Freedom After Narcissistic Abuse: Where Do You Go From Here? Five Key Points So you are free of the narc, or so you think. Recurring nightmares with the narc causing you distress are still there, but you only realize that when you wake up in the middle of the night with the nightmare fresh on your mind. The dream shows you the extent of the psychological damage the narc did in your life. It gives you insight into your subconscious. Goodness knows how many of these dreams go on that you aren't aware of. The subconscious is far from having fully processed the trauma you think is no longer an issue. The dream sets up a scenario where you are totally dependent upon the narc, trust them implicitly to follow through in an acute time of need, and then they walk away, with you left totally vulnerable and unable to handle the situation alone. At least that was my scenario. The repair process is still at work in your mind, maybe it's a blessing you aren't consciously aware of most of it. But what is it that you can do to help the process? Here are some of the things I have found helped me and I hope this benefits others. First and foremost, take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Be as good to yourself as you can be. Getting adequate and extra sleep is critical for the mind to repair itself as the above dream illustration just highlighted. If you are tired, your ability to handle past stress that still has its grip on you and immediate stress that requires immediate attention goes down dramatically. If you are constantly tired your judgment on your future also gets clouded. You need rest and peace in your life. Why not give the subconscious the time it needs by getting adequate and extra sleep? Second: You need to eat right and not overindulge in junk food. Use these foods sparingly to give yourself a break, but see them for what they are: no different than a cigarette. Sugar and other processed foods can be addictive and overeating in general isn't conducive to clear thinking. Not eating or not getting yourself on a routine meal schedule can also wreak havoc on the psyche. Right now you need to have as clear a thinking process as possible. You need to restore as much physical and mental and emotional stability in your life as possible. You have wounds, they aren't visible to the outside world and they aren't even visible to you, only your subconscious is fully aware of the damage and is working on your repair. So why not help out your subconscious and supply it with proper fuel, in the form of food. The best fuel you can get, the highest quality fuel. This isn't necessarily more expensive than the less healthy alternatives. Nutrition is not the focus of this video, so we will move on (hint: think fruits, vegetables and adequate amounts of meat, not prepackaged foods). Third: Limit your exposure to addictive social media and other forms of web and smart phone activities. These activities are just as harmful as drugs and alcohol in the sense that they create an instability and unnatural dependence on unwholesome things in your life. The added danger of these social sites is that they can be a force for good, but this then provides a cover for those abusing these sites and NOT using them for their own advantage or that of society. For example: yes, on the outside Instagram may seem like it is benign, but when you see how some have abused it, you may understand that it has actually ruined good people and good relationships and totally destroyed people's lives. Fourth: in addition to limiting phone and web use, don't add extra stress to your life. You are in no shape to make rational decisions about your present or future. This is a time to hold onto all of the good things that are still present in your life. You have already been forced to make major changes by the necessity of filling in the hole the narc blew into your life. Fifth: use whatever free time you have to be productive. Do things that your heart is telling you to do, POSITIVE things. These videos are my way of doing that and I sincerely hope they are of benefit. Focus your pain and suffering into whatever productive activity your heart is telling you to engage in. For the Christian believer, this means focusing on the Holy Spirit which dwells inside of every believer and being attentive to what the Spirit is telling you. Jesus talks about the Holy Spirit, in John 14: 15 to 17: 15: If yee love me, keep my commandments. 16: And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; 17: Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but yee know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. More information on the Holy Spirit: John 14: 25 and 26: 25:These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. 26: But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things... Doing God's will is critical for further repair. God sees your needs and is working on a solution to all of your problems, only you can prevent God from helping you by getting in His way. Be still and know that I am God as stated in Psalm 46 10. Spend time with God whenever you can, whether it be in the morning or any other time that is convenient. You should remove all of the cares of the world and just LISTEN. Lets be clear, we aren't talking about an audible voice, we are just allowing the conscious mind to relax and absorb whatever calm and peace and guidance that is available in our environment. God will work through your subconscious or simply provide you with peace in the form of assurance. Being positive is critical and focusing on the word of God, the Bible, and the glorious promises it makes for the believer can do a lot to take your mind off of your present situation and give you an attitude of hope and optimism. Remember, Jesus didn't make any promises He couldn't keep. He put his actions where His mouth was. When Jesus says that death is not the end and that you can have eternal life as a believer, He proved He knew what He was talking about. He did this by raising others from the dead and He himself rose from the dead. You do realize that is the reason for celebrating Easter? You do realize this is the reason for having hope, LEGITIMATE HOPE, and the proof that Jesus is the REAL THING? The ONLY real thing, as Jesus stated in John 14 6: “I am the way the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me”. That's a pretty strong assertion for someone to make. Think about that, you people who have devoted your life to a cause without scrutinizing exactly what these people you idolize are actually doing to help animals or humanity. You reject Jesus, who proved Himself, and you devote your time and energy to an easily provable fraud, simply because it is trendy, famous people back it, and it makes you feel good about yourself, because that is the type of person you want to be. Good luck with that. Those who are mystified and baffled by Christianity, have a good day, and peace be with you. The rest of this video will require a willingness to believe what Jesus said, and even His disciples were confused and needed Jesus to clarify. Let's continue on in John 14 since it really provides a lot of answers that the unbeliever has a hard time understanding . John 14 takes place before the crucifixion and the disciples were totally unaware of what was about to happen. Jesus, of course, knew the future in full detail. John 14 verses 18 to 21: 18: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. 19: Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but yee see me: because I live, yee shall live also. 20: At that day yee shall know that I am in my Father, and yee in me, and I in you. 21: He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. This is Jesus talking about physical death, eternal life, the Holy Spirit, and He clearly states that if you love God, He will reveal Himself to you, a true believer, and manifest in the believer's life. So to those who think it is crazy to be listening to God and hearing His voice and receiving guidance from God and seeing the presence of God in your life, here is your answer as to why YOU, the unbeliever, consider this nonsense: John 14: 22 to 23: 22: Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world? 23: Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. Here Jesus is clarifying the confusion by stating things more clearly to Judas (not the Judas who betrayed Him). There is a part of God, the Holy Spirit, that will live inside of a believer, referred to as “he who keeps my words”. Here is the KEY: God will be invisible and undetectable to “the world”, otherwise known as unbelievers. Do you get it? Do you, the unbeliever understand that is why you don't see the presence of God in your life and don't believe it when others say they do see God in their lives? Remember what was just stated in the question asked above: How is it that the believer will see God manifest in their lives and the world won't see this? Unbelievers will NOT see or believe. Jesus also describes the unbeliever in John 14: 24: He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which yee hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me... And finally an explanation as to why the unbeliever sees this all as nonsense: 1 Corinthians 2:14 “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” Here is the second key point:, the unbeliever will not understand. Do you get it? The unbeliever won't one: see God, and two: won't understand the wisdom of God. Thank you as always for watching, your comments are welcomed.