Why The Narcissist Needs Control: An organized and neatly arranged environment at work and at home is always the ideal we all want to achieve, and many of us do achieve good results that are close to that ideal. Yes, neatness and organization are virtues, but the motivation behind that fine control of the environment is what sets the narc apart from normal people who just need to live in an organized space. Life is more efficient and brighter in an environment where there is a place for everything and everything is in it's place, and that might be one of the good reasons for wanting things organized. The narc, however has other additional reasons for wanting their environment and their world under tight control and “organized”. The narc sees everyone in their environment in need of being carefully categorized and placed in the right location so that they can be properly utilized as needed. Those people in the narc's environment get with the program or are used for whatever can be extracted and then discarded to remove the clutter from the narc's life. How virtuous. But there is only one problem, people aren't meant to be used, they are meant to be loved and accepted for who they are. No human should be seen as an object and that is fundamentally what the narcs sees those around them as being. Objects to be used. Humans merely serve a function for the narc. When that function is no longer being properly performed the narc is done with that object, otherwise known as a human being. Period. So yes, the narc is a control freak even if they aren't organized on the outside, in their home, or at work. It doesn't matter to the narc, the critical thing is to have everything under their thumb, under their control, so that even if their house is cluttered it doesn't matter because it is cluttered BY the narc. Yes, the narc is comfortable in their own warped world where everything is upside down because it is THEIR world. What gets under the narc's skin is when the rest of the people in their lives or even other people in society itself have any sovereignty. To the narc only they have the privilege to have sovereignty. The narc's opinion is all that counts. The narc is the arbiter of right and wrong. The narc simply can't tolerate the freedom of thought and action of others. The narc hates liberty. The narc's mentality is that of a Communist or a Socialist and this spirit has now saturated and taken over every single area of the globe. Yes, central planners are now the arbiters of right and wrong. People need to conform: in their thinking, in their actions, in their speech, and even in their motivations. The narc doesn't tolerate dissent . The narc arrogantly thinks they know best and they feel totally comfortable taking away the liberty of other people that are harming no one and simply want to be left alone. That parallels or mirrors the mentality of the central planners precisely, just on a smaller scale. The narc has never seen a liberty that they don't think needs to be under their control and regulated. So let's think about this for a moment, although I try to veer away from social commentary. Do you see what is happening in western society? The morality of people has been degenerated by design. The attitudes of people have been influenced by daily propaganda with an agenda to make all citizens conform to an accepted mindset and speech pattern and way of life. Think about this. The central planners exhibit all of the signs of a narcissist, right down to the fact that they lie with reckless abandon and double down on their lies when they are questioned. These central planners have enlisted a host of flying monkeys (news outlets and entertainers to name a few) to spread the message that they want the public to believe. These flying monkeys would immediately lose everything if they questioned these preprogrammed dogmas created by the planners. The dogmas that the planners choose to disseminate and broadcast as the truth could be mostly lies, but those lies will always contain an element of truth to make them believable. Yes, the narcissistic central planners have and want control of everything and they are well along the way of achieving their goal. Total control of everything. It is beyond the scope of this conversation, but think about the media: entertainment, news broadcasts, movies, radio, newspapers, news magazines, science magazines, the list goes on. For example, isn't it curious that the chemtrails, creating artificial clouds that are being obviously sprayed above everyone's heads, a phenomenon that any human being can observe with their own eyes, are not believed to be real. According to popular opinion,they are just contrails, normal condensation of a plane's exhaust. Yet man's large scale contribution to global warming is accepted by blind faith. Do all scientists really agree as to the extent of man's contribution? Look into it. There are so many other things we have been lied to and a few hours worth of research and a willingness to have an open mind, be an independent thinker, would make the lies obvious. So how does this apply to the narcissist we as victims have to deal with? Well the narc is the perfect social justice warrior. Narcissists aren't ever interested in the truth, they are only interested in “billboard”, being trendy and in agreement and in tune with popular opinion. Yes, in this respect and this respect only the narc conforms to the world. The narc would never want to be seen as an independent thinker, someone who is a dissident. That attitude doesn't appeal to the narc at all. The narc is inflexible and unteachable with respect to popular opinion. When it comes to towing the line for the powers at large, the narc is an obedient slave, since the “powers that be” hold the keys to the narc's most prized goal. Accolades, and the public image of being a fine and extraordinarily magnificent “A” list member of society. Dissidence and the labels that go along with it are not acceptable to the narc, any dissidence at all. When popular opinion tells the narc there is a problem in society, they will never take the time to analyze what has been said, the narc will believe, because the narc has to believe to be trendy and being trendy and in tune with the mainstream of popular opinion is more important than anything to the narc. Future generations and the truth be damned. The narc lives in the moment and for themselves and themselves alone. How does this apply to our individual relationship with the narc? Well that spirit of control is in everything the narc says and does. It is one of the narc's most important obsessions and if their personal life isn't under their control they will put every effort to get it that way. This is the root cause of the narc's covert manipulation of everyone around them, using any lie and untruth necessary to achieve their goals of “organizing”, “labeling” and “categorizing” everyone they come in contact with. The narc has found better and better ways of being manipulative over the course of their lives, making their treachery, lies and duplicity almost invisible to the objects (people) in their lives. Yes the narc is aware of individualism and personal sovereignty and they have expended great mental effort in breaking down that sovereignty in the people around them to get those people totally under their control. So yes, the narc's world, the world around them is neat, organized with everything clearly categorized and put in its place. If you are a person that considers themselves an individual and doesn't want to be put in your place, the place the narc has made for you, out you go. You will be replaced. If you can't be easily labeled the narc will place a label on you anyway. You will be the savior or hero until you are no longer needed or wanted then the narc will take another aspect of your personality and label you a villain and discard you. We do have to remember the control the narc seeks is external control. They place no constraints whatsoever on their internal , mental, emotional, motivational environment. Anything goes for the narc, nothing goes for the rest of the people in the world or even society itself. It's the narc's way or no way. Nonconformists in the narc's world will be banished, smeared , destroyed, anything necessary to obtain the finely controlled, organized environment the narc needs to live in. So, now it becomes clear why the narcissist is so obsessed with people following the rules. The narc is outraged when people don't do everything to the letter of the law because the narc feels that the privilege of being above the law is theirs and theirs alone. How dare others assume themselves to be at the high level of the narcissist and to consider themselves their equal. Yes, the narc's haughty attitude is clear to all of those around them, a commute to work frequently shows us exactly the nature of these people as they speed, cut people off left and right, cause accidents and never once question their own actions. Why, because the narc livs by his or her rules of the road and everyone else is wrong if they don't conform to the narc's rules. Yes, the narc can make or break or ignore rules whenever they have a whim to do so. But only the narc has that privilege. Everyone else has to comply, unquestioningly to the letter of the law. The laws of English, the laws of the road, the laws of social conduct, the laws of what to think, etc. Every one complies or the narc thinks it totally appropriate to correct these people in any way necessary. So let's think about the religious narcissists, called the Pharisees. These pharisees had taken the simple commandments of the Bible and literally created volumes of specific codes of conduct that every person had to precisely follow. What was Jesus's response to these people? Read all of Matthew 23, for example, and you see what Jesus thought of these righteous people. Here are a few excerpts from Matthew 23: Verse 3: So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. Verse 4: They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Verse 5: “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; Verse 6: they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues Verse 7: they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. Verse 23: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. Verse 24: You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. Verse 25: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Verse 26: Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Verse 27: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. Verse 28: In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. Verse 33: “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Verse 34: Therefore I am sending you prophets and sages and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. Verse 34: And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth.....” So yes these Pharisees are the prototypical narcissists and this attitude of legalism exists wherever the narc goes. Yes, narcissists can be churchgoers or atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, Muslims, etc. The narc will ply his trade, his brand of self righteousness and proper attitude in any setting. But in essence the attitude is all the same. It's all about appearance and looking good in public, and as Jesus stated above they lack justice, mercy, and faithfulness placing all of the emphasis on appearance in all of the “good” public actions that they do. Read all of Matthew 23 to get an understanding of who you are dealing with with a narcissist. Apparently Jesus had the audacity to not pat these people on the back. Jesus had the audacity to tell the truth about Himself as being God. Is it any wonder the pharisees wanted Jesus dead? I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with being a social justice warrior, or being neat and organized. Both of these things are virtuous if done with the proper motivation and a comprehensive, open-minded understanding of the cause. It is the improper motivation and lack of open-mindedness and comprehension that makes the narc's version of social justice and organization dangerous and damaging to those around them and to society in general. The narc does nothing with love, or empathy, or understanding. It is all to bolster their own egos. So, yes the narc will walk through New York City handing out cash to the homeless and that is a great think to do. But why? We have our suspicions don't we. But, being that we aren't narcissists we will not label someone a narcissist and presume to know what their real motivation is. After all, the average person is flexible and teachable and open minded. The average person is aware of and allows for the complexity of the people around them and doesn't simply place a label on them. Unfortunately the narc has taught us that there are people in this world that are a waste of our kindness, thoughts and good intentions, honesty, and transparency. Ironically ,the narc sees the people around them as three dimensional objects, oversimplifies the people and manipulates them as needed,. Where is the irony? Well the closest thing to a simple uncomplicated person who is little more that an object, with no subtlety or complexity is a narcissist. So yes, the narcissist is just about the only person you will encounter that can be labeled and categorized and eliminated from our lives. Yes, there are people out there who aren't worthy of our confidences or good intentions. That is sad. We can try to help, but we need to be fully on guard and never turn our backs or give unmerittedd trust to the narcissist. Thank you for watching. Comments are welcomed. Peace be with you.