Why the Narcissist Wants You Dead: The target of narc abuse goes on feeling like a shell of themselves, a hollow human being for a long time after the discard. The feelings of helplessness, loneliness, abandonment, worthlessness can persist for months, years, even decades because the victim's sense of self has literally been blown apart by the narcissist. The narc was the victim's confidant, the person with whom they shared their deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams with. The narc was the perfect partner at first, no one had ever taken so much interest in the victim and the narc lifted that victim's self esteem to unprecedented heights in the mirroring- idealization phase of the relationship. Victims with humility and a clear sense of their own limitations frequently fight at this love bombing phase and don't allow all of the attention and compliments to go to their head, but the narc is relentless and won't give up. They will attack the victim from every angle until they finally DO get inside the victims head. My narc was relentless just about two weeks into having met her and she never let up. I never believed the relationship was really happening, that I had been so lucky and so blessed to have been given an opportunity to have a relationship with someone who was everything I ever wanted in a woman, someone who exceeded all of my expectations, someone who was genuinely interested in me, someone who adored and admired me. I didn't believe it and told the narc as much, well that just made her double down and she finally broke down that wall of mistrust as I totally let down my guard and allowed myself to be vulnerable once again after 14 years alone. What were some of the narc's favorite tools to get me to lower my guard and let her into my heart, mind, and imagination? Here are a few of her favorite sayings to me: You are a great guy. Any woman who knew you, really got to know you, would think of themselves as lucky to have found you. My search is over I've finally found my soul mate and life's purpose. You've totally healed me psychologically and emotionally. I had a dream that I left you and I was in a new job and then I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life. No one ever took the time to really understand me, but you are so attentive, so in tune with who I am. You really get me. The narc would say: “I really wasn't looking for another relationship I just wanted to spend some time alone with no partner and maybe finally meet someone, but when I met you I just couldn't pass up the opportunity.” My favorite that the narc said multiple times: “Have some confidence, I am all yours, I belong to you. I am yours forever.” When I told her I had only had two relationships in my life she told me I was only the second person she had ever been with. I was foolish enough to believe the lies and manipulation that narc was getting away with as she love bombed me into being her devoted partner. So what happens on the other end of the relationship when YOU are the narc's partner and they are grooming “the next one”? A narc still in a relationship might tell the new target something to the effect: “My partner and I aren't together at all, haven't been for years. They go their way, I go mine.” When the reality is they are at the same time telling their partner how much they still love them. Yes, the narc always takes the role of the victim, trapped in an unworkable relationship and that is exactly how they present it to the next candidate for a relationship. What are the excuses for still being with the old partner? Well, this is just conjecture but here are a few possibilities. We just live under the same roof for the sake of the children. The partner is their employer and they have been entrapped and can't get out of the relationship. What are some of the narc's grievances? In fact my partner has repeatedly cheated on me and he is always drunk. I tried so hard to get my partner help, I was so devoted to that person, but I have thrown up my arms. I need to find someone who is mature, who will share the burdens of life with me and who will really take the time to build a real solid relationship with me that will last a lifetime. My partner squanders money and we can't get ahead. My partner takes no responsibility, it's all on me. My partner promised me all sorts of things for our future together, but was just lying to get me to fall in love with them. That partner never fulfilled those promises and never had any intentions of fulfilling them. The partner of the narc is a fake and a phony and a liar. The list goes on. But one thing to note: Most of those accusations the narc makes against the partner are based on truth and reality, but there is only one problem. The narc is the one with all of those bad qualities and the narc is simply projecting those things onto the partner they are demonizing. Lies like that say an awful lot about how little respect she had for me. She never ever respected me enough to be honest and truthful. She never respected me enough to present herself honestly. She never respected the relationship enough to build it on a foundation that had substance and would allow it to last a lifetime. No, instead the narc built a relationship based on smoke and mirrors, lies and deception. The foundation of the relationship, her part at least, was unimportant to the narc, since this was all a temporary distraction in her mind. The narc didn't want a firm foundation for the relationship. The relationship was intended from the very beginning to be transient, to fail by design. The narc was bored and simply wanted a novel experience with someone new and different, not a “ball and chain”. The relationship was more like a tent that could be dismantled and folded up as the narc went to new territory or simply burned and replaced if needed. It was only the victim, who the narc viewed as a fool that bought in to her deception, who was stupid enough to believe her lies, that took things seriously. Oh, the partner really believed everything the narc said? Well that victim deserved to get a dose of reality and have the rug pulled out from under them. Life is tough says the narc and I am here to make sure you get a deep, comprehensive lesson into how harsh and cruel life can be. Yes the narc was doing you a service when they burnt down your world and destroyed you from the inside out. So how does this all relate to the discard and the no contact and the demonization. It has everything to do with it. Yes, you know the truth and that makes you the most dangerous person on the planet. Yes there were others in the past “crazy stalkers” etc. and each of those poor souls was equally destroyed and discredited and left with nothing as the narc walked away unscathed. The narc was the poor victim of an evil perpetrator. How else could the narc survive. Yes the narc demonizes their old partner for good reason. That old partner knows the truth, so that partner has to be made evil, has to be made crazy has to be discredited. That old partner has the truth that would totally destroy the fantasy world, the false mask that makes everyone consider the narc a paragon of virtue in the community and most importantly in the eyes of the narc's new “chosen other”. So yes, the narc wants you dead because you are their biggest threat. Lies and deceit can't live in the light of truth. What is the point of all of this? Well think about the poor mother who loves her children and has a manipulative partner demonize her and has her own children, her own flesh and blood turn against them. What incredible pain and suffering that must cause. Now it becomes clear why the victim has been made the evil one. Think about the person who devoted their lives to the narc and did nothing but good for her and deeply loved her and cared about her. Think about any person you can think of that gave their heart to the narc and made themselves vulnerable. Were these people perfect? Absolutely not, but that is no reason to call them evil. These victims are made into the devil because they know the truth, not because there is some inner covert agenda that the victim had that was equal to that of the narcissist. The victim isn't demonizing the narcissist to cover up the truth, the victim is merely exposing the truth and that truth in many cases exposes the narc's true evil. The narc knows this. So here is the truth the victim has to understand, the truth that can set them free. How appropriate for this Independence Day. The narc is no contact, is treating you badly, disparages you, minimizes you, makes you feel worthless not because any of those things are true, but because you are the most dangerous person on the planet. You know the REAL truth and that makes you enemy number one. There isn't anything wrong with you even though the narc tries hard to make you believe that. The narc needs you incapacitated and confused and self doubting. The narc needs you destroyed. The narc needs you to believe you are the evil and crazy one. The narc fears one thing more than anything else on this planet. A victim who is clear headed and aware and sees that narc for the evil parasite that they are. The narc is literally fighting for their lives and it's you or them. The narc may be self deceived, but they know one thing for sure, their lies have never been able to stand up to the truth when there was a fair fight. So you aren't being shunned for your weaknesses and deficiencies, even though you do have weaknesses and deficiencies. You are being shunned and not allowed contact with the narc because they are deeply afraid of the truth that lives inside of you. So yes, the narc wants you dead literally or figuratively. Remember who you are. You were a positive, creative person. A person who felt deeply, who cared about others and the world around you. A person who had flaws and was working on them. A person who lived, for the most part, in the light of truth. The narc saw that spark in your eyes that kindness in your soul, the love in your heart for humanity and for others, that sympathy and empathy and couldn't resist taking those things, the energy of them, for themselves. When the narc exhausted that supply in you, depleted you, they shifted to one purpose and only one purpose. To remove you from their lives in any way possible. You needed to be kept unaware of what was going on. The narc carefully planned their escape and had all sorts of contingency plans, because you were now spent and the narc was determined to move on. Reasons for leaving? They are multiple: boredom, realizing they couldn't manipulate you or deceive you are just two. But the big one is when you found out the truth about them and learned about covert narcissism. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.