Moving On” from Narcissistic Abuse: The question posed is: Can you ever “move on” from narcissistic abuse? The outside world is tired of hearing about you going over every little detail of what narcissists are. The outside world has problems believing such people as the narc exists. The outside world can't and doesn't want to understand, because the effort to understand a narc is enormously time consuming. You, as the victim need to understand. It is your only path to getting yourself back, your only path to being mentally healthy again. You need to gain a firm footing in a world based in reality again not made up fantasy. A world where you can actually believe what another person is telling you, a world where you can have a relationship with someone who presents themselves honestly, gives you feedback so that there can be genuine compromise based on mutual agreements and disagreements that are worked out by COMMUNICATION. A world where you spend time with a partner who is committed to you and wants to build a solid relationship. The outside world views “moving on” as simply hitting an “off switch”. Isn't it obvious that the narc never loved you, if they did all that you, the victim, said they did? Isn't it obvious that you should just live your life, meet someone new. These outsiders have no clue. The victim has no signs on the surface that they have suffered from narc abuse. This was just a bad relationship that ended, wasn't it. ANSWER: NO, this was NOT a NORMAL relationship. It was a relationship designed for the express purpose of one individual, the narc, getting every possible benefit from the relationship with absolutely NO REGARD for their partner, the person the narc “loved”. The victim was strung along and given false affirmations of “I love you” until the very end. All the while the narc was planning their exit and strategizing how to orchestrate the scenario where the victim was clearly at fault and to blame for the breakup. To cover up for these exit plans the narc purposely did surgically precise “love bombing” especially if the victim was starting to sense something. So when the exit occurs the narc leaves suddenly, places the blame on their unsuspecting partner and has a sudden new relationship with someone “who understands the narc” and will help the poor narc get over the “abuse” the narc's partner inflicted upon the narc. This twisted and complicated scenario is unintelligible to the outside world. The damage done to the TRUE victim, the narc's partner, is on so many different levels. The narc has literally stolen EVERYTHING: the status of the righteous victim is stolen by the narc, the right to be comforted- stolen by the narc, the partner with the believable story that others will back them up on- stolen by the narc. The ability to go to sleep every night thinking that the “abuser” will eventually have to suffer for their abusive behavior- stolen by the narc. The victim is left to deal with all of the incredible pain alone, with little or no support and has been convinced they are at fault for all of it, not the narc. Try moving on from that. Thank goodness for the likes of the narc being exposed in books, YouTube and other web sources. The narcs have always been around, the only difference is that they are now easier to spot and are being exposed. With enough exposure these demons will have a tougher time perpetrating their abuse. But again the average person will not ever want to put the effort in to understand. Only the victim has the incentive and motivation to sift through the warped world of the narc. The victims can then seek comfort and learn from other victims, and in that way confirm for themselves that they ARE NOT to blame for all that happened to them. The victims can educate themselves and through education and understanding, and the help of professionals that are just starting to understand, heal themselves. The outside world will NEVER understand, or believe, or care to the level necessary to help a narc abuse victim. So be happy that you live in this age of enlightenment. You can feel deep sympathy for the victims of these narc demons from a few decades ago, where the covert narcissist plied their trade relatively undetected. Even the mental health professionals who were consulted and should have been able to help were unaware of these demons meaning that professional help could have actually made the victim worse. So what is the conclusion? Do yourself a favor, try to find help from those around you who will listen. When you are told to “get over it,” realize you are on your own. Any further mention of this narc abuse will fall on deaf ears, so you have to go to different sources for healing. If needed, seek professional help, but make sure they are equipped to help for narc abuse and understand the problem. Do the best you can to educate yourself and get comfort from other victims and benefit from the experience and knowledge other victims have managed to work out on their own. The journey to “getting over it” is a long and complicated one, since it takes a long time to re-interpret a relationship with someone you spent years with. You need to re-interpret the fantasy you lived with the narc and translate it into what was going on in reality. Once you understand what was really going on in the relationship you can then understand that you had a partner that never loved you or was serious, that never really cared or empathized with you. All of the signs were there, you just have to see the callousness for what it was, re-interpret the “ I'm yours forever” as a love bombing, and all of the sudden realize all of the lies that you were so eager to believe when the narc explained them away. I have mentioned just the tip of the iceberg. Moving on may just mean going on and living with the pain, while you gradually understand what happened to you. In time you will be happy and have joy again. The pain will eventually subside and may one day disappear, as it is replaced by genuine love and empathy in the form of an emotionally and mentally healthy environment. It is your obligation to get yourself out of the twisted world of the narc and into a world based on reality. It is your obligation to understand what happened to you and educate yourself. It is your obligation to be kind to yourself and take yourself off the hook. It is your obligation to dwell on narcissism as long as you are suffering the mental and emotional pain it has caused. It is your obligation to monitor and assess your own progress and see that you are moving in the right direction. You are a walking shell, smiling at those who tell you to get over it as you suffer in silence but you are not a narc. You are honest with yourself and you refuse to put on an act, you simply come to the conclusion that other people can't understand and maybe it isn't fair for you to expect them to. So smiling and carrying on is simply your way of not placing your burdens on others that “have their own problems”. Seek help from those who understand and care. There are plenty of people out their. My salvation came from YouTube and I am eternally grateful for the brave souls who placed their time and effort into educating me. The pain inside of me focused me and made me learn all that was taught deeply and it gently washed away the pain over time. I hope I am paying it forward. Thank You for watching this video. Comments are always welcomed. Peace be with you. Stay strong. Better days are coming.