The Narcissist and Their Obsession With Karma: Nowhere in the Bible does it state explicitly that there is an “age of accountability”, but there are many implications that people without the capacity to understand certain concepts are given a pass by God, at least to the extent of their incapacity. That just makes sense, being that God is a God of love as well as a God of justice. But again everyone needs to be careful when describing God and we should never overstep our bounds and be definitive about what God's true nature is. We as mortals and created beings are merely speculating. It is an informed opinion since we use the only source available that describes the nature of God, that being the Bible. Only when that accurate source, describing God in terms that humans can understand, is misinterpreted do all sorts of unusual opinions about God manifest. But an accurate view of what life's meaning and purpose for ourselves as individuals is and humanity in general is requires us to try the best we can to understand God's nature. So the concept of an “age of accountability” does have it's purpose. Yes there are Christian covert narcissists, but if they are a true narcopath they are merely putting on an elaborate act. Saying and doing all of the correct things publicly, but having selfish and misguided motivations for all of that apparent piety. Yes, Jesus called out the Pharisees for their public professions of worship. Jesus called them “the Synagogue of Satan”, what better way to describe a religious narcissist, since it has been established that the man behind the curtain for every single covert narcissist is the being that pretends to be an “angel of light”, Lucifer, Satan. Even if that narcissist is demon possessed, the being calling the shots is still the devil himself. Even if that narc professes Christianity. Even if that narc professes to not believe in any God at all, and is living as the captain of their own destiny. No matter what the scenario or philosophy the true driving force behind that covert narc is Satan and no other. It gives the devil no end of satisfaction to be the master of someone who doesn't believe he exists. Yes that narc is a puppet on a string and has even convinced themselves there are no strings attached to them. So when we get to the subject of having to pay for our wrongful acts of either omission or commission the narc is first in line to come up with their own self constructed framework of how others pay for the wrongs they have done. The narc does this by making themselves the god of their own world and therefore only they have the authority to decide what is considered a “sin” or “wrong” and only they decide how severe the judgment or punishment will be that is doled out. Any person who fails to see and acknowledge the deity of the narc will receive the harshest treatment of all. Any person who dares to deem themselves even close to, or on the same level as the narc will receive harsh judgment. After all the narc is so far above mere mortals that the narc considers it blasphemy for anyone to speak of the narc as if that narc were there equal and sacrilege if they don't praise that narc and believe every one of their lies without any question or scrutiny. Yes, it's considered apostasy if the victim actually disagrees with the strict rules and guidelines of the narc's warped fantasy world, the rules that the narc has imposed on those closest to them. So the Biblical concept of a God that makes the rules, is the Creator and is in charge doesn't wash well with the covert narcissist. The concept of sin means that there is a standard and that implies that the standard is made by someone other than the narc, a greater being. The narc can never acknowledge that there is a being greater than themselves in their hearts, but the narc will utter all of the right words from their lips, just as long as the core being is allowed to be the actual and true god of their world. No the narc will never give up that reign. So that is the Christian narc as well as narcs practicing other Monotheistic religions. But the narc has another option, that of believing that God is not an actual entity, not a being, but rather god is simply an impersonal force. That concept appeals greatly to the narcissist. The narc loves the fact that they don't need to use precious resources on giving the appearance of worshiping what they consider the rigid notion of one great unknowable being but instead they can simply believe in the concept of karma. Yes karma appeals to the narcissist because they can make it an impersonal force and use such terms as “what goes around comes around”. The narc can define the karma that they create for themselves as “male”, “female” or gender-less and totally eliminate the concept of god. If the narc wants to give credence to the concept of god, they can also make their self created god male or female or no sex what soever . The narc can form an idol out of clay or metal and call that idol god. In every instance the god of the narc is a god that is less than the narc themselves, a god that was created by and given life by the narc. So in essence the narc has found the perfect solution in that case. Yes the narc can acknowledge “god” without ever considering themselves lesser than or subservient to the god that they create for themselves. So karma is perfect for the narc because the concept is so ambiguous and open to interpretation that the narc can literally craft their own personal version of karma and that means this “cosmic impersonal retribution” is whatever they want it to be. Yes, being that the narc either consciously or unconsciously considers themselves the master of their environment the narc has great comfort in knowing that they themselves are the arbiters of right and wrong. Therefore any action of the narcissist is judged by the narc and the narc alone. Yes, the narc and the narc alone decides what is right and what is wrong and the narc decides what punishments will be appropriate for any offense. So is it any wonder that the narc is easy on themselves and quite harsh when it comes to the slightest offense by another individual? Yes those “wrongs” are sinful even if the actions of others weren't wrong at all. If the narc perceives something to be wrong it is wrong and the narc will be the sole arbiter of what the punishment should be. So it becomes clear that the concept of karma, being as malleable as it is, becomes the perfect solution for the narcissist. After all that narc can shape karma to be whatever that narc decides and can shift that definition whenever they feel the need to. So karma is the perfect solution to both absolve the covert narcissist of the most egregious depraved actions and convict any other person of the most minor offense, even if that other person did absolutely nothing wrong. Of course there are occasions when someone actually does purposely harm the narc and in those circumstances the narc viciously attacks, since they consider this an act of blasphemy if that person contradicts them, corrects them, or actually says something that is anything less than complimentary. Yes the narc must be praised at all times, never corrected and never have anything they say questioned. Similarly, any notion any other person has that they are the equal of the narc is an act of sacrilege that requires severe punishment, has severe consequences. Now the motivations of that narc that makes them be compelled to see themselves as god have been covered previously, but the bottom line is that deep down the narc knows they are actually deficient when compared to others, therefore any person that the narc has in their environment has to be downgraded no matter what their accomplishment or the narc's supremacy in their own mind would be challenged. After all a god has no equal, no one can even come close to being at the level of a god and the narc absolutely has to be god to maintain their deluded and over-inflated opinion of themselves. So yes the narc never forgets and always has to come out on top. The narc can never be bested or out maneuvered at their own game of life. That would be the ultimate threat to that counterfeit monotheistic world view that they have, where there is only one god and they are that being. The narc can't conceive of any of their victims retaining even an ounce of self respect and self esteem and the narc is particularly enraged when a previous victim has healed and even prospered in their absence. But even then the narc knows the implications of coming up against someone that has prevailed despite everything they threw at that person. The narc will never acknowledge it to themselves, but they will have to shift their strategy if they are to continue their campaign of destruction. So the narc will seek third parties, flying monkeys and have them do their bidding. Yes the narc will be miles away when those flying monkeys do their bidding. The narc will entrance, then enlist people from half way around the world, that they think can't be traced back to them. The narc will enlist any person they know with any form of authority. The narc will do anything it takes to demonize that previous partner by weaving a false narrative portraying that former partner as pure evil. The narc will use anything at their disposal and if it is required put on the perfect act of humanitarian so that they can enlist flying monkeys that are dupes, good people that are totally unaware that they are being used as instruments of evil. The other type of flying monkey is well aware of the evil they are doing so the narc uses different methods to motivate this group. Yes, a narcissist may have been blessed with beauty, so they use that gift given them and leverage it to manipulate some people to do their bidding. Other members of the opposite sex will do what the narc wants regardless of what is asked, because they are so entranced by the angelic appearance of that narcopath. Who can resist a gorgeous damsel in distress? I say this because I do believe such narcissists exist although I can't say I witnessed this personally. The person I was with was quite attractive and being that I loved her was always considered the best looking of all women by myself. I told her this all of the time. But the creep took that opinion literally, never understanding that love idealizes the partner forever, because that idealization, blindness to a person's shortcomings, is a function of love and creates a stable lifelong bond. The narc doesn't get it. To the narc, the idealization they bestow upon others is just a tool of manipulation but the idealization they receive from others is justified, self evident and taken for granted. No, the narc never appreciates that devotion of their partner towards them for what it actually is, simply a function of love, instead for the narc it is merely an affirmation of the obvious, that the narc is superior. The unfortunate truth that the narc may just be above average physically and hardly a catch when it comes to their personality doesn't even figure in for the narc. The fact that their targeted current partner may have had previous partners far superior to them is never even considered by the narc. Yes the victim could do better, but only an arrogant narcissist would think that way. A person who genuinely loves someone makes due with what they have in a relationship and cherishes that with gratitude. Yes, genuine relationships are exclusive. Neither loyalty nor confidences are shared with the outside world by two people in an exclusive relationship. But when a genuine person is in a relationship with a phony narcopath all bets are off as far as the narc is concerned. Yes, loyalty is given to the highest bidder without any consideration for a previous commitment made. Of course the victim has to be fully loyal and committed to the narc, but the narc, being that they are a god is never constrained by those restraints or parameters. Boundaries and rules of conduct only apply to others, never the narc. So here is where many a narc ends up destroying themselves. Yes that narc is a mere mortal, a created being. Yes, there is a higher being. The one and only God. Yes God makes the rules and not the narcissist. Yes, God is patient. So for years the narc plies their trade and refines their lying treacherous ways and for years God is patient. The problem with the narc is that getting away with treachery has made them quite bold and convinced that they have figured out all of the angles of life. But behind the scenes God was carefully observing, carefully noting every detail of that narc's evil duplicity and God was patient. But the narc, being totally convinced of their own godhood lost track of the reality of life: namely that God exists and is apart from humanity and is the creator of humanity and is the one who makes the rules. God has no use for karma, His concept is “you reap what you sew” and His rules and regulations are not at all arbitrary or ambiguous. Yes, God laid out the things He considers unacceptable, what He calls “sin” and God's standards don't change with the times or with the circumstances. Similarly God has set up punishments for those who go against His standards of conduct. There is no ambiguity in what is considered right and wrong or who is in charge. There is no ambiguity whatsoever that God created man and God makes the rules. There is no ambiguity whatsoever that Man, this earth and the universe were created by God for His purposes. But the narc has gotten away with so much evil over the course of their lives they are totally blind to reality. The world as it actually is. Yes, for the narcissist the world was created by them for their own purposes. The universe, the world, and those who live in that world were all there for the use and benefit of the narcissist and the narcissist alone. So it then becomes clear why the narc just loves karma. The fickle nature and application of karma will always be warped to fit and fulfill the purposes of the narcissist and always pour retribution on anyone the narc deems in need of it. But the narc is delusional and even though they have enlisted flying monkeys that were fed lies and disinformation the narc is in grievous error and has placed themselves in a contest with the real God. So that narc, thinking they have the universe and the world and karma on their side has no idea of what they are up against and the danger they are in. So then the narc unwittingly walks to a battle with the real God, never having understood His patience and long suffering. That narc never understood that there is a point of no return, an “age of accountability”, a time when God's patience simply runs out and the need to put an end to the narc's treachery is needed. Yes, the narc is walking into a trap that they themselves have constructed. Yes the narc's downfall will occur by their own hand. So the narc is given a free pass. They assault a previous partner, make one threat after another in an attempt to destroy that person, their livelihood and their psychological stability. Yes, the narc may actually even get a person close to ending it all. But the narc has been given that free pass. They were given the gift of that victim not seeking vengeance, they were given the gift of never having one threat made against them. They were given the gift of no malice to them, other than measures the victim had to take in self defense. But instead of being grateful, the narc is proud of their own treachery and is now fully convinced of their own invincibility. They gloat about their superiority, but then something unfortunate occurs. The victim doesn't just crawl in a hole and die. The victim fights for their existence and then the supremacy of that narc and their celebratory mood is reigned in and to the narc that tarnishes their dark victory. This disturbs the narc greatly. Yes, that narc can never be satisfied with victory and getting away with everything and leaving that victim far worse off than they were before that narc made their appearance. No the narc, being that they have appointed themselves god and the person who makes the rules, decides that the victim needs to have “karma” visit itself upon the victim. Yes, that victim has to have further damage done to them. So flying monkeys are groomed and everything at the narc's disposal is enlisted to pulverize that victim and destroy everything that was rebuilt. But the narc is in grievous error. God is watching and His patience has come to an end and that narc is stepping into a trap that will destroy them. But the narc is blind to all of that and marches to their ruination with the self same arrogant swagger that they always had every time they got away with their treachery. Yes, the narc has overplayed their hand and is now up against the real God. Sadly, no amount of warning will prevent the narc on their path of self destruction. Yes ultimately the narc will feel the presence of the real God, a God who was far more patient with them than they could ever imagine. So when a potential flying monkey tells the victim “karma is coming”, here is one response: Yes it is. The victim leaves it in God's hands and the narc will eventually get everything they deserve. The Bible calls this "you reap what you sew". So when a narcissist viciously attacks and threatens a person that just days previous they told "I love you" and leaves that person's life broken into a million pieces, never having any remorse whatsoever that narc may think "they won" and got their revenge. That was revenge for a totally fabricated "wrong" done to them. The narc may be convinced that their actions were correct and justified. That narc may be convinced that the collateral damage they suffered was their paying for any mistakes that they made. But that narc is in error. Those vicious attacks and threats were never yet even addressed by "Karma" as you say. So then the narc ex teams up with another narc, a male “friend” that suddenly appears out of nowhere and decides to strong-arm the female narc's ex partner. Yes a "do-gooder", nothing more than a weasel interloper Kowurt (letters chosen carefully) gets in the way of two people who need resolution and thinks they are doing good for "altruistic" reasons and makes threats to someone they don't even know. That creates all sorts of unintended consequences. But again the true victim is blamed and the weasel narc feels totally justified. So here is the problem: both of those narcissists have set themselves up for extremely negative "karma" (I will use your term even though it is inaccurate) and think the fault lies with the victim. The victim on the other hand has moved on, never even making one ounce of effort to harm that narc or the weasel. Yes the weasel was confronted for a man to man meeting, but he ran to the police. So other than that the ex partner never made even one threat. The victim has used their faith to overcome that need for "getting even". But the narcs, being that they are a narcissists, can't even fathom taking any personal responsibility for anything, so when the narc's life takes a turn for the worse and the repercussions for the abuse they heaped on the victim start "coming home to roost", the narc automatically needs to once again blame the victim. But that victim has left it all in God's hands and will remain harmless. The narc that thinks they want another round will destroy themselves. Why? Because "thinking themselves wise, they became fools". "The fool sayeth in their heart there is no God". " For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape." Just like the Pharaoh in the ten commandments who refused to believe in God. That stiff-necked attitude eventually hardened their heart and then God made His presence felt. The narc of course will even then refuse to understand that they are no longer fighting a battle against the victim/target, but instead are coming face to face with the real God, the one and only God. Good luck with that. By the way there is a way of tracing every comment back to the commenter, especially when a carefully selected series of "random comments" have been carefully documented and chronicled. Yes threats on social sites are no longer considered benign and the repercussions to those who think they are anonymous will be felt, eventually. So yes the "knight in shining armor" will be the one who does the bidding of a covert narc and that covert narc will be miles away and totally disconnected as her "savior" "helps" her. But "karma" (your term) has a way of intervening in a very palpable way. There is one additional thing to note and that is that no victim should ever leave themselves vulnerable to attack and they should always be willing and able to defend themselves if it is necessary. Although this may not apply to us as individuals in our present situation, never forget that God did command individuals and groups of people to be aggressors in the past, but as victims we should never ever consider anything but being defensive. Our goal is to remain harmless, but be prepared if that narc thinks they will encounter the same mild, ill prepared, naive person that they originally decided was a good source of energy, a victim to suck dry. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

The Narcissist Has No Respect: The narcissist has no respect for anyone or anything. They don't respect their parents growing up. They don't respect relatives. They don't respect their peers. As the narc matures and is expected to act as an adult their lack of respect becomes more covert. Yes, the narc did learn one thing: to get any sort of response from others around them they do need to emulate, to fake, respect. Yes, the narc learned early on that respect is something that human beings expect from each other. Respect is given and received in a normal exchange between two people. So the narc did understand that totally and they used that fake respect to manipulate those around them. Yes when the narc wanted something from mom or dad they feigned obedience and even reverence for their parents and to not give themselves away they gradually, seamlessly reverted back to disdain once that item was obtained. The narc knew full well that insubordination was frowned upon by their superiors and the last thing the narc wanted was to let it slip that the narc never really considered those superiors even equal to them. Yes the narc considered every authority figure in their lives inferior to them from as early as they could begin to think of those around them. Only as the narc got older did that narc realize that they had to keep that dark secret of having disdain for everyone around them concealed. Yes, society frowned upon that. So yes that narc never had any respect for any human being, but they also had absolutely zero respect for institutions. The narc didn't buy into the family hierarchy at all since they never felt it was appropriate for their parents to have authority over them. The narc felt the same way about school, why in the world should they be forced to listen to those teachers when the narc, at least in their mind already knew it all. Yes that narc was always inflexible and unteachable, but the narc did learn. That learning was all on the narc's terms, however. Yes, the narc would educate themselves, picking and choosing what to study. Those studies were quite unconventional. No, their were no guidebooks or classes on being the best liar in the room. There were no AP classes in treachery and deceit. Gaslighting wasn't even a subject to be studied, because even to this day that word and all of its meaning has yet to be mainstream. So the narc did learn and learn quite well, it just wasn't learning that would benefit society. It was learning solely for the purpose and benefit of the narc and the narc alone. That learning did become more beneficial to society however when the narc realized that they needed to work for a living to get money and all of the things that they wanted for themselves. So the narc readily received their training and mastered the skills to fulfill their tasks in any job they took, but that learning was solely for selfish reasons, the side effect was that the narc actually was a productive individual. Yes, productivity was a mere unintended consequence. But make no mistake the narc milked everything they could to leverage that productivity as efficiently as possible. Yes, any good thing the narc did always had to give maximum benefit to the narc and the bare minimum to others. So typically the narc gave the appearance of building one position up after another and seemed like a loyal employee, but when that position was mined for every ounce of benefit, or a new and better opportunity arose, the narc abandoned their post for fresher ground. Yes that “loyal” narc employee was always looking for a better opportunity. The search was done carefully, behind the employer's back, and then the narc's excuse for leaving was that “an opportunity” was presented to them serendipitously, without any effort being put in on their part. Yes, it was an offer the narc just couldn't refuse. It is uncanny how the narc cheated on their employer just like they cheated on their partners. The narc is always looking for a newer, a fresher opportunity and they see no reason to allow a little thing like commitment and respect and loyalty to get in their way. Promises either explicit or implied can always be gaslit out of existence as the narc rewrites history and moves on to their new supply. Yes, the long list of employment positions is only rivaled by the narc's personal endeavors in relationships. But the narc was well aware of the need for references and was very delicate and gentle in moving from one job to the next. Yes, leaving on good terms was important, but of course the narc frequently revealed their treachery in one job or another and the way that narc dealt with those failures to fully deceive was to simply leave holes in their resume and call themselves a caretaker of an elder or a stay at home parent, or any other feasible excuse. Yes the narc I was with actually called herself a “homemaker”, O K. The reality is that many of those spaces in the resume are actually nuclear disasters that left the employer in a huge bind and required huge effort to repair the damage that was done. But the narc leveraged it all and always made sure their reputation or billboard was intact. Those messy departures from one job or another were always followed with threats and in the modern day workplace it is in the employer's interest to let things slide. After all that employer has actual responsibilities and a true commitment to the services and products they provide. The employer needs to focus on the actual work that needs to be done. So that is the narc in the workplace and the common theme there is that they have no respect for anyone that is in authority over them. They simply feign respect because it is a necessary tool to get what they want. The narc is no different in their relationships. The narc never respected a single one of the long list of partners they accumulated over their lifetime. Oh yes, the narc felt themselves quite generous if they let a current partner go gently, with one lame excuse or another. The real reason was almost invariably that a new partner was already obtained and the narc needed to do housecleaning. Yes, a clean departure would allow the narc to enjoy that new relationship unencumbered. So it's clear that the gentle release was simply because it benefited the narc. How else can we know this? Well, once the narc had fresh supply, they simply had no incentive or motivation to put effort into the existing relationship, so the narc frequently got sloppy and blew their cover. After all that victim wasn't really even worth any more effort. As a result the narc either inadvertently or by design revealed the calloused, heartless, depraved creature under the mask right in front of their soon to be ex partner. After all, that narc no longer had anything to lose. So in that scenario the narc showed their true nature and didn't feel any need whatsoever to feign respect for that discarded partner. Yes, the narc was ruthless and displayed a chilling lack of even an ounce of humanity. If it isn't in the narc's interest they don't expend any energy whatsoever on another human being. Yes, the narc actually wants to lose that partner, so why show any respect. Instead the narc puts their lack of respect for another person on full display and when the victim is exposed to that level of depravity it shocks them to the core. Yes the narc exposed themselves in the heat of the moment and this gave them an immediate benefit. But long term that narc created a problem for themselves since now there was someone who knew their secret, knew the truth. Gaslighting, reframing and a total rewrite of the past was used on the victim to confuse and disorient them. Lies, slander, treachery, and bearing false witness was used to repudiate the victim to those outside of the relationship. Yes, a smear campaign with flying monkeys is the narc's cure all for everything when they can no longer pull the wool over the victim's eyes or silence them. But a victim that educates themselves and puts together the pieces will know the narc's game. That victim will heal no matter how many flying monkeys or tools of the trade the narc uses against them. The narc's lack of respect extends to God as well. The narc may convince themselves they are worshiping God, but make no mistake, deep inside, at the subconscious level the narc believes themselves to be god. The narc will always have full authority in their own lives and never truly submit to or even admit to the existence of a higher power. In the narc's mind the definition of God is open to interpretation. Even if that narc professes Christianity that narc's god is subject to the narc's rules. Talk about the Almighty God and the rules laid down by that Supreme Being and the narc will give lip service and agree, but no way would that type of God, the true God, ever be acceptable to a narcissist. That God would require the narc's respect. No, the narc will keep the god of their creation, the god that they can redefine whenever necessary. The god that decides that everything the narc does is correct and noble no matter how depraved or evil. The god that lets the narc do and say whatever they want to do. The god that respects the narc. Now it becomes clear why a green jade Buddha is the narc's perfect false idol. So any appearance the narc gives of allowing God authority in their lives is a mere act. Yes the pattern that they show in their work and personal life extends to their relationship with God. Religion is seen as merely a very useful tool to make others regard them as fine human beings, as good people, but the pattern is exactly the same. The narc is simply counterfeiting the appearance of piety to bolster their billboard. Conversely, if atheism is considered the “in” thing with a group they want to be a part of, that narc will emulate that as well. Feigning atheism is one of the few times that the narc is portraying a more accurate exterior, one that more closely resembles what is actually going on inside their warped, diseased psyche. But make no mistake, that atheism is an act, because the narc does believe in a god and only one god, themselves. Yes, Satan has them on a tight leash and the narc never realizes that in all of their efforts to be number one in deceit, they never see that they themselves are the ones that are the most deceived. The narc's love affair with trendy social causes is easily explained since these causes are the perfect venue for the narc to disguise their lack of respect. Why? Because the narc has the perfect ability to feign genuine concern and dedication to a cause with little or no scrutiny of their true motives, and the payback to their ego is enormous in relationship to the amount of effort they expend. Yes, what better way to have society admire them than to be a supporter of a cause that is prominent with the important people of the world. Yes, that narc's inner hollow lack of concern will never be questioned in a group setting. Again it is all a matter of “doing the math” for the narc and those social causes give the largest payback for the smallest amount of input. Social causes are the ultimate candy for the narc, because these causes give the narc the most exposure, the greatest direct infusion of energy to their over-inflated and totally fake public persona or “billboard”. How incredibly sick it is to cover up your total selfishness by appearing to be just the opposite in public. True story: My ex was “passionately” championing suicide prevention on a social site, while at the same exact time she was teaming up with her weasel creep friend to try and push me over the edge. Yes the depraved hypocrisy of the narcissist takes your breath away. That calloused cretin was all of the sudden concerned with PTSD since her next target would be, and had to be a military man and that creep turned generating PTSD in her ex partner into a fine art. Those chains have now been broken by the way. The narc's lack of respect extends to institutions, their own country, and even their own heritage, since everything has to bow down to the narcissist. Nothing is sacred to the narc. The narc has no respect for marriage. Once that narc is married the obligations and responsibilities that the marriage contract imposes don't even figure into any of their plans. Why? Simply because that narc has absolutely no respect for the institution of marriage and sadly has no respect for their partner either. Marriage is simply a tool to get the narc what they want. Yes, marriage gives prestige. Being seen publicly as committed to another human being means the narc is viewed as a prime mover by society. Marriage gives all of the other perks as well, such as financial stability. Never does the narc even begin to appreciate the sanctity of the institution of marriage, the importance of it, the incredible gift it can be when done right. But again, the narc has absolutely no respect for the institution of marriage. If the narc wants an extramarital relationship, that narc will never allow a marriage to get in their way. The narc doesn't respect the family unit. They didn't respect their parents growing up and they frequently don't even respect their role as parent when they are older. Yes, a narc that doesn't take that role of parent seriously probably commits the worst act of disrespect a human being is capable of. Yes, the narc will seem to sacrifice themselves, but even with their children the narc always takes as much benefit from the role of parent for themselves as possible. Does the narc love their children? Maybe they actually do and maybe they actually sacrifice for their children, but it is never even close to the level of obligation that parenting should be. The narc just simply isn't capable of thinking more of others than of themselves. Not even their own children. I will spare a poignant anecdote that was related to me to protect the innocent about a person who actually put huge efforts into cultivating a new relationship when they should have been focusing exclusively on a child that was in severe need. So, does the narc respect the authorities, Police for example? Same as all of the above, respect is feigned because it is necessary, but only to the extent that it is necessary. Yes, my narc ex was followed by a police officer through town and finally stopped and told off the officer asking why he was following her. She felt safe because she believed she hadn't broken any laws. The narc also made a point of being close to some of the officers in town and avoided numerous tickets by taking advantage of those associations. But actual respect for authority? Not a chance. The list of how the narc disrespects everything can go on and on, but is there anything that the narc respects? The only form of respect a narc has is that which is motivated by fear. Fear of public humiliation, fear of being publicly unmasked, fear of being found out for the fake, phony frauds that they are. Only then will the narc actually give the appearance of yielding if it is necessary. But once that danger is evaded the narc will make a point of returning with a vengeance and have absolutely no mercy when they have gotten the upper hand and give their payback. Yes, the narc never forgets and the narc will never allow someone to get the last word, the narc will never allow themselves to be bested. Never is this more clearly felt and comprehended than when a narc thinks they were discarded by their partner, then resumes the relationship with that person. The sole reason for that narc to get back together with their partner is to exact revenge and make very sure that the partner is totally abandoned when at their most vulnerable. Sick but true. So the pattern of disrespect becomes clear and it is the same exact pattern in every single setting the narc enters into. No genuine respect for anything or anyone, fake respect for everything and everyone and the only goal for the narc is to extract as much benefit for themselves in every single instance. So, what if the narc actually does things that are beneficial to others? Well again, those are simply unintended consequences, but make no mistake whatsoever, the fruits of the narc's efforts are primarily for selfish reasons and the narc makes sure they are the greatest beneficiaries of those fruits. Of course no one knows what is really going on in someone else's head, so why make such a harsh judgment? Well here is a key: The narc helps many people over the course of their lives and actually can be seen as a positive force at least for a while, but then the narc gives themselves away and shows they never really cared at all. How is this? Well once a narc is done with any situation and they no longer have any use for a person or a job that narc frequently burns down and destroys every one of their positive accomplishments. Yes every good act and act of apparent kindness and concern is literally blown up leaving the partner, or the job, or others that depended on that narcissist in far worse condition than before that narc made their appearance. Yes the narc literally destroys all of the good that they have done and then does additional damage, leaving things worse off than before they ever appeared on the scene. Why would someone do this? Because they never really cared or respected and by blowing things up either on purpose or inadvertently that lack of concern is fully exposed. Yes the narc could have easily avoided doing the damage and would have avoided it if they ever really genuinely cared. Having your partner and confidant suddenly drop their mask and become a totally different person, a stranger is one of the most incredible shocks anyone in a relationship could experience, That shock is only equaled when an informed observer sees and fully comprehends the incredible hypocrisy of the narc in a public setting. Wolves in sheep's clothing, like whitewashed tombs which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. Choose your metaphor. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you. Ending Comment: The purpose of every human being on this earth is to glorify God. The Universe, this Earth and the people on this Earth, including narcissists, were created by God for His purposes. Yes, the narc started out as a creation of God to glorify God, but somewhere during the course of their existence they were taken over by darkness. So the new purpose of the covert narcissist is to embody evil and glorify their master, Satan. How is this possible in a world that was created by God? God has allowed Satan, sin, and the “ministers of unrighteousness”, which includes covert narcissists, to have apparent freedom to do as they please. Somehow God is using sin for His purposes, to turn evil into good. But here is the frightening thought, the narc is clearly owned and operated by Satan, but that narc is so far gone that telling them this truth won't make a bit of difference. You will be confronted with the typical narc smirk. Yes the narc is a slave to sin and totally convinced that everything is OK, totally convinced that they are in control. The narc may not even believe in the devil, but they are his puppet all the same. Just as the devil, and the third of the angels that followed him were once good and obedient to God, and purposely rebelled against their sole purpose for existence, the narc was also created to be good and worship God. So the devil, his fallen angels called demons, and all unrepentant narcissists will one day end up in the same location. No, they aren't going to a good place. The covert narc will broadcast their great compassion, concern, and empathy about an animal to the world. …meanwhile, in private, they engage in the lowest form of treachery, and depravity that a human is capable of TRUE STORY

When to Say Goodbye to the Narcissist: Putting that narcissist abuse behind you ultimately means putting that narcissist totally out of your thoughts. Yes, the narc may be dead to you in the sense that you are no longer concerned about what goes on in their daily lives. The narc may be dead to you because their opinion is no longer valid. The narc may be dead to you because they don't figure in to your plans either present day or future. All of that is a sign of healing and mental health. But the past still lingers and to put that past behind you you need to comprehend that past and fully extract all of the lessons that need to be learned from that time with the narcissist. Part of that learning experience is understanding narcissism in general and also trying to understand that individual narcissist that you were with. So why do some of us dwell on an individual that has absolutely no consequence to our existence going forward? Why do we still want to understand that person? Why are we still trying to contemplate if they were really a covert pathological narcissist or not? The actions of that person make it clear they were a narcopath, yet we still try to understand them. Well part of the reason we dwell on that person is because we still have a strong residual attachment to them, we still have feelings of love, commitment, and responsibility towards that person. We are even now still trying to understand that person because it is the natural thing that we are used to doing in an effort to bond and form a relationship with someone. So yes, quite some time has gone by and you are still trying to sort that narc out in your mind, still trying to analyze each and every personal experience that narc related to you and trying to determine fact from fiction. You still try to understand what could cause a person to become such a warped, diseased creature that is called a covert pathological narcissist. Yes, you are still subconsciously searching for and answer, an understanding of what that person was all about. You do that despite the fact that the motivations of narcissists in general have been carefully chronicled and described in high detail and you did intensive research and learning on the subject. To an outsider they may be quite puzzled as to why you would expend energy on a person that has long disappeared from the scene and is of no consequence to you whatsoever. But here is the important thing to note: if you still need to understand that person it is never any other human being's right to tell you to move on and not dwell. That advice giver no doubt has your best interests at heart and the logic behind that advice is sound. The idea is that if you stop thinking about the narc then you can heal. But if you aren't ready to put that narc out of your heart and mind you have to go against your own instincts to achieve that goal . Your instincts tell you that although the narc is over, the damage that the creep did to you is far from over. So taking that well intentioned advice from an outsider, even if they happen to have credentials is going against your own subconscious and may not be the right course of action for you. It may actually be a form of denial, a method of burying unresolved issues. Of course there is a time limit, but even that is usually proportional to the time spent with the narcissist and the level of abuse suffered. Yes, just like your body intuitively knows how to heal a physical wound, a cut or other injury, your psyche has it's own way of healing itself. Outside advice, especially by knowledgeable professionals is sometimes very beneficial for sure, and for some it is needed. For others however, we need to do what our heart tells us to do and continue pondering every aspect of that abusive relationship and the person that perpetrated that abuse, even though it is now a part of our past. So that process of pondering goes on and on and then one day when pursuing another avenue to try to gain insight into that person it dawns on you: the effort you are putting in is a waste of your time. You realize yourself that the efforts put in are not appropriate since the insight you get has no purpose or function. That insight that may be valuable in an ongoing relationship, useful to you, to your partner in trying to help them overcome their severe psychological dysfunction, and useful to having a more fluid and healthy relationship. But that insight is of no value whatsoever in your present situation. Yes, in your mind you were still in that relationship trying to understand, trying to get resolution, trying to get to a point of peace and joy for you, your partner, and the relationship. But then one day it sinks in that you are wasting your time. It sinks in that the effort is better spent pursuing other goals and possibly other relationships. Every outsider can tell you that a covert narcissist is a waste of your time, every well intentioned friend and professional, after all it is obvious. But the true breakthrough comes when you tell it to yourself. That breakthrough is the result of countless days, weeks, months, and years of daily work. Maybe even decades. So how do you know if that dwelling on the past is a part of the healthy process of healing your psyche or dysfunction? The easiest way to know is to look at the progress you are making. Are you more functional day after day, are you dwelling on that abusive relationship less and less as time goes on? Is hope and joy returning to your life? Are you planning a future and looking forward to that future, a future with every trace of that narcopath out of your life? All of those mileposts are very useful tools and allow you to gauge and monitor your progress. So yes, you are no longer concerned with trying to understand that individual narcissist because you realize it is a waste of time, but the need for vengeance can still bind you down. Now that the narc is no longer of any consequence, rather than dwelling on that creep receiving justice, you focus on your own standing with God and ask God to have mercy on you. Rather than expecting God to punish that narcissist, you focus on your own deficiencies and areas that need improvement. Yes, that covert narcissist may be dozens of times more wicked than the victim, but God's standards are different and no one is perfect enough to make it into heaven without God providing the payment for their sins. We have to keep in mind that every human being that has ever existed other than Jesus has committed sin just about every day of their lives. Sins of omission as well as sins of commission. So every human being on earth needs the grace of God, His mercy, not justice. Justice would mean to not gain entry into heaven. So if we need God's mercy, not His justice (and all of us do), then it wouldn't be appropriate for us to want justice for the narcissist. Insisting on justice for the narc in this case, means we also have to have justice from God and being that none of us are perfect it puts the victim in a bad position. As honest individuals we don't want to institute a double standard and consider ourselves special. That is what covert narcissists do. Instead, what goes for the narc goes for us as well. So does that mean the narc won't pay for all the evil they have done? Not at all. Here is the key: The narc absolutely has the possibility of being fully forgiven for all that they have done to you, have their debt fully paid so to speak, but there is only one important thing that is required of the narcissist. That narc has to genuinely repent, have remorse, and be sorry for what they did to you. That narc has to humble themselves and humbly ask God to forgive them and have mercy on them. That narc has to take full responsibility for all that they have done, not point the finger at an innocent party and bear false witness. We victims are only required to leave that narc fully in God's hands and have no concern whatsoever as to what will happen to that narc. So the narc is given the same opportunity that the victim has been given. If that narc does suffer a terrible fate, in this life or the next, they are solely responsible for those repercussions. The narc has damned themselves by their own attitude, their own lack of willingness to repent and humble themselves. The thing that upsets many victims the most is the fact that that narc will be free to perpetrate the same damage on another target that they inflicted upon them. But God is aware, God sees, and God will be the final arbiter of how much more damage that narc will be able to cause for the rest of their miserable existence. On the other hand, if the narc repents and has a genuine conversion the danger to others will have been brought to an end. Remember, the narc may think they can deceive God, but they will not be able to get away with a fake conversion. No one can gaslight God. He sees it all in high detail and total accuracy. Leaving that narc in God's hands will produce the best results and ultimately justice will be served. Justice or Jesus, and we all know that a covert narc actually changing and becoming truly humble would take a miracle. So yes it is possible, but the chances are slim to none, being that the narc prefers their self anointed and appointed godhood over any possibility of bowing to the real God. Not our problem. It is God's problem and He wants us to stay out of His way. That narc is no longer our responsibility. So yes one day you realize that you are wasting your time expending any energy whatsoever on that individual that pretended to be a human being. An individual that abdicated their humanity, but instead decided to be evil and only give the appearance of being human. Thinking about that individual covert narcissist has no consequence or significance, bears no weight whatsoever, doesn't figure in at all in the calculations and plans that you make for your future. But that is only when you yourself decide that dwelling on that narc has served its purpose in your life. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.

Why No Contact With a Narcissist Always Benefits the Target: The case for no contact with a narcissist. Before we even begin let’s be clear no contact is often times not initiated by the victim, but is rather used as a tool by the narcissist to walk away from a situation and avoid having to answer for all of the evil, lies, and deceit that they perpetrated upon their partner. To the victim that doesn’t get any answers from the narc after they walk away, it may seem like no contact is the worst possible thing. Yes there is no doubt that no contact from the narc is a form of abuse that benefits the narcissist, but we aren't focusing on the short term benefits to the narc and the immediate injury to the discarded victim. Instead, we are looking at the long-term implications of no contact and how no contact is ultimately very beneficial to the victim. Does the narc benefit from this long-term no contact? Possibly they do, maybe not, but the thing that we must focus on is the victim and getting them back to emotional, psychological, mental, and physical health. What we’re trying to do is make sure that the victim regains hope in their lives and restores their faith in humanity. Those are our goals. So whether the narcissist benefits or doesn’t benefit long-term from no contact is of no consequence. The narcissist has done what they’ve done, they’ve had it their way, they’ve gotten everything they wanted, and any repercussions from what they have done to their ex partner is on them and on them alone. Yes we em paths tend to care about our partners even though we were terribly attacked and abused. Any sane person with the ability to truly love another human being and commit to them simply can't just turn off that love and commitment like a light switch. Only the narc can walk away cold turkey and in doing so they give themselves away. This ability to move on and get over a relationship instantly and have another relationship is a clear giveaway that that narc never cared or loved or committed or had any loyalty. It is a clear indicator that the narc was a total fraud. Of course the warped narc will be with their new friend and then turn around and tell the abandoned partner they were the disloyal one. The sad thing is the victim will be so distraught by the whole shock of seeing their partner remove their mask and turn into a total stranger that the partner will actually buy this totally ridiculous and unfeasible statement. But with no contact the fog begins to clear and the mind starts reorganizing itself and begins once again thinking rationally, logically, and with reason.
Once the mind is functioning and thinking clearly and the victim has done their homework and learned about covert narcissism they can begin the long, convoluted journey of discovering and comprehending what happened to them. It is essential to understand those experiences with the narc for what they were in actuality, in reality. At the time the victim had those experiences they were being interpreted in the context of the fantasy existence the narc had created and not the real world. Yes, that whole experience with the narcissist from the very first moment that creep entered their lives to D day, the day of discard and abrupt no contact is now slowly disassembled into its component parts and each part re evaluated with the knowledge gained about covert narcissism. New revelations occur daily as memories of the past are triggered by things the victim encounters as they go about their daily lives. In the beginning those memories cause acute and intense episodes of emotional pain. That emotional pain can range from a sense of dread, a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness to intense anxiety, to deep rage as the duplicity, deceit, lack of honesty, and malevolent treachery of the narc now comes clearly into focus. Some of these triggered intense emotional episodes can bring that victim to their knees, paralyze them mentally and emotionally and for that reason are rightfully called PTSD. But the victim takes each of these episodes of PTSD and uses that pain to focus their attention and work out what is going on, gaining insight into what misconceptions are causing these totally irrational feelings. One by one these episodes are confronted, like a bull is taken by the horns, and analyzed. Over the course of many months the PTSD subsides and the importance of the narc in that victim's life fades. The victim begins to understand that the narc is an irrational human being that never had any real reason to treat them as badly as they did. Slowly the victim gets themselves off the hook and realizes that the narc's opinion of them, the idealized fake opinion in the beginning and the fake devaluation at the end, were all pure fabrications and that makes the narc's opinion irrelevant. Yes, the victim's greatest mistake was respecting that narcissist. The narc's opinion was certainly never worthy of being respected, but sadly you come to the conclusion that even the narc themselves isn't worthy of any respect at all. Of course you still respect them, that is what a decent human being does, they respect all people, but certainly that narc will never again be trusted. Certainly that narc will never be believed again. Of course any narc knows that once they have been found out it's game over. No narc can live in an environment where their cover has been blown. So much easier for the narc to find a fresh supply of naive people that have never heard of covert narcissism. So yes time gives clarity and resolution and meaningful, important, and healing answers to the victim. Those answers come from research and daily work. So the victim reevaluates and begins to understand the truth of that interaction with the narcissist. Yes the victim now understands the reality of every gesture of kindness, every faux display of concern, or empathy, or love. The victim understands those were never real anyway, just gesticulations and signaling of genuine emotions that the narc learned to fake so that they could get an emotional response and extract energy from their victim. Yes the victim thinks back and realizes they had a sixth sense, a feeling that something was “off” about everything the narc did, but somehow that intuition was neutralized. The victim thinks back on the numerous half truths and white lies and now clearly sees that they were only a small indication of the true depth of that narc's duplicity. After enough time pondering that ridiculous time with the narcissist, sifting through memories and comprehending them for what they were, not what they appeared to be, the victim can slowly begin to understand the depth of the sham or confidence scheme that was perpetrated upon them. Working on the resulting rage that comes from the revelations is essential. With each success in giving that rage to God, room is made for more, even starker revelations to be comprehended. We then get to the question of is there any benefit whatsoever, after a period of no contact, of having a frank an open discussion with a narcissist to try to get some real closure. The answer to that question is no, not if that person you were with is a true covert narcissist. Now in the past I would have told you that every narc is different, that narcissism is on a spectrum and that no two relationships are the same. All of that may be true, but a true covert narcissist, no matter what portion of the spectrum they are on, will never do anything for another person's benefit. If that narc has any reasons to re-initiate contact with you it will be for solely selfish reasons. We have to remember that the narc doesn't care about you at all. The narc never did. Not at the height of your relational bliss nor at the end when they triangulated, flaunting their new partner in your face, trying to drive you off the edge. It's no different at any time with the narc , they simply don't care about you and never ever did. No, you are never going to get any honest answers or any genuine apology from a narcissist. That narc will use any occasion of contact with you to get as much energy from you as possible. The duplicitous narc I was with, came to my place of work only after her boyfriend was at risk of being confronted by me. After months of threats on his Instagram page against me, I finally made a comment on the narc weasel's page telling him it was time for him to back up those threats. Literally less than 30 minutes after I made that comment she shows up at my place of work. That cold hearted creep then told me she would apologize and say she was sorry for what she did only after I said I was sorry first. Bear in mind that narc would have faced serious charges, possible jail time, had I pursued legal action. Yes she tells me she wasn't in her right mind when she attacked me and made those threats against me to get others involved. Yes she proclaims herself to now be back to normal and proceeds with a display of insanity that would make any psychopath proud. Oh yes she is calm, channeling the new boyfriend who taught her to control her emotions. Funny, I thought it was I who taught her to be calm and collected. Well anyway, I had already begun understanding covert narcissism and the display of duplicity that unfolded in front of me, with me being totally aware of every lie she was speaking was quite an experience on my end. I stared her straight in the eyes and almost like watching a movie, with “detached amusement” I closely observed that sick covert narc ply her trade. She fired off one lie after another with precision, one outrageous tale after another. She never flinched but I stared into those eyes and even knowing that I was seeing through her duplicity she continued lying, but then there was a tell. Her eyes began twitching when she realized I wasn't buying any of what she was saying. I wasn't the same person who would graciously take every thing she told me “on faith”. But her tenacity, her devotion to lying was unabated. She kept going. Yes her gift of “closure” to me was bald faced gaslighting in an attempt to further abuse and disorient a person who was barely holding on. She then told me never to contact her again, thinking that she had once again come out on top. The arrogance of that creep was astounding and only now, many months later, have I finally understood that this cretin's arrogance was always present throughout the relationship and throughout her life. Every story she ever told me about her experiences as a child and those road confrontations she seemed to always have, showed a consistent pattern. That of a self centered, arrogant, immature, covert narcissist that would never listen to anyone, that always had to win. After all she was a queen, superior to all of those around her. Why didn't her mother and her siblings and her step fathers ever understand that? Yes in the past as a token of love I overlooked those small lies since I soon realized it was impossible to confront her with them anyway. But her mistake was to think that she was actually convincing me. Of course she was getting away with the greater lies, the lies of making me believe she was serious about a lifetime commitment that she had made to me. Was my experience unique? I doubt it. So it becomes clear that there will be absolutely no benefit to the victim of ever seeing that narc again. There will be absolutely no straight answers given and at the end the narc will have used that encounter to heap more abuse on the victim. That is if they can get away with it. So let’s be clear, if you want to get a second dose of a narcissist and you want to think that your particular situation is different from all the others you’re more than welcome to jump into that cesspool and think that you’re going to get out spotlessly clean. It won’t happen. But for some they have to try and to those who do try I will only say one thing: guard your heart, your soul, and your mind. Give it a try and prove that your situation was different than all the others. Prove to yourself that your partner wasn’t truly a covert narcissist. If that partner wasn't a covert narc you may well come away with some closure, with some satisfaction that your ex truly was remorseful for their actions. But nothing good will ever come from an encounter with a covert narc after a period of no contact. Especially if that narc wants to resume the relationship and you are foolish enough to believe they truly loved you. That's another anecdote I could share, but not today. So does no contact benefit the narcissist? Maybe it does, but then again maybe it doesn’t. Clearly no contact benefits the narcissist after having abused and attacked a victim and the narc's true inner self becomes exposed. An aware victim is the narc's worst enemy, because facing that person means the narc now has limited abilities to gaslight. A narc will never meet someone head to head on an even playing field. That narc's bag of tricks has now been emptied of much of it's contents and they are now out in the open. Yes the narc carefully honed their feigned outrage when they were suspected of having lied or cheated, even if it was right in front of their partner. So we now understand that the narc always has to maintain their capacity for gaslighting and lying even in unimportant things. Why? Because it keeps the narc in practice and creates an environment that conditions the victim to accept the more important gaslighting and lying when it is necessary. Here are some fictional examples that I have created from my imagination that are based on experience. Yes the narc would get through with a session with their secret lover either online or in real life and have a whole list of gesturing and facial expressions pre-planned if anyone even suspected anything at all. The narc would take a liking to the mailman and then cover up the fling by calling that mailman ugly, old, and incompetent. That narcissist fool never realizing she was the talk of the town. The narc would take a liking to a stay at home dad, a lazy fool who took advantage of his baby mamma and lived off of his parent's wealth, and immediately see an opportunity that they couldn't pass up. That situation was an easy one for the narc, there was plenty of opportunity to be clandestine. The narcissist fool never realized people knew and saw, and that narc's reputation spread far and wide. Yes that is why we can call narc's cretins. Thinking themselves wise they become fools and give themselves away. Sometimes in big ways, other times by little tells that have huge significance. So of course in public she feigned hardly knowing or even disliking her secret lover. But those secret glances that the narc thought went unnoticed were keenly observed by those around them. Yes, even the responsibility of being a mother or father was shirked and taken advantage of for the narc's gain. Sad. But these are fictional examples. I could go on about the generic narc's reputation in the workforce but I will stop here. The key is to understand that the more adamant the narc is about something the more likely they are hiding something. Or at least think they are hiding something. Many husbands or wives just give up and take to the bottle or other sedatives until a feasible exit is found. We do all sorts of things for the children. Anyway, when these methods have been exposed the narc is left very vulnerable and this disorients them. Their solution is to simply refuse contact with the victim and make up a story about the victim being the abuser. That is where flying monkeys and new male knights in shining armor or female angelic saviors become essential. The narc absolutely has to build a new fantasy existence that they can once again feel comfortable in. The narc finds it impossible to live in the real world where they have no advantages over those who surround them. The narc can only exist in a world where they make the rules and they have built a false persona. So yes the narc will benefit from no contact in the short term, no doubt about it. But the implications of that quick fix will eventually fall in on them. The victim on the other hand will get the real tangible long term benefits of no contact. Most victims needed closure, needed some answers, needed to process the facts so that they could at least comprehend what went wrong, learn and not repeat the same mistake. But the narc wouldn't allow it. The reason is clear to those of us who have studied covert narcissism. The narc knew that any close scrutiny would reveal the scope of the fraud that the narc had perpetrated on their partner. So the narc left and thought themselves the winner. The victim is then left with the colossal task of finding answers on their own. That journey can take weeks, months, years and even decades if the victim is lucky enough to survive. Some don't. Sadly the narc could care less and might even consider themselves powerful for having had such a dramatic impact in another person's life. So no, the victim sees very little benefit from no contact initially, but the tables turn over time. Long term the narc loses and the victim benefits from no contact. How and why? Well the narc has a debt to pay to that victim. The narc was supposed to be like any human being and think about their actions, do some close self-examination and introspection, and feel remorse for what they did. That narc should have felt the need to make things right or at least if nothing else admit that they were wrong and make an apology. But the narc refused and pretended nothing ever happened. So that debt was never paid or even acknowledged, but even a narc, who may not have a conscience, is aware of that debt. That narc can convince themselves the debt doesn't exist but that doesn't make it so. Denial of something doesn't make it go away. So the narc goes through life incurring more and more debt and continuing their same method of burying the truth by denial. But that debt just keeps on accruing interest. In the end it becomes impossible for the narc to make amends. Too much time has passed and sadly the narc has locked themselves into a behavior pattern that they are a slave to, that they can't escape. So the narc goes deeper and deeper into the abyss, having to make more and more excuses, having to deny more and more portions of their existence, having to perpetrate ever increasing fraud on those around them. So the narc robs themselves of any genuine accomplishments or any peace or any joy. The narc does this to themselves and that no contact which seemed so enticing and a comprehensive solution to their problem was just a quick fix that got the narc into even deeper debt and trouble. So it becomes clear why covert narcissists are miserable people that deny anyone around them a genuine compliment or an ounce of respect. The narc is miserable with themselves and as life goes on they become more and more miserable. But the worst is yet to come. That is in the afterlife since no, we don't just simply cease to exist. That is a frightening prospect and many a narcissist is fully aware of it and yet they refuse to be saved from this terrible fate. The victim on the other hand has nothing but benefits from no contact. The victim does examine the situation, and do the work, and has introspection. The victim was willing to accept blame and more importantly, the victim tried desperately to at least get some resolution with their partner. The victim does benefit from no contact in so many ways. First, just eliminating the toxic environment created by the narcissist will eventually allow the victim's natural tendency to be more positive about life reinstate itself. Second, eliminating that false fantasy existence from the victim's environment eventually allows the victim to live in a world of reality, to see things clearly once again. Like a fog lifting. The victim will eventually get the answers they require and will eventually grow and learn from that experience with the narc. The victim will once again be able to generate their own inner joy and peace and find hope and even faith. Yes, all of these things take time, but the no contact allows that healing to take place. So we can view that victim a few days and weeks after the discard by a narcissist and be gravely concerned about that person. Yes that narc with their new “friend' is enjoying themselves and telling the world they were the ones who survived abuse, while the victim is unable to eat for weeks and is barely functioning. But months and years later we see a different scene. That victim has learned and become victorious. That victim has now understood what is important in a relationship and in life and that victim, whether alone or with someone, has hope for the future and has stability in the present. That victim understands the importance of being positive and eliminating toxic people from their lives. So yes long term the victim can be and should be victorious. But that requires doing the work. Understanding narcissism, totally eliminating the need for vengeance, and not even being concerned if the narc will ever pay for all that they have done. Yes the victim has moved on, just like the narc told them to do, so that the narc could enjoy that new instant boyfriend in peace. Yes the narc was well along the process of setting themselves up before that discard and only needed to feign victim status and suffering. So, keep in mind in the long term the victim is the one that reaps the benefits and the narc is the one that pays. I listened to God and followed the directions set forth in the Bible. Many will say they have no interest in the Christian perspective, but these people face a very real problem. When a person has an illness that needs to be cured the most important route to cure that patient is to find the cause of the illness and treat that. Yes, there are many quick fixes that will mask the symptoms and give some short term and even long term benefits. Yes, many people can go through life thinking they have their illness under control. But the ultimate cure for any condition is to find the actual cause of that illness and treat the actual cause, not the symptoms. The treatment is instituted and the person goes on with life medication free. Narcissism is a condition of the heart and in many ways goes into the spirit realm. It forces people to look inside themselves, it focuses people on the motivations of humans in general and it brings to light the difference between children of the light who follow God's will in their lives and the slaves of Satan, the children of darkness that are fooled by Satan into believing they are getting it all their way. Eliminating the spiritual aspects of narcissism means there will never be any comprehensive understanding of how to cure the patient. Teaching that victim how to fish and have fish for a lifetime instead of giving them a fish every day is the goal. So, if the victim has healed, the narc owes them nothing, God will repay that victim and restore everything the narcissist took and even give more. The narc doesn't owe the victim at all any more, they owe God, and the payment of that debt is in God's hands and His alone. That is the Christian point of view. Yes, it's not up to the victim to decide how the narc will pay that debt. That isn't the victim's problem and God has specifically told them to not make it their problem. God promises to take care of the narc. The narc will pay that debt, one way or another. The victim is instructed to rest easy, heal themselves and have peace. The victim is relieved of that heavy burden. So yes no contact always benefits the victim, not the covert narcissist. …...Eventually. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.
Why No Contact With a Narcissist Always Benefits the Target: The case for no contact with a narcissist. Before we even begin let’s be clear no contact is often times not initiated by the victim, but is rather used as a tool by the narcissist to walk away from a situation and avoid having to answer for all of the evil, lies, and deceit that they perpetrated upon their partner. To the victim that doesn’t get any answers from the narc after they walk away, it may seem like no contact is the worst possible thing. Yes there is no doubt that no contact from the narc is a form of abuse that benefits the narcissist, but we aren't focusing on the short term benefits to the narc and the immediate injury to the discarded victim. Instead, we are looking at the long-term implications of no contact and how no contact is ultimately very beneficial to the victim. Does the narc benefit from this long-term no contact? Possibly they do, maybe not, but the thing that we must focus on is the victim and getting them back to emotional, psychological, mental, and physical health. What we’re trying to do is make sure that the victim regains hope in their lives and restores their faith in humanity. Those are our goals. So whether the narcissist benefits or doesn’t benefit long-term from no contact is of no consequence. The narcissist has done what they’ve done, they’ve had it their way, they’ve gotten everything they wanted, and any repercussions from what they have done to their ex partner is on them and on them alone. Yes we em paths tend to care about our partners even though we were terribly attacked and abused. Any sane person with the ability to truly love another human being and commit to them simply can't just turn off that love and commitment like a light switch. Only the narc can walk away cold turkey and in doing so they give themselves away. This ability to move on and get over a relationship instantly and have another relationship is a clear giveaway that that narc never cared or loved or committed or had any loyalty. It is a clear indicator that the narc was a total fraud. Of course the warped narc will be with their new friend and then turn around and tell the abandoned partner they were the disloyal one. The sad thing is the victim will be so distraught by the whole shock of seeing their partner remove their mask and turn into a total stranger that the partner will actually buy this totally ridiculous and unfeasible statement. But with no contact the fog begins to clear and the mind starts reorganizing itself and begins once again thinking rationally, logically, and with reason.
Once the mind is functioning and thinking clearly and the victim has done their homework and learned about covert narcissism they can begin the long, convoluted journey of discovering and comprehending what happened to them. It is essential to understand those experiences with the narc for what they were in actuality, in reality. At the time the victim had those experiences they were being interpreted in the context of the fantasy existence the narc had created and not the real world. Yes, that whole experience with the narcissist from the very first moment that creep entered their lives to D day, the day of discard and abrupt no contact is now slowly disassembled into its component parts and each part re evaluated with the knowledge gained about covert narcissism. New revelations occur daily as memories of the past are triggered by things the victim encounters as they go about their daily lives. In the beginning those memories cause acute and intense episodes of emotional pain. That emotional pain can range from a sense of dread, a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness to intense anxiety, to deep rage as the duplicity, deceit, lack of honesty, and malevolent treachery of the narc now comes clearly into focus. Some of these triggered intense emotional episodes can bring that victim to their knees, paralyze them mentally and emotionally and for that reason are rightfully called PTSD. But the victim takes each of these episodes of PTSD and uses that pain to focus their attention and work out what is going on, gaining insight into what misconceptions are causing these totally irrational feelings. One by one these episodes are confronted, like a bull is taken by the horns, and analyzed. Over the course of many months the PTSD subsides and the importance of the narc in that victim's life fades. The victim begins to understand that the narc is an irrational human being that never had any real reason to treat them as badly as they did. Slowly the victim gets themselves off the hook and realizes that the narc's opinion of them, the idealized fake opinion in the beginning and the fake devaluation at the end, were all pure fabrications and that makes the narc's opinion irrelevant. Yes, the victim's greatest mistake was respecting that narcissist. The narc's opinion was certainly never worthy of being respected, but sadly you come to the conclusion that even the narc themselves isn't worthy of any respect at all. Of course you still respect them, that is what a decent human being does, they respect all people, but certainly that narc will never again be trusted. Certainly that narc will never be believed again. Of course any narc knows that once they have been found out it's game over. No narc can live in an environment where their cover has been blown. So much easier for the narc to find a fresh supply of naive people that have never heard of covert narcissism. So yes time gives clarity and resolution and meaningful, important, and healing answers to the victim. Those answers come from research and daily work. So the victim reevaluates and begins to understand the truth of that interaction with the narcissist. Yes the victim now understands the reality of every gesture of kindness, every faux display of concern, or empathy, or love. The victim understands those were never real anyway, just gesticulations and signaling of genuine emotions that the narc learned to fake so that they could get an emotional response and extract energy from their victim. Yes the victim thinks back and realizes they had a sixth sense, a feeling that something was “off” about everything the narc did, but somehow that intuition was neutralized. The victim thinks back on the numerous half truths and white lies and now clearly sees that they were only a small indication of the true depth of that narc's duplicity. After enough time pondering that ridiculous time with the narcissist, sifting through memories and comprehending them for what they were, not what they appeared to be, the victim can slowly begin to understand the depth of the sham or confidence scheme that was perpetrated upon them. Working on the resulting rage that comes from the revelations is essential. With each success in giving that rage to God, room is made for more, even starker revelations to be comprehended. We then get to the question of is there any benefit whatsoever, after a period of no contact, of having a frank an open discussion with a narcissist to try to get some real closure. The answer to that question is no, not if that person you were with is a true covert narcissist. Now in the past I would have told you that every narc is different, that narcissism is on a spectrum and that no two relationships are the same. All of that may be true, but a true covert narcissist, no matter what portion of the spectrum they are on, will never do anything for another person's benefit. If that narc has any reasons to re-initiate contact with you it will be for solely selfish reasons. We have to remember that the narc doesn't care about you at all. The narc never did. Not at the height of your relational bliss nor at the end when they triangulated, flaunting their new partner in your face, trying to drive you off the edge. It's no different at any time with the narc , they simply don't care about you and never ever did. No, you are never going to get any honest answers or any genuine apology from a narcissist. That narc will use any occasion of contact with you to get as much energy from you as possible. The duplicitous narc I was with, came to my place of work only after her boyfriend was at risk of being confronted by me. After months of threats on his Instagram page against me, I finally made a comment on the narc weasel's page telling him it was time for him to back up those threats. Literally less than 30 minutes after I made that comment she shows up at my place of work. That cold hearted creep then told me she would apologize and say she was sorry for what she did only after I said I was sorry first. Bear in mind that narc would have faced serious charges, possible jail time, had I pursued legal action. Yes she tells me she wasn't in her right mind when she attacked me and made those threats against me to get others involved. Yes she proclaims herself to now be back to normal and proceeds with a display of insanity that would make any psychopath proud. Oh yes she is calm, channeling the new boyfriend who taught her to control her emotions. Funny, I thought it was I who taught her to be calm and collected. Well anyway, I had already begun understanding covert narcissism and the display of duplicity that unfolded in front of me, with me being totally aware of every lie she was speaking was quite an experience on my end. I stared her straight in the eyes and almost like watching a movie, with “detached amusement” I closely observed that sick covert narc ply her trade. She fired off one lie after another with precision, one outrageous tale after another. She never flinched but I stared into those eyes and even knowing that I was seeing through her duplicity she continued lying, but then there was a tell. Her eyes began twitching when she realized I wasn't buying any of what she was saying. I wasn't the same person who would graciously take every thing she told me “on faith”. But her tenacity, her devotion to lying was unabated. She kept going. Yes her gift of “closure” to me was bald faced gaslighting in an attempt to further abuse and disorient a person who was barely holding on. She then told me never to contact her again, thinking that she had once again come out on top. The arrogance of that creep was astounding and only now, many months later, have I finally understood that this cretin's arrogance was always present throughout the relationship and throughout her life. Every story she ever told me about her experiences as a child and those road confrontations she seemed to always have, showed a consistent pattern. That of a self centered, arrogant, immature, covert narcissist that would never listen to anyone, that always had to win. After all she was a queen, superior to all of those around her. Why didn't her mother and her siblings and her step fathers ever understand that? Yes in the past as a token of love I overlooked those small lies since I soon realized it was impossible to confront her with them anyway. But her mistake was to think that she was actually convincing me. Of course she was getting away with the greater lies, the lies of making me believe she was serious about a lifetime commitment that she had made to me. Was my experience unique? I doubt it. So it becomes clear that there will be absolutely no benefit to the victim of ever seeing that narc again. There will be absolutely no straight answers given and at the end the narc will have used that encounter to heap more abuse on the victim. That is if they can get away with it. So let’s be clear, if you want to get a second dose of a narcissist and you want to think that your particular situation is different from all the others you’re more than welcome to jump into that cesspool and think that you’re going to get out spotlessly clean. It won’t happen. But for some they have to try and to those who do try I will only say one thing: guard your heart, your soul, and your mind. Give it a try and prove that your situation was different than all the others. Prove to yourself that your partner wasn’t truly a covert narcissist. If that partner wasn't a covert narc you may well come away with some closure, with some satisfaction that your ex truly was remorseful for their actions. But nothing good will ever come from an encounter with a covert narc after a period of no contact. Especially if that narc wants to resume the relationship and you are foolish enough to believe they truly loved you. That's another anecdote I could share, but not today. So does no contact benefit the narcissist? Maybe it does, but then again maybe it doesn’t. Clearly no contact benefits the narcissist after having abused and attacked a victim and the narc's true inner self becomes exposed. An aware victim is the narc's worst enemy, because facing that person means the narc now has limited abilities to gaslight. A narc will never meet someone head to head on an even playing field. That narc's bag of tricks has now been emptied of much of it's contents and they are now out in the open. Yes the narc carefully honed their feigned outrage when they were suspected of having lied or cheated, even if it was right in front of their partner. So we now understand that the narc always has to maintain their capacity for gaslighting and lying even in unimportant things. Why? Because it keeps the narc in practice and creates an environment that conditions the victim to accept the more important gaslighting and lying when it is necessary. Here are some fictional examples that I have created from my imagination that are based on experience. Yes the narc would get through with a session with their secret lover either online or in real life and have a whole list of gesturing and facial expressions pre-planned if anyone even suspected anything at all. The narc would take a liking to the mailman and then cover up the fling by calling that mailman ugly, old, and incompetent. That narcissist fool never realizing she was the talk of the town. The narc would take a liking to a stay at home dad, a lazy fool who took advantage of his baby mamma and lived off of his parent's wealth, and immediately see an opportunity that they couldn't pass up. That situation was an easy one for the narc, there was plenty of opportunity to be clandestine. The narcissist fool never realized people knew and saw, and that narc's reputation spread far and wide. Yes that is why we can call narc's cretins. Thinking themselves wise they become fools and give themselves away. Sometimes in big ways, other times by little tells that have huge significance. So of course in public she feigned hardly knowing or even disliking her secret lover. But those secret glances that the narc thought went unnoticed were keenly observed by those around them. Yes, even the responsibility of being a mother or father was shirked and taken advantage of for the narc's gain. Sad. But these are fictional examples. I could go on about the generic narc's reputation in the workforce but I will stop here. The key is to understand that the more adamant the narc is about something the more likely they are hiding something. Or at least think they are hiding something. Many husbands or wives just give up and take to the bottle or other sedatives until a feasible exit is found. We do all sorts of things for the children. Anyway, when these methods have been exposed the narc is left very vulnerable and this disorients them. Their solution is to simply refuse contact with the victim and make up a story about the victim being the abuser. That is where flying monkeys and new male knights in shining armor or female angelic saviors become essential. The narc absolutely has to build a new fantasy existence that they can once again feel comfortable in. The narc finds it impossible to live in the real world where they have no advantages over those who surround them. The narc can only exist in a world where they make the rules and they have built a false persona. So yes the narc will benefit from no contact in the short term, no doubt about it. But the implications of that quick fix will eventually fall in on them. The victim on the other hand will get the real tangible long term benefits of no contact. Most victims needed closure, needed some answers, needed to process the facts so that they could at least comprehend what went wrong, learn and not repeat the same mistake. But the narc wouldn't allow it. The reason is clear to those of us who have studied covert narcissism. The narc knew that any close scrutiny would reveal the scope of the fraud that the narc had perpetrated on their partner. So the narc left and thought themselves the winner. The victim is then left with the colossal task of finding answers on their own. That journey can take weeks, months, years and even decades if the victim is lucky enough to survive. Some don't. Sadly the narc could care less and might even consider themselves powerful for having had such a dramatic impact in another person's life. So no, the victim sees very little benefit from no contact initially, but the tables turn over time. Long term the narc loses and the victim benefits from no contact. How and why? Well the narc has a debt to pay to that victim. The narc was supposed to be like any human being and think about their actions, do some close self-examination and introspection, and feel remorse for what they did. That narc should have felt the need to make things right or at least if nothing else admit that they were wrong and make an apology. But the narc refused and pretended nothing ever happened. So that debt was never paid or even acknowledged, but even a narc, who may not have a conscience, is aware of that debt. That narc can convince themselves the debt doesn't exist but that doesn't make it so. Denial of something doesn't make it go away. So the narc goes through life incurring more and more debt and continuing their same method of burying the truth by denial. But that debt just keeps on accruing interest. In the end it becomes impossible for the narc to make amends. Too much time has passed and sadly the narc has locked themselves into a behavior pattern that they are a slave to, that they can't escape. So the narc goes deeper and deeper into the abyss, having to make more and more excuses, having to deny more and more portions of their existence, having to perpetrate ever increasing fraud on those around them. So the narc robs themselves of any genuine accomplishments or any peace or any joy. The narc does this to themselves and that no contact which seemed so enticing and a comprehensive solution to their problem was just a quick fix that got the narc into even deeper debt and trouble. So it becomes clear why covert narcissists are miserable people that deny anyone around them a genuine compliment or an ounce of respect. The narc is miserable with themselves and as life goes on they become more and more miserable. But the worst is yet to come. That is in the afterlife since no, we don't just simply cease to exist. That is a frightening prospect and many a narcissist is fully aware of it and yet they refuse to be saved from this terrible fate. The victim on the other hand has nothing but benefits from no contact. The victim does examine the situation, and do the work, and has introspection. The victim was willing to accept blame and more importantly, the victim tried desperately to at least get some resolution with their partner. The victim does benefit from no contact in so many ways. First, just eliminating the toxic environment created by the narcissist will eventually allow the victim's natural tendency to be more positive about life reinstate itself. Second, eliminating that false fantasy existence from the victim's environment eventually allows the victim to live in a world of reality, to see things clearly once again. Like a fog lifting. The victim will eventually get the answers they require and will eventually grow and learn from that experience with the narc. The victim will once again be able to generate their own inner joy and peace and find hope and even faith. Yes, all of these things take time, but the no contact allows that healing to take place. So we can view that victim a few days and weeks after the discard by a narcissist and be gravely concerned about that person. Yes that narc with their new “friend' is enjoying themselves and telling the world they were the ones who survived abuse, while the victim is unable to eat for weeks and is barely functioning. But months and years later we see a different scene. That victim has learned and become victorious. That victim has now understood what is important in a relationship and in life and that victim, whether alone or with someone, has hope for the future and has stability in the present. That victim understands the importance of being positive and eliminating toxic people from their lives. So yes long term the victim can be and should be victorious. But that requires doing the work. Understanding narcissism, totally eliminating the need for vengeance, and not even being concerned if the narc will ever pay for all that they have done. Yes the victim has moved on, just like the narc told them to do, so that the narc could enjoy that new instant boyfriend in peace. Yes the narc was well along the process of setting themselves up before that discard and only needed to feign victim status and suffering. So, keep in mind in the long term the victim is the one that reaps the benefits and the narc is the one that pays. I listened to God and followed the directions set forth in the Bible. Many will say they have no interest in the Christian perspective, but these people face a very real problem. When a person has an illness that needs to be cured the most important route to cure that patient is to find the cause of the illness and treat that. Yes, there are many quick fixes that will mask the symptoms and give some short term and even long term benefits. Yes, many people can go through life thinking they have their illness under control. But the ultimate cure for any condition is to find the actual cause of that illness and treat the actual cause, not the symptoms. The treatment is instituted and the person goes on with life medication free. Narcissism is a condition of the heart and in many ways goes into the spirit realm. It forces people to look inside themselves, it focuses people on the motivations of humans in general and it brings to light the difference between children of the light who follow God's will in their lives and the slaves of Satan, the children of darkness that are fooled by Satan into believing they are getting it all their way. Eliminating the spiritual aspects of narcissism means there will never be any comprehensive understanding of how to cure the patient. Teaching that victim how to fish and have fish for a lifetime instead of giving them a fish every day is the goal. So, if the victim has healed, the narc owes them nothing, God will repay that victim and restore everything the narcissist took and even give more. The narc doesn't owe the victim at all any more, they owe God, and the payment of that debt is in God's hands and His alone. That is the Christian point of view. Yes, it's not up to the victim to decide how the narc will pay that debt. That isn't the victim's problem and God has specifically told them to not make it their problem. God promises to take care of the narc. The narc will pay that debt, one way or another. The victim is instructed to rest easy, heal themselves and have peace. The victim is relieved of that heavy burden. So yes no contact always benefits the victim, not the covert narcissist. …...Eventually. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.