Antidotes to Neutralize Narcissistic Toxins An outside observer will never understand how the victims of narcs seem “unable to get over it”. The victims seem to have endless fascination with every detail of narcissist abuse. To those outsiders I say be thankful you can't understand. The incredible lying, mind games and cruelty designed to do the maximum amount of psychological damage that narcs ACTIVELY perpetrate against their victims is at such a level of evil that no outsider could really believe it to be true. So the narcissist victim is alone and needs to figure things out on their own or seek the help or wisdom of other victims and mental health professionals that have worked on this complicated problem. When someone tells you, the narc victim, to “get over it” or to stay away from a narcissist that has hooked you with their lies and then viciously attacks you, the advice giver is showing total ignorance and lack of understanding. What seems obvious- getting over it, or staying away from your attacker only makes sense if both parties were actually committed to a loving relationship and if both parties actually presented themselves honestly and at least had the respect for the partner to hear them out and allow a normal break up with adequate closure. The narc doesn't allow this, was never really emotionally invested in the relationship, and has a callous disregard for the feelings of the person he pretended to love. Thereby inflicting severe psychological damage on the partner. The narc moves on with life with no remorse and seems to have no consequences for his evil acts. Only the victim is left to suffer and this creates the environment that can breed resentment, anger, and the thirst for revenge in the victim. The victim wants to be able to see the narcissist suffer and pay for the pain he has caused and the victim might even desire to get even with the narc himself. The victim has all sorts of toxic emotions and if these emotions aren't acknowledged and neutralized the narc's victim will destroy himself. This is where Christianity can help. 1. First and foremost, whenever having thoughts of the narcissist being punished for their evil deeds, don't let your mind go there. Remember, there is a God. He saw everything the narc did to you, God even knew the narc's intentions, the TRUE ones. So tell yourself “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord” (Romans 12:19) The burden of punishing the narc is God's, not yours. Let go of the resentment and need for retribution. The resentment will only destroy you. Keep on giving it to God. Remember God saw it all and God will deal with the narc eventually and provide his Proper punishment. 2. Continue studying narcissism through books, YouTube videos, talking to other victims, etc. 3. When you have finally realized that YOU and YOU ALONE are the victim, not the other way around (since the narc wants You to take the blame for all that has gone wrong) you have made the first breakthrough. 4. When you realize that all of the reasoning in the world won't help with the narc,you have made another breakthrough. No, the narc will never take the blame for any of his actions or ever admit to you or himself he did anything wrong. You are wasting your breath he can't be reformed and doesn't want to be. 5. When you finally see, by going over the years of your relationship together, that the narc never had any empathy for you and never really loved you, you have made another important breakthrough. Many of the gut feelings you had over the years will all of the sudden be confirmed as you go over the past. Your wondering at how the narc had no empathy in certain situations, your conclusions that the narc was not being loyal to you and being overly loyal to others, your questioning of the narc's commitment to you, or if they really loved you. Your puzzlement over how they told you things that seemed too incredible or implausible to be true. Your bewilderment by their disjointed and warped reasoning and their sometimes presenting themselves as knowing more than you did about a subject that you had a degree in, and in which they had no formal training. So slowly the past, all of the things the narc said and all that they did, is re-interpreted in a new light. 6. When you finally realize on a personal level that the person you knew and loved never existed and that the love you thought they were giving you never existed you have made more progress. 7. When you finally realize the narc is not worthy of the trust, belief and faith you had in them, you have gone another step in getting them out of your system. 8. Don't beat yourself up for being so stupid and naive that the narc was able to deceive you. No normal mentally healthy human being could ever be so untrusting to be prepared for the true evil that a narc perpetrates on his victims. The level of mistrust required to spot a narc for the first time would require a person to suffer from paranoia or have some other mental dysfunction. No normal human being could conceive of the level of lying, deceit and manipulation that a narc can perpetrate. The narc is mentally ill, but portrays himself as sane and victim is ill prepared to believe someone insane at the level of the narc. 9. Get the thoughts of the narc's new partner being the one that benefits from all you have done to help the narc out of your thoughts. Maybe, if you just held on a little longer, but you didn't and now the new person is benefiting. Not so, the narc will never change. 10. Over time you will have more and more good days of peace, and joy will once again come into your life and stay for longer and longer periods, but do expect to have wicked setbacks when least expected. Bouts of PTSD when you can hardly function as you once again contemplate the incredible cruelty that the narc inflicted on you, once again think that maybe this isn't true and the relationship will resume like nothing ever happened, once again want to believe that the narc really isn't a narcissist and really did love you- then torture yourself with the thought that the new instant intimate partner will have the benefit of a lifetime of bliss with the narc. All of these are nonsense, your partner was a narcissist, they are incapable of love and empathy, etc. So you one again sift through the past and sure enough, yes your partner was a narc, yes they were purposely cruel, had no empathy or remorse, no they didn't love you and won't love their new partner and no, the narc will never change. 11. So, after all of this you owe it to yourself to move on and forget the narc, but you need to come to that conclusion when you are ready. You owe it to yourself to not resent them, to no longer think about them, to no longer give them the benefit of the doubt, to no longer believe in them or have faith in them. The battle you must fight is with yourself- your thoughts and emotions. Expend the energy to purge yourself of toxic thoughts, and pursue a relationship with a healthy person who has the capacity for love and empathy. Now you know what to look for. You owe it to yourself, no one else, to move on and leave the narc in the sewer that he crawled out of. No need for you to spend time in that sewer with him, go out in the fresh air and sun and enjoy a bright positive existence with a partner who cares. Thank you for watching, your comments are welcomed as always. Peace be with you. Stay strong, keep learning and look forward to the day when the subject of narcissism is a part of your past.