The Holy Grail of Healing from Narcissist Abuse: No Contact The one common thread of advice running through all of the narc abuse victim healing and awareness sites is to go No Contact. The sad thing is that even if the head can understand the logic of this advice, the heart is not ready to hear it. That is for the person who has been discarded and was 100 percent in, and committed to the narc at the time of discard. The other problem is the one where the victim can't seem to get the narc out of their lives. I can't speak for those people, only the ones who have been abandoned at the worst and most vulnerable times. So the narc being who they are, will damage their victim in any way necessary to get him or her out of their lives, since they have found new and fresh, and therefore more exciting supply, and the narc just wants the freedom to enjoy themselves without interruption. Even better, sometimes the victim can be used in triangulation and then the narc and their new found partner can share a common goal of destroying the evil victim, otherwise known as the innocent party that has been demonized. So, in the most warped and twisted way, the suffering, abuse and pain inflicted upon the victim actually helps the narc and their new partner bond. A match made in hell if their ever was one. So, the narc as usual, gets everything their way and is left alone. The victim is left to themselves alone and with no support. What then happens in these circumstances? Is all of this advice about no contact the ultimate medicine for recovery? The answer is YES, but let's be clear to those of you not wanting to hear that answer and holding out hope for reconciliation, I hear you. You need time, you don't need to be told the obvious, that the narc is no good and more importantly no good for you. You are a normal human being after all. It is totally normal to be devastated after losing the love of your life . It is totally normal not to be able to let go and to continue holding on. It is normal to feel that person in every cell of your heart and every particle of your soul. You have suffered no different a loss than someone who loses their partner due to a sudden death. The only difference is that your partner is alive and potentially reachable by you and that adds to the grief of the sudden loss immeasurably. For you to want closure, for you to want even an ounce of compassion for your feelings and acknowledgment of your pain by the narc is normal. To the outside world, it may not appear that way, especially with the smear campaign that every narc, almost without exception will unleash against you. The narc will be the wronged party that deserves to be left alone and you the crazed stalker. Of course, there will be very little evidence that you were stalking in the classic sense. What happens next? Well, after one month of total no contact my answer is nothing for a good three weeks and then one day you look in the mirror and meet someone you forgot existed. Someone with life and joy and hope in their eyes and suddenly you realize you are back. The last time you saw this person was before you ever met the narc and that could be many years ago. Yes, there was a time of incredible joy right after you met the narc in the love bombing, flattery, mirroring phase. For me, that lasted 1 ½ years, but then there was a slow, but steady and imperceptible decline in your spirits and you slowly lost yourself as the devaluation phase kicked in. Then the discard and the floor dropped out of your world, but there was still something of you left. Over the course of the next month or two post discard, the decline in the victim became even more severe and at the point of rock bottom for the victim the narc and the weasel partner complicit flying monkey figuratively kicked the last ounces of life and humanity right out of the victim. The sick thing is they enjoyed it and actually gloated about it. If this isn't the definition of evil incarnate, please let me know the error of my thinking. Their greatest celebration would be to accomplish your demise. After all, you are the evil one. So, what happens after the no contact? I can only say for myself there was an immense struggle with no hope in sight and things only began working out about one week into the no contact phase. Much of the struggle has been documented in previous videos, but for me, two major things were key to my recovery: one, giving my anger and resentment to God and two, the good fortune of having high quality, positive people come into my life to replace the narc and the others that had left me. I attribute everything to God and the supernatural protection He is surrounding me with. As an example, just recently, the narc unleashed a vicious, slanderous attack upon me which was miraculously brought to my attention and I was immediately able to fight the false allegations. Please note: because this attack was anonymous, I will hold out the possibility that someone else made the attack, but I am nearly 100 percent sure it was her and I will not give away why and how I know or she will just use the information against me. The point to make is that you and God, with God given full authority to act on your behalf, because you decided to leave vengeance in God's hands, will always be far more effective and powerful than anything the narc and their multitudes of flying monkeys can do to you. Just remember, keep your head down, don't boast about your good fortune or any small victory you have in protecting yourself against the narc. Give all of the glory to God, knowing that it could be taken away at any time. Use the good fortune and your awareness of God's presence in your life to confirm that the best way to deal with the narc is to let God handle the narc. Chuck Smith used to say you can let God handle the situation and get a perfect outcome or handle the situation yourself and get inferior results. Your faithfulness to God will eventually pay off and the results will be far beyond what you could have accomplished on your own by taking the law into your own hands. So, five weeks in, and things are looking hopeful, and I proceed forth with cautious optimism, knowing that the narc is not done with me, since they seem to be deteriorating day by day. Her attack against me made me very sad for her and believe it or not I still just want to give her a hug and tell her everything could be OK if she only just woke up and realized I was, and probably still am the only friend she ever had. A person who was committed to her growth and ultimate happiness and joy as a human being. But I am OK with never seeing that person again. My sadness is for her, for the person she could have been, for the relationship we could have had. I sincerely believe that her time with me was her finest hour and the bitterness of never being able to get back to that level of respect and value could destroy her. She has already lost a lot of the respect that she fought so hard for over the last 20 years and judging by the last attack, she is deteriorating. How can that not make you sad, if you truly love and care about someone. So again, even at this point, with her wanting to destroy me in any way possible, all I want to do is hold her in my arms and work with her as a team to heal her and recover all that has been lost. The tragedy is that it is unlikely that she will ever be able to overcome her misplaced and unfounded resentment and because of that there will be no hope for her. So, is no contact the best medicine and ultimate cure for Narcissistic abuse? Yes, no doubt about it, but only when you are ready to take the medicine. Thank you as always for watching, comments are welcomed.