have to retrace your steps all the way to that fork in the road in order to get to the path of true, genuine victory. As you walk down that path of victory and look back you will realize you are on the right track and you would never want to go back to that fork in the road again. Thank you for watching, comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.